very upset about treatment

[Brooke777]

So me and a friend went to Macey's to get a bra. I am presenting female. Anyway, I picked out a couple of ones to try on. The woman there told me I could not try them on unless I went to the mens department. She said I do not look female enough to be able to use that section. She also said if I dressed more feminine then i could. I informed her that my tight size 6 jeans are women's. My tall above the calf boots are women's. My shirt is a women's, and my B-cub breasts in my B-cup bra are very feminine. I then left. I waited to cry till I got outside.

It was horrible.

[LivingInGrey]

* LivingInGrey hands Brooke777 some Fudgesicles

[Shantel]

I'm sorry that you had to endure that Brooke, cis women can usually read us no matter how good we look. Macy's has deep pockets and has to concern itself about legal liability and potential for litigation, not from you and me but possibly from some dufus cis female that may accuse us of something that didn't happen. I wouldn't take it too personally even if it does feel like a personal slam against you. I shop there too, and usually get a pile of things I want to try on and go to the men's section which is always nicely partitioned off anyway. Then I make a point of leaving what I don't purchase in the men's dressing room just to put across a subtle point.

[Brooke777]

I went and talked to the manager. I was crying by then. I told her how offended I was. I then made her upset. I told her that I am redoing my whole wardrobe, and how much money I make (I make a real good living), and that Macey's will not be seeing a dime of that money. That made her quite upset since she realized the amount of money they will be losing. My next step is going to be contacting corporate. I refuse to use the men's dressing rooms! I am a woman and deserve to be treated as such! I will never be going to another Macey's!

[LivingInGrey]

I would say if they at least have a good talking to to that employee and allow you to use the right changing room all should be good if you like their stock.

But then again I'd probably say the same thing in your shoes.

[spacial]

Stick at it Brook. Keep to what you can prove and go for their throats.

This insulting sort of behaviour is totally unacceptable.

[Shantel]

Well yes, I get you Brooke. If you present as female then you certainly should be treated accordingly and with due respect. I present androgenous, so I really wouldn't have a leg to stand on if I was to insist on using the women's dressing room. Just the same I have been invited to use the women's dressing room by female sales clerks that have been making helpful suggestions. I had three different women bringing me different styles of jeans at the Gap and I enjoyed the attention, it was not what I normally expect so I don't insist on the privilege as you rightfully should. Let us know what Macy's corporate has to say. Time for them to come into the 21st century!

[suzifrommd]

My next step is going to be contacting corporate. I refuse to use the men's dressing rooms! I am a woman and deserve to be treated as such! I will never be going to another Macey's!

Do it. For all of us. But tell them about us too. Tell them that you'll let us all know exactly how you've been treated.

[mixie]

Part of educating people is dealing with this issue.   You should not be upset.  I understand why you are heart broken.  However you've got yourself a huge lawsuit right there.  It's against the law for them to do that.

One thing you have to understand is what Shantel pointed out.   In general they are more likely to face problems of a man impersonating a woman and going into the woman's dressing area. 

Nowadays everyone has cameras on them and if a man snuck in and took pictures of the women Macy's could get sued.  So it's not a matter at first of them not accommodating you.  They have to err in caution.

However by the time you got to the manager she should have apologized and escorted you back to the dressing room.  Unless it was an open stall dressing room where women gather locker room style,  there shouldn't be a problem.  If there were stalls etc then you need to document a complaint and send it to the District Manager.

Do not hesitate to do this.  I can tell you right now,  threatening with "loss of sales"  ala   "Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman" doesn't make a dent.  They don't care.  The workers and the managers don't because they are usually under paid and cynical and worked to the bone.

Who cares?  The legal department.   I would ask for the security videos to be pulled so that you can see that you asked both the guard and the manager.   Send a letter in,   be sure to find the name of the people who did this and write a letter.  It will go in their personnel file and when time comes to get a promotion they aren't going to get it because of this.  Trust me.

If you call and complain nothing will happen.  Document it.

Plan for this to happen.  Be fair, it's understandable for the security to look out for the protection of the customers.   But once you have stated that you are a woman and want to use the dressing room if they don't allow you, don't get upset,   tell them  "I get this all the time,  but trust me I'm a woman"  if they still deny say OK and calmly jot down the name,  ask the floor and ask the time.  Just jot it down and walk away.

I'm sorry you had this happen. 

[mixie]

Don't boycott Macy's,  sue the living pluck out of them.  You've got them good because it's happened before.  When corporations have patterns of discrimination and they don't properly train their staff to be able to deal with these issues you can sue.  And sue big so that you can get plenty of clothes from them.   You probably will get a big gift card at the very least.


http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/business/2011/12/texas-macys-employee-fired-for-allegedly-violating-stores-lgbt-policy/

Natalie Johnson from San Antonio, Texas claims she was fired from her job at Macy's for telling a transgender customer that she could not change in the women's dressing room. (ABC News)

A Texas woman claims she was fired from her job at Macy's for telling a transgender customer that she could not change in the women's dressing room, according to ABC News' San Antonio affiliate KSAT.
The woman, Natalie Johnson, has filed a complaint with the Federal Employment Commission, saying that her religious beliefs prevent her from recognizing transgender people, according to KSAT.
Johnson, 27, was employed at the River Center Macy's in San Antonio until last week. She said a teenager caught her attention because the teen was shopping for women's clothing, but Johnson was convinced the shopper was male.
When Johnson spotted the teenager in the women's dressing area, Johnson told her she could not change there.
"I had to just be straightforward and  tell him, 'You're a man,' and of course that ... really got him steamed," Johnson told KSAT.
The teenager's friends argued with Johnson, reportedly telling her that Macy's allows transgender people to change in the dressing room of the gender they identify with.
"I made my choice the other day," Johnson said. "I refuse to comply with this policy."

Please include something like this.


Dear Macy's

While you have a policy supporting the LBGQT community it is quite clear that you are not educating your staff to treat members of this community with the respect they deserve.   A customer shopping is not out trying to make a political statement.  In most cases a person shopping is getting something they need.   When purchasing clothing it is important for the customer to try on the clothing.  Because of this need your store has dressing rooms.   By opening the dressing rooms you are accepting responsibility for the very real situation that transgendered people may need to use them.    If you provide this service to the public it is your responsibility to establish a policy and train your staff on situations that may arise because of this policy.   

[Michelle G]

Go across the street to Nordstroms, I have heard that they care about their customers quite well!

Sorry you had to deal with that! I will think about you before I go to Macy's now

[peky]

send a register letter to Macy's corporate quarter describing the episode, and demand monetary reparations for your pain and suffering and humilliation. Do include the document in the link



http://www.bloomingdalesjobs.com/common/about/EEO_Policy_6-08.pdf

[Shantel]

Don't boycott Macy's,  sue the living pluck out of them.  You've got them good because it's happened before.  When corporations have patterns of discrimination and they don't properly train their staff to be able to deal with these issues you can sue.  And sue big so that you can get plenty of clothes from them.   You probably will get a big gift card at the very least.


http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/business/2011/12/texas-macys-employee-fired-for-allegedly-violating-stores-lgbt-policy/

Wow Mixie, great information, glad someone is on top of it!

[Brooke777]

Thank you all for the wonderful support and information.  I am currently drafting my letter to corporate.  I am going to have an editor I know proof the letter prior to me sending it.  I want to make sure it is very effective.  I will keep you all informed if this progresses any further. 

They also treated my transgender friend that was with me poorly.  She too walked out of there without purchasing anything. 

[Michelle G]

Having it sent via your lawyer would have a lot of weight as well.

[mixie]

Definitely send it via your lawyer and mention that they have a repeated problem.  That employee is toast.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Having been in retail for a long time, I would take it up a step to the district level.  But even going to corporate, it will be directed to the district manager.  And most companies don't like complaint letters.  They will investigate.  You can pursue it, but you most likely need to out yourself.

[Brooke777]

Since I don't really pass, I have no problem outing myself. When I talked to the manager, I informed her that I am a transwoman. I did not want them to think I am just a man in women's clothes. That I am in fact a woman. 

I don't plan on going through an attorney. I am not the kind of person to sue, nor try and take someones job. I rally just want them to make an active stance against discrimination.

I did contact the trans law center to see if they could offer some assistance. Hopefully they will learn that we (trans* people) deserve to be treated just like everyone else.

[mixie]

I'm not a sue type myself.  But you should get compensated in some way.  The district manager will most likely send you a gift card and the manager and the employee will be spoken to.  I'm sorry but the employee should be fired.

I have a friend who is a very unattractive female.  No kidding, she's everything y'all worry about on here about not being "female enough" which I won't go into.  But she's not prevented from going into the dressing room because she's not feminine enough. 

You were discriminated against because of your gender not because you don't pass.   Please don't ever conflate the two again.

[Arch]

It's a lovely double standard, isn't it? While I was living as a woman and looked like a woman (butch or otherwise, the chest is a dead giveaway), I used the men's dressing room in store after store and never got so much as a raised eyebrow.