Passing tips and male mannerisms

[Josh]

I'm 4 months on T and my face and all passes I'm pretty sure...I pass as a 14 year old, 16 at most due to my height and baby face (that even my dad has). I have pretty male mannerisms, always have since I was a young kid...elementary school. But I'm resizing the more femenine things, especially in my voice and the way I talk.

Passing tips and male mannerisms? Advice on anything is appreciated. Like what do you do?

[Christopher_Marius]

One thing I've noticed that men say to one another often and that women don't seem to say at all is "I appreciate it." or just "Appreciate it."

Dealing with store clerks, waiters, professional interactions... Any time one transacts any kind of business. Maybe it's just where I live. Ionno.

Also i don't think I've ever heard the word "pretty" pass a man's lips, except maybe when talking to a small female child.

[AdamMLP]

Also i don't think I've ever heard the word "pretty" pass a man's lips, except maybe when talking to a small female child.

I think men sometimes say "pretty" in terms of "that's pretty sweet" etc.

Men tend to say things like "buddy", or "mate" or whatever word is common in your area.  I would die of happiness if someone called me "ba", or said "yes ba" to me, and sometimes almost use it myself but I don't have the accent to pull it off (it's sort of a regional term for mate or boy here).

In the U.K. "cheers" is more common than "thank-you" from men, not sure about in the US, it might not even be used there.  Men tend to be a lot more blunt than women in there speech I think.

I've never seen a woman spit, but that's a pretty disgusting habit.  As for another habit, men seem to smoke rollys more than straights than women -- that might just be because the men I know earn less than the women I know (hows that for anti-sexism? )

Men tend to put their hands in their pockets more often as well simply because they have big enough pockets to put their hands in.

It's all pretty regional, so I'd just suggest looking at what guys your age do.

[anibioman]

men extend their hand to shake hands first. also men say "thanks man" women do not. men tend to not face each other when talking they usually are perpendicular to one another or side by side. men dont touch one another, a girl and a guy touch  girls touch each other, but guys dont. when guys do touch each other its usually with the back of the hand not the palm, like to get another guys attention a guy will tap him on the shoulder will the back of his hand. guys tend to keep it brief and will use as few words as posible to comunicate their point.

thats about it ill add to it if i think of any more.

[Christopher_Marius]

I think men sometimes say "pretty" in terms of "that's pretty sweet" etc.

I think it was pretty obvious what was meant.

[DriftingCrow]

Women tend to give the ends of their sentences a bit of an inflection, while men keep it more flat/monotone.

Most things would depend on your region, and also what kind of environment that you're in--there's going to be differences in just haning out at a bar somewhere and a professional environment.

I think it's usually just best to just sit somewhere and quietly observe people.

In the U.K. "cheers" is more common than "thank-you" from men, not sure about in the US, it might not even be used there.  Men tend to be a lot more blunt than women in there speech I think.

The only people I hear say "cheers" in the US are people who are obsessed with BBC America or theater majors.

[Kevin Peña]

Um, pardon my French, but I think that the only guy mannerism is not giving a f***. Guys can sit with their legs apart, leaning back on their chairs, and basically do anything else that is more comfortable, mainly because they don't have to suit the whole barbie-doll stereotype women have to deal with. Honestly, do you think some women sit with their legs together, perfectly erect, and poised because they like it?

[DriftingCrow]

Um, pardon my French, but I think that the only guy mannerism is not giving a f***. Guys can sit with their legs apart, leaning back on their chairs, and basically do anything else that is more comfortable, mainly because they don't have to suit the whole barbie-doll stereotype women have to deal with. Honestly, do you think some women sit with their legs together, perfectly erect, and poised because they like it?

I think there's times when men can't just not give a f***, and it wouldn't be acceptable for them to lean all over the place and sit with their legs widely spread. In job interviews, formal meetings, etc. I think it would be inappropriate to slouch and sit with your legs too wide. In general, men can get away with a lot more than women but times are changing, especially in more informal environments. I think women can sit more comfortably now than before and people don't think too much about it. In job interviews, meetings, etc. women have a higher standard than men to live up to when it comes to mannerisms, and I hate how women aren't seen as powerful/good managers if they don't wear tasteful makeup to work or fit in with other expectations and stereotypes. 

And, I do think some women sit with their legs together and poised because they like it-of course not all women. Back when I was trying to pass more as a man, I would try to force myself to sit with my legs apart and take up more room, but I found it uncomfortable. I think sitting with my legs crossed (either in the girly way of crossing or the more masculine way) is much more comfortable, and though I tend to have horrible posture, I like sitting straight and poised most of the time since I think it makes it more comfortable over time to type all day or to drive for long periods, I feel more powerful and assertive sitting/standing straight, and it makes me less afraid that I am going to end up with a horrible hunchback once I get old.

[Kevin Peña]

Ok, don't take me so seriously, I was messing around for the most part.  I was poking fun at how silly it is to focus on "male" mannerisms and your comments about appropriateness of situation//personal preference rather than gender conformity only work for that point.

[dalebert]

men extend their hand to shake hands first. also men say "thanks man" women do not. men tend to not face each other when talking they usually are perpendicular to one another or side by side. men dont touch one another, a girl and a guy touch  girls touch each other, but guys dont. when guys do touch each other its usually with the back of the hand not the palm, like to get another guys attention a guy will tap him on the shoulder will the back of his hand. guys tend to keep it brief and will use as few words as posible to comunicate their point.

That's all horrible. Probably mostly true but horrible.

[tekla]

When in doubt scratch your neither regions.  When you fart make it a major production.  Always be drinking.  Belch as often as you can.  Criminal records are not a bad thing.  And when in doubt as to what you should say - of even if its not in doubt - go with: "You're saying that like I should care."

[aleon515]

If you do some typical male things and don't pass it just screws with people's minds. 
For instance, males nod to each other and not to women. Nodding to them annoys them. I also think saying "thanks man" is upsetting. I feel males are more informal to each other than they are to women. I feel these things are rather interesting probably make a good sociological study.

BTW, I think some ways women sit aren't really less comfortable, they are just different. I have never worried too much what other people think, but now i am trying to teach myself to sit differently. I don't find it really more comfortable. (Some things are just kind of practical-- if you wear a skirt opening your legs will let some idiot look up the skirt.)
They might not be comfortable to you, Diana, in all seriousness, as you just are less used to them. Or maybe they have more to do with your size.

--Jay J

[DriftingCrow]

Ok, don't take me so seriously, I was messing around for the most part.  I was poking fun at how silly it is to focus on "male" mannerisms and your comments about appropriateness of situation//personal preference rather than gender conformity only work for that point.

I apologize if I sounded angry, and if my posts don't make much sense. I just usually feel strongly when I think people are saying that men have little standards to live up to. Also, I am just a serious person most of the time, I can't help it, it's just who I am.  I do think focusing on "male" or even "female" mannerisms can seem silly, because everyone should just do what makes them comfortable, and acting in accordance with these expectations further fuels gender conformity; but I realize that when someone is trying to pass as one gender, they sometimes have to do what's typically expected for that gender if passing is that important to them, at least until they reach a physical stage where people wouldn't question them. I also feel like the barbie-doll stereotype is more strongly enforced upon women by other women, so sometimes it just mind boggles me when some women  get peeved at men because they perceive men as having less to live up to. (I wasn't thinking you were peeved at men, I did realize that you weren't being serious, I just think outloud sometimes, and I am getting a little tired so my words weren't the most articulate but I can't go to bed yet since I have something in the oven.)

[Josh]

I'm not one to conform to the stereotypes also because I like the way I am and some of the slightly femme things I do (which isn't even much). It's just for passing purposes at this point. Thanks guys.

[FTMDiaries]

The difference between typical male and female inflection has been touched on already in this thread... but there's one other difference in speech patterns that ought to be mentioned: men give orders; women try to get other people to like them.

If you listen to typical male speech patterns, they're very direct, to-the-point and decisive. He's not trying to get you to like him or (necessarily) agree with him; he's simply asserting himself and telling you how it is. If necessary, he'll use humour to deflect any apparent offence.

Typical female speech patterns use a choice of words, tone of voice, and questioning intonation to make them sound a little unsure of what they're saying because they don't want to hurt your feelings; their main aim is to get you to like them so you'll agree with them. If they try to use humour, it often falls flat.

So the typical male speech pattern is very matter-of-fact and the female speech pattern is rather more emotional.

This has always been a problem for me because I've always had a very typical male speech pattern (due to my Asperger's) which meant that people who saw me as female would find me quite rude. But in actual fact I was much more polite than my brother, who wasn't seen as rude.

When it comes to mannerisms: when women walk they lead from the chest; when men walk they lead from the hips and they assume more space for themselves than women do. You'll know you're getting it right when you notice that women practically walk into you - it'll mean they're presuming you'll get out of their way like most guys do.

[dalebert]

BTW, I think some ways women sit aren't really less comfortable, they are just different. I have never worried too much what other people think, but now i am trying to teach myself to sit differently. I don't find it really more comfortable. (Some things are just kind of practical-- if you wear a skirt opening your legs will let some idiot look up the skirt.)

I used to cross my legs like this, in a more traditional male-style. There is a totally practical reason for this. It doesn't smoosh your junk. And if you're wearing a packer, you might find it more practical as well.



However, I retrained myself to cross my legs in a more traditional female-style even though it's not as comfortable on the junk and might even require a dramatic and ungraceful re-positioning (hopefully when no one's looking). The reason? Because I was actually getting callouses on the top of my thighs where my leg was sitting and I really didn't like them. They faded reasonably quickly when I stopped. I was only mildly self-conscious about this looking more feminine because I am gay, after-all. So I look more gay (the guy in this pic is openly gay, btw). So what?

[FTMDiaries]

I used to cross my legs like this, in a more traditional male-style. There is a totally practical reason for this. It doesn't smoosh your junk. And if you're wearing a packer, you might find it more practical as well.

I'd love to be able to sit in that more masculine style - but my hips are gynaecoid (i.e. they flare quite widely) and I'm slightly knock-kneed - so it's very painful for me to sit like that. That more feminine seating style would be comfortable for my hips & knees, but I'm trying to disassociate myself from femaleness.

So instead I cross them at the ankles, or just spread 'em.

[Kevin Peña]

If you do some typical male things and don't pass it just screws with people's minds. 
For instance, males nod to each other and not to women. Nodding to them annoys them. I also think saying "thanks man" is upsetting. I feel males are more informal to each other than they are to women. I feel these things are rather interesting probably make a good sociological study.

BTW, I think some ways women sit aren't really less comfortable, they are just different. I have never worried too much what other people think, but now i am trying to teach myself to sit differently. I don't find it really more comfortable. (Some things are just kind of practical-- if you wear a skirt opening your legs will let some idiot look up the skirt.)
They might not be comfortable to you, Diana, in all seriousness, as you just are less used to them. Or maybe they have more to do with your size.

Ok, once again, I was not being serious about any stereotypes (Then again, I can't sit with my legs perfectly together due to my external genitalia, but that's beside the point). I am just saying that over-thinking everything won't make people think you are male//female, so much as just a weird person trying to overcompensate.

I'm not one to conform to the stereotypes also because I like the way I am and some of the slightly femme things I do (which isn't even much). It's just for passing purposes at this point. Thanks guys.

If it makes you feel better, if that's you in your avatar photo, I think you look plenty male, albeit a pretty-boy male.

[dalebert]

If it makes you feel better, if that's you in your avatar photo, I think you look plenty male, albeit a pretty-boy male.

I agree--a cute young guy. Are you having passing issues?

[Josh]

Thanks and yeah just getting shed a lot more than usual lately. I generally pass rather well, always have (thankfully). Yeah im thinking its my voice tho. And my height.