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How to deal with overthinking?

Started by Anna++, December 09, 2012, 09:07:02 AM

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Anna++

Quote from: Michelle Stone on December 11, 2012, 06:14:36 PM
I don't know if this helps but one thing my therapist suggested is that any time I'm overthinking something, stop and determine on a scale from 1-10 how serious the problem/issue/thought is. You'll be surprised how often you realize what you think is a 10 is really just a 2.

I'll try to remember this next time, it's worth a shot (Even if you did just ruin the surprise :P)
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Anna++

Quote from: JoanneB on December 10, 2012, 07:11:28 PM
Once you have a goal, you make a plan and then work the plan. No more thinking, just doing.

I realized that I'm just going to keep making excuses, so here's the plan:  My insurance changes in January, so I'm already planning on calling doctors and giving them my new information.  I'll add "therapist" to my list of places to call and take care of it at the same time.
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Freyja_Joro

I haven't been able to think of anything, I used to play a lot of games to just get rid the thoughts, but recently as soon as I stopped playing, I started to think about it again...

Now I write, I tried to get out of the closet using a project... once, I got a 4 out of it but I think I was a little too subtle about it... So yeah now I write... mainly but I always write, any kind of creativity should help. It demands that you use your imagination...
What's the point of following the path society told you to follow if you're lost anyway? Take the unbeaten path.
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Sandra M. Lopes

In what my opinion, you can deal it in three ways.

The usual way: Getting too busy with other things so that you don't have time to overthink. There have been lots of examples already on this thread. In my little experience, this is just trying to repress thoughts, pushing them into deeper and deeper levels of conscience, hoping that they stay buried and don't pop out again.

This will not work. Ever.

But sadly, in this age, we tend to be educated to believe that it works.

The "wishful thinking way": these are a lot of techniques born from the New Age era, when people were convinced that they could "think positive thoughts" to drive "bad thoughts" away. While there are gazillions of methods of self-help who are vaguely reminiscent of self-hypnotism, they have little or no result. In effect, you will be trying to train your mind to think different kinds of thoughts, suppressing the ones you consider "bad". This just leads to stress, specially when one hopes to get quick results (which is hardly ever the case).

While some people publicly report that they have achieved some results with "positive thinking" and its self-help derivatives, to the extent that there are now fields of psychology actively researching this area, I would certainly recommend some caution in applying those methods. If they come from a registered therapist who has been given extensive training in some scientific, peer-reviewed method, then, well, I'd say, go ahead and try. If it's something out of a book bought at a supermarket or an airport, give it a miss.

A typical example: the people behind the incredibly popular The Secret which Oprah so much adores have cooked-up a method, being used by millions, who allegedly turns everyone following that method into better persons, and they claim that millions have done so. Ironically, the owners to the copyrights on the book and its methods are fighting ugly legal battles in order to make more money, going head over heels about their lawsuits. I imagine that anyone finding "a secret" to have a happy life by changing their mindset with happy, positive thoughts would care little about fighting judicial battles in court... so, well, let's be honest and examine what the people designing those methods are really like, behind their smiling façades and apparently "perfect" life.

The third way: observe the many thoughts carefully. Where do they sprout from? Where do they go once they disappear from your mind? Why do some thoughts come over and over again and cause pain and anxiety? This method is not easy, because it forces us to deal with our own thoughts directly, instead of avoiding them. But instead of repressing thoughts, or forcing ourselves to fill our minds with new thoughts, this method just relies on observing the thoughts very carefully and see where they come from. You might wonder how this helps in any way. Well, I'm not suited to explain the technique well; you need a qualified teacher for that, and one that you can very carefully observe if they apply the technique to themselves as well (i.e. are they balanced, happy, functional people?). The major problem with this technique is that it takes a lot of time to master, and, in these days, we have little patience and demand immediate results. The major advantage is that if you're willing to give it a try, and have a good, experienced teacher, it will work well, and has worked for billions of humans in the past 2,600 years :) Qualified teachers of this technique are also readily available these days pretty much everywhere and the technique is usually free to learn, but, since it takes so long, most people give up before they see any results. Which is naturally a pity!

Therapists are able to use a few variants which produce results in a shorter time, e.g. 2-3 years, but after a few months you should feel a bit better about your "overthinking". Gestalt psychology and therapy produce rather good results in that time frame, by essentially teaching patients to recognise their own thoughts, their causes, and apply antidotes. You might continue to "overthink" but not feel so affected by it (i.e. no stress, anxiety, frustration, and so forth, from the "overthinking" process). Now I'm not a psychologist, so I can't explain how this works, but I would most certainly encourage you to talk to one and strictly follow their methods. I'm also not familiar to the actual training, although it's rather similar to what I'm used to do, just with a Western twist in terms of nomenclature and explanations :)

In my experience, Gestalt works rather well for those willing to apply it, and the "bad examples" of people who didn't see any effects is also because they gave up too soon and didn't follow the therapy to its conclusion.
Don't judge, and you won't be judged.
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Kevin Peña

Use your overthinking to an advantage. I embrace mine. It allows me to keep any conversation going for hours since I never run out of things to say. Don't get rid of your overthinking, utilize it.
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Anna++

Quote from: Sandra M. Lopes on December 21, 2012, 02:15:55 PM
In what my opinion, you can deal it in three ways.

Lots to take in here, and it'll deserve a re-read soon.

Quote from: Sandra M. Lopes on December 21, 2012, 02:15:55 PM
Getting too busy with other things so that you don't have time to overthink.

I've avoided gender identity issues for the 12 or so years that I've been aware of them, so I'm ready for a different approach.  Distractions may be nice but I eventually get good enough at some things to continue without needing to think about it.  This frees up my brain for other things...

Quote from: Sandra M. Lopes on December 21, 2012, 02:15:55 PM
The "wishful thinking way": these are a lot of techniques born from the New Age era, when people were convinced that they could "think positive thoughts" to drive "bad thoughts" away.

I haven't done much wishful thinking lately, but in high school I was hopeful that I would wake up and finally be a girl (even if it was just for an hour), and then I'd finally be free of these thoughts!  Too bad that never happened...

Quote from: Sandra M. Lopes on December 21, 2012, 02:15:55 PM
The third way: observe the many thoughts carefully. Where do they sprout from? Where do they go once they disappear from your mind? Why do some thoughts come over and over again and cause pain and anxiety? This method is not easy, because it forces us to deal with our own thoughts directly, instead of avoiding them.

This sounds the healthiest out of everything.  I'll read about the Gestalt thing, thanks for the link!

Quote from: DianaP on December 21, 2012, 03:23:53 PM
Use your overthinking to an advantage. I embrace mine. It allows me to keep any conversation going for hours since I never run out of things to say. Don't get rid of your overthinking, utilize it.

This was actually the first time I've spent days focused on a single issue.  It seems to have calmed down a bit since I've started the journaling technique suggested by somebody earlier.  I think people would be a bit suspicious if I went from "really quiet" to "won't stop talking" :P
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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aleon515

Trans definitely follows me around. I'm not sure that it bothers me at this point, but I am aware of it. It also follows me in my dreams (night ones I mean). I will wake up and I don't even recall what I dreamt and think. "That was a trans dream".

--Jay
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