Insert Boring Title Here

[J.T.]

Hey everyone.  Gah, where to start.  I have no idea, because honestly I'm not exactly sure what is going on in my head or who I am.  I DO know that I feel as if my body and soul are not connected, that my "aura" is a bit fuzzy.  You know how the picture on a tv can get offset a bit and you get a "ghost" image?  That is what I feel like 98% of the time.  Not sure if I am explaining it properly.

I have never felt comfortable in my female body, hate my boobs wish i could chop them off and that my hips would go with 'em.  Dresses, pink, motherhood... society says that is what my sex is supposed to embrace.  I can't identify with that in the least bit.

Anyway, i have been searching the last two weeks for an online community of people who have had similar experiences in their lives.  I have never felt that I belong, anywhere...  my therapist I just recently told (after two years of going) of my gender issues.  And now, all of a sudden I realize I can't bury this anymore, that try as I might it won't go away.

Sorry if that was disjointed, my brain seems to be jumping around a lot these days.  I look forward to getting to know everyone better.  Thanks for welcoming me.

[cindianna_jones]

Welcome HT!  Many of us know EXACTLY what you feel. We are going through or have gone through all of it.  Know that you are not alone.

Cindi

[J.T.]

oh yeah, I'm not crazy??  You have no idea how much that means to me.

[Dennis]

Heh, you should see my before and after pictures. My after is my icon. My before is, born female, tried my damndest to live up to it, even as a lesbian, and I still couldn't because it wasn't me.

You're not crazy, you're just different. And there ain't nothin to be ashamed about for different.

Once I let go of that, I became the happiest dude on earth because not many other guys can even imagine just being grateful to be a guy. Even if transition is not your thing, finding  yourself is the important part.

Dennis

[togetherwecan]

Welcom to Susan's HT!!!

[Lucy]

Your welcome to ask any questions and join the fun HT but I would say learn the rules of the site and have a good look around and get fermillier with it. There is plenty of good information for you to use so sit back and relax. Were all friends here

Lucy

[Donna]

Hi, i'll trade you bodies in a heartbeat. Welcome
Donna

[J.T.]

thanks for the welcome

I have a quick question and I didn't see the answer anywhere, although i'm sure i could have looked closer.

I often call everyone I know "dude" and say "guys" for a group of people.  Wanted to know if that was inappropriate here or what, i don't want to offend anyone.

[Dennis]

Good question. I'll leave it for the women. It doesn't bother me of course

Dennis

[Kate]

I often call everyone I know "dude" and say "guys" for a group of people.  Wanted to know if that was inappropriate here or what, i don't want to offend anyone.

Personally, I don't mind hearing "you guys," as it's just a genderless expression to me. "Dude" I don't much care for though... not sure why. I get that it's meant generically though - I have a guy at work who calls *everyone* "Dude!" Still, I cringe when I hear it.

I can only speak for me though, I dunno about everyone else? I appreciate your asking though!

~Kate~

[HelenW]

Hiya, ht, welcome!

Happy to make your acquaintance!

... And now, all of a sudden I realize I can't bury this anymore, that try as I might it won't go away.

hehe - Welcome to the club.  I hope you'll find what you need here the way I did.  I'll look forward to reading more from you in the future.

again, WELCOME ! !
helen

[J.T.]

thanks


uh, i'm a bit lost around the boards right now.  Not sure where to start, but I'll get there.

[Jillieann Rose]

Hi ht!
Just wanted to add my welcome to all the rest.
Do take your time exploring the site because there is so much here.
And do share I is a good way to clear your head.

Jillieann

[rhonda13000]

Hey everyone.  Gah, where to start.  I have no idea, because honestly I'm not exactly sure what is going on in my head or who I am.  I DO know that I feel as if my body and soul are not connected, that my "aura" is a bit fuzzy.  You know how the picture on a tv can get offset a bit and you get a "ghost" image?  That is what I feel like 98% of the time.  Not sure if I am explaining it properly.

You do not need to.

The empathy that you will find here renders verbal expression and interpretation wholly unnecessary.

We know..   

I have never felt comfortable in my female body, hate my boobs wish i could chop them off and that my hips would go with 'em.  Dresses, pink, motherhood... society says that is what my sex is supposed to embrace.  I can't identify with that in the least bit.

'Society' functions upon simple stereotypes and rigid categorization [sparing it from actually thinking and making intelligent, prudent, fair and loving assessments and judgments..

Therefore, it could be stated with a certain degree of accuracy that, "'Society' is full of it."

The fault lies with 'Society' and not you. 

Anyway, i have been searching the last two weeks for an online community of people who have had similar experiences in their lives.  I have never felt that I belong, anywhere...  my therapist I just recently told (after two years of going) of my gender issues.  And now, all of a sudden I realize I can't bury this anymore, that try as I might it won't go away.

Don't 'bury' it, honey. 

Some of us have paid a very heavy price for having [with futility] made the attempt.

Sorry if that was disjointed, my brain seems to be jumping around a lot these days.  I look forward to getting to know everyone better.  Thanks for welcoming me.

No need. 

There was no misunderstanding exactly what you said and expressed.

Welcome.   

[J.T.]

thanks jillieann, rhonda

yep, society sucks.  I always thought I didn't care about society, that I liked being different.  But it is so hard, when everyone around you has NO clue what is going on inside your head and make assumptions based on those categories/stereotypes.  Hence why I used to want to be a hermit, and have severe social anxiety.  I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me.  I just need to build of the confidence to be who i am.  I think I may be able to do that here.

Your welcome means the world to me.

[rhondabythebay]

I always thought I didn't care about society, that I liked being different.  But it is so hard, when everyone around you has NO clue what is going on inside your head and make assumptions based on those categories/stereotypes.  Hence why I used to want to be a hermit, and have severe social anxiety.  I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me.

Welcome ht,

I am reading my own thoughts of the past here. The experience of social anxiety and, for me, depression came along with it. I think you will find a supportive and understanding community here. There is also tons of info on the wiki. I know my confidence in who I am has grown since coming out to some of my family and friends. Joining Susan's has helped a great deal too. Welcome again!

Hugs,

Rhonda