a little too old to be discovering myself??

[Jason.Bailey]

I'm 26 and have spent my entire life as female...I have always known I was different, but I have been denying it, or not really paying attention to it....but recently, I think I have started to accept that I'm not really female...but maybe I am?? It's been so many years, and I'm not sure what to think...how does one find out for sure if they are trans? I'm so confused right now...A couple of years ago, I went through a period of a few months presenting as male, but I looked like a 13 year old boy and it completely messed my head up even more...back then the idea of trans people was new to me, and now I am hearing about HRT that will help me look like a man instead of a boy(I have a baby face)...but how can I know for sure that this is what I want? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated...

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Jason,

First to answer your threads title. You're NEVER too old to do anything. Secondly, to answer your posts question, "How do you find out if you're trans." Simple; find  good gender therapist and together you'll discover something more valuable than gold. YOU.

Be safe, well and happy

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Jason.Bailey]

that's a good idea. Where do I find one? I must say that this is getting a lot easier since I have moved to a new city and have met a few trans people who are now wonderful friends....it's not so scary anymore you know?

[Carbon]

There are people older than you on this forum who are transitioning and quite happy with it. IMO you don't need to be sure, you just need to think it will most likely make your life better and be willing to accept the risks. Of course, you don't need to do anything you aren't comfortable with or don't want.

If you go on testosterone most notably you'll eventually start growing facial hair- maybe even enough for a beard- and your voice will drop. It's obviously not possible to predict the exact results but if you have a low voice and/or facial hair that will go a long way towards people seeing you as a man. But I'll let someone who's actually been in your position answer in more detail.

[Carbon]

that's a good idea. Where do I find one? I must say that this is getting a lot easier since I have moved to a new city and have met a few trans people who are now wonderful friends....it's not so scary anymore you know?

You could do a google search, ask around support groups, or ask for a referral from someone. Ultimately a gender therapist won't be able to tell you anything about yourself that you can't tell but they will have at least met a lot of trans people and talked to them about their lives.  Some people find it helpful.

You'll probably have to see a therapist for at least three months before you're allowed to start testosterone anyway. This is unless you can find an "informed consent" clinic... easy if you're in a major city, maybe hard if you're not.

[ZombieDog]

I agree you're never too old.  I'm 28 and just now starting my FtM transition and I feel great!  A couple people in my local support group are much older than me(50s!) and just starting and they say it's the best thing they ever did.

Definitely talk to a therapist and I'd also suggest looking at transgender support groups in your area.  I've found that most LGBT centers have one that happens fairly regularly that you should be able to call and ask about.  I know that's easier said than done, it took me a couple months to work up the courage to do but I haven't felt this good in years.

From here it's all up to you.  The world is your oyster all it takes is for you to feel yourself out and decide what YOU need to do to be happy and healthy, even if that turns out to be choosing only to recognize that it's okay to feel the way you do.

Keep your chin up.

[Jason.Bailey]

I have actually just googled and emailed a gender therapist in my city. Hopefully that will help point me in the right direction. I have always been a part of the LGBT community, so I think finding a support group might be a little easier to find...all I know is that I have started to wear mens clothes again, and I feel a lot more comfortable then I have in a long while...thank you all for your support and advice 

[Carbon]

I have actually just googled and emailed a gender therapist in my city. Hopefully that will help point me in the right direction. I have always been a part of the LGBT community, so I think finding a support group might be a little easier to find...all I know is that I have started to wear mens clothes again, and I feel a lot more comfortable then I have in a long while...thank you all for your support and advice 

Don't be afraid to look for another therapist if you aren't totally happy. There's a world of difference in my first therapist and my current one. As an example the first guy actually asked me on the first day if I planned to get breast implants. It's like "Uhhhh I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." My second one asked me if I had ever thought about shaving my legs.  Little less invasive.

[Jason.Bailey]

lol ya....like I'm not sure if I'd appreciate someone asking me if I want surgery to remove my breasts lol...it's a little too soon for that I think

[Beverly]

As an example the first guy actually asked me on the first day if I planned to get breast implants. It's like "Uhhhh I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." My second one asked me if I had ever thought about shaving my legs.

No therapist has ever asked me anything like this. They have all asked me what I need to do to achieve my goals.

BTW, for the OP - you think you are too old to transition at 26? I am nearly double your age and if you want to go FTM then in one respect to have it easy because testosterone will make you more passable with no effort on your part than oestrogen makes MTFs. Of course, we have less surgery so I guess it all balances out.

[Carbon]

No therapist has ever asked me anything like this. They have all asked me what I need to do to achieve my goals.

Well the first guy was an older man so he was very "old school," what I imagine being common 20-30 years ago. He was very nice and meant well but there were a lot of things like this and he had all these entrenched beliefs that didn't necessarily apply to my life.  There's no reason to put up with this stuff though (even if the therapist is nice! you're paying for a service, not trying to make friends) unless you're in a REALLY small area, even then you could drive an hour to somewhere else and make the visits twice a month instead of weekly (assuming one can drive at all/would have gone weekly in the first place).

I'm happy for you if you've been luckier than me. I've had a lot of bad experiences with therapists even before talking about gender stuff so I know bad things can happen, but the individual therapist makes a big difference.

[Beverly]

I think you are never too old to act on your feelings, but I also think if you make it to 26 without any real problems living as a female then you really have to ask yourself if a desperate measure like transition is really going to be worth it for you. It is not right for everyone so you really need to be honest with yourself when searching for an answer.

I made it to 48 as a male and transition is still right for me, so I disagree very strongly with your point of view.

[Sarah Louise]

Don't give up on life and happiness at the tender age of 26.  There is just too much life infront of you.

[bingunginter]

I think you are never too old to act on your feelings, but I also think if you make it to 26 without any real problems living as a female then you really have to ask yourself if a desperate measure like transition is really going to be worth it for you. It is not right for everyone so you really need to be honest with yourself when searching for an answer.

Good luck..

To me transition is not a desperate measure. I want to transition because simply I want to. Of course I thought about the pros and cons. I think its worth it. I don't really have problem living as my born gender.

[Constance]

Jason,

I was 38 when I realized I wasn't really a guy and started transitioning when I was 41. I'm 43 now and have been living "full time" for about a year now.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Pish-posh.  You are just a babe in the woods.  I transition at 54.  You are never too old, if it makes you happy.

[Jason.Bailey]

thanks everyone for all your opinions...either way, i want to be sure that it's the right path for me, but things are really starting to add up and make sense in my mind. At any rate, all your inputs are very helpful 

[aleon515]

What did you say was too old-- 26? We have a fb group of transmen over 40 with I think maybe 15+ members. Half the guys in the ftm support group are over 35 (with some late transitions). We have people who are transitioning post menopausal.

Live your life. Your slightly more mature pov should help you in some ways.

--Jay J

[Catherine Sarah]

that's a good idea. Where do I find one?

Hi Jason,

Go to the following link and if you take the selection "List of Therapists" it will open a page that should give all the info you need.

https://www.susans.org/Healthcare/Therapists_and_Counselors/

Glad to hear your move has worked out well for you.  Depending where your journey takes you, make sure you look after these new found friends, as I'm sure they will look after you.

Let us know how you went and are coping.

Be safe, well and happy

Lotsa huggs
CAtherine

[Catherine Sarah]

Hello Janet,

Pish-posh.  You are just a babe in the woods.  I transition at 54.  You are never too old, if it makes you happy.

Transitioned at 54 'A?' Whose the babe in the woods NOW?  And keep away from my profile !!!            

Huggs
Catherine