How to deal with overthinking?

[Anna++]

So I've caught myself overthinking a LOT over the last few weeks (in a single day I can convince myself that both nothing and everything is wrong with me).  What is the best way to handle overthinking so that I don't drive myself crazy?

[suzifrommd]

What is the best way to handle overthinking so that I don't drive myself crazy?

Blogging has really helped me. Putting my thoughts in writing, having people comment on them, and then read them back later.

A friend and I jokingly have a word for this. We call it GIP (Gender Identity Preoccupation).

[Emily Aster]

A therapist. I'm a master of over thinking. I've been doing it for over 30 years. Therapy helped me isolate the individual issues and tackle them one by one.

[Anna++]

A friend and I jokingly have a word for this. We call it GIP (Gender Identity Preoccupation).

That's three words .

One of my friends did tell me I should start a blog a few years ago... but I've never really felt inspired to write about anything.  I'll consider this,  especially if I can find a way to blog without it coming back to me in real life. 

As for therapists, I feel like I'm gradually working my way there.  I've spent a long time scared of anybody finding out, and the thought of talking with somebody in real life is still really scary to me.

[Elsa]

Writing things down helps ... keep a diary - I used to keep a diary for a few years until I got too busy to bother with one.

Overthinking things can leave you extremely frustrated and tired so sometimes it's best to let it out either by writing, blogging, therapy or a friend are the best options or as  a last resort - keeping yourself busy,

[Anna++]

Overthinking things can leave you extremely frustrated and tired

Especially when I start right before going to bed, or when waking up at 2AM... fortunately that doesn't happen too often.  I'm liking either write it down or start a blog so far, that'll give me something to bring along if / when I see a therapist.

[aleon515]

I am pretty sure I think about being trans about 24/7. It is interesting as my therapist has indicated that he is aware of that, yet has said nothing otherwise. I am guessing it is a "normal" part of the process of processing this info and your feelings. I think blogging and/or journaling is a good way of dealing with it.

--Jay

[Kevin Peña]

Well, as someone that can rationally think of connections for Swiss cheese all the way to the fall of the British at Singapore, I can testify to being an overthinker. 

I just like to keep myself busy and just have some blind fun. I watch cartoons, sing "We Didn't Start the Fire," or just have a legitimate conversation with myself. I even use different voices. 

[JoanneB]

I wish I had a sure fire method. Keeping myself busy does help. Yet, when I think about that  , I go "Hey, diversions and distractions is what you relied on for 30+ years to AVOID dealing with being trans". (Did I mention I can overthink things? Plus, as an engineer, it is an occupational hazard) Keeping busy only works while I am busy. Most days, as you mentioned, as soon as the head hits the pillow it is full speed ahead on thinking. Self medicating w/alcohol is not a good way to quite the demons argueing inside my head. Plus tends to send you into the negative, depressive, death spiral of thoughts.

My single biggest problem I believe rests in that I have no plan, no goal, no end game. For as many good reasons to transition, I have just as many if not more not to. Yet, I've essentially been doing part-time for about 1 1/2 years. If I was sure of a goal, there isn't a whole lot left for to think about that hasn't been thought and what-iffed to death already.

Once you have a goal, you make a plan and then work the plan. No more thinking, just doing.

[Anna++]

I just like to keep myself busy and just have some blind fun. I watch cartoons, sing "We Didn't Start the Fire," or just have a legitimate conversation with myself. I even use different voices. 

There is a lot of stuff on Netflix that I want to watch... Different voices for your conversations seems necessary... just don't get into an argument and force one of your voices to sleep on the couch!

I wish I had a sure fire method. Keeping myself busy does help. Yet, when I think about that  , I go "Hey, diversions and distractions is what you relied on for 30+ years to AVOID dealing with being trans". (Did I mention I can overthink things? Plus, as an engineer, it is an occupational hazard) Keeping busy only works while I am busy. Most days, as you mentioned, as soon as the head hits the pillow it is full speed ahead on thinking.

I'm a programmer, so I went to college to learn how to think.  Both overthinking and avoiding problems seem bad, so maybe I should try to keep busy to clear my mind and then revisit my thoughts when I can think clearer.

[DeeperThanSwords]

I'm thinking of starting a scrapbook/diary of stuff I think/find that reflects aspects of how I feel. If nothing else, it'll be a good excuse to collect pictures of men I simultaneously fancy and want to be...   

[aleon515]

Joanne, good point about having a goal. I think as I have gotten closer to actually doing something-- the overthinking (or at least anxiety) goes away-- mostly.

DTS, good idea, but don't forget to put a picture of yourself in there!


--Jay

[Kevin Peña]

I sometimes like to turn my excessive thought process into a game. I imagine a game show in my head called, "Find! That! Connection!!!!"

The rules work like this. Take any two objects and see how you can connect them. The more convoluted the connection, the better.

For example, DTS, I'll take "scrapbook" and connect it to "bacon."


Here's a mediocre connection:
Scrapbook--> Collection of images--> Museum--> Louvre--> Solar-powered stone age clock--> Main material is rock--> Sidewalk gets heated by sun--> A funny way to depict heat is to cook eggs on the sidewalk--> Eggs are a common breakfast amenity that often accompanies, you guessed it, bacon.

[DeeperThanSwords]

Joanne, good point about having a goal. I think as I have gotten closer to actually doing something-- the overthinking (or at least anxiety) goes away-- mostly.

DTS, good idea, but don't forget to put a picture of yourself in there!


--Jay

Heheh, I'd love to, but even with the pretty good job I did of using make-up to look manly, I still don't look like I want to.

[Emily Aster]

(Did I mention I can overthink things? Plus, as an engineer, it is an occupational hazard)

I'm in the same boat. I've been working on my design plan for years. I'm starting to think I'll never finish it and move on to development.

Most days, as you mentioned, as soon as the head hits the pillow it is full speed ahead on thinking.

The dream of getting more than 5 hours of sleep a night is in my head too. I spend probably 2 hours a night mulling over things in my mind when I should be sleeping. Then, since I'm not sleeping, I get up and hop on the computer for another hour.

[Anna++]

Well, I sat down with a notebook about an hour and a half ago meaning to bullet-point out my thoughts.  I was expecting to only take up a few lines, but my third bullet-point turned into the rest of the page!  Hopefully that's a good start .

[aleon515]

Well, I sat down with a notebook about an hour and a half ago meaning to bullet-point out my thoughts.  I was expecting to only take up a few lines, but my third bullet-point turned into the rest of the page!  Hopefully that's a good start .

Yeah sounds like stuff I do.

--Jay

[Michelle S.]

As for therapists, I feel like I'm gradually working my way there.  I've spent a long time scared of anybody finding out, and the thought of talking with somebody in real life is still really scary to me.

I totally know how you feel! But trust me, a therapist is truly a game changer. My therapist has helped me so much I don't even know where to begin. A good therapist will definitely help. Plus, talking to a therapist is not only helpful but they can also provide you with your letter to get legit HRT (and if you're thinking about SRS you'll also need letters).

I don't know if this helps but one thing my therapist suggested is that any time I'm overthinking something, stop and determine on a scale from 1-10 how serious the problem/issue/thought is. You'll be surprised how often you realize what you think is a 10 is really just a 2.

[Anna++]

I sometimes like to turn my excessive thought process into a game. I imagine a game show in my head called, "Find! That! Connection!!!!"

The rules work like this. Take any two objects and see how you can connect them. The more convoluted the connection, the better.

For example, DTS, I'll take "scrapbook" and connect it to "bacon."


Here's a mediocre connection:
Scrapbook--> Collection of images--> Museum--> Louvre--> Solar-powered stone age clock--> Main material is rock--> Sidewalk gets heated by sun--> A funny way to depict heat is to cook eggs on the sidewalk--> Eggs are a common breakfast amenity that often accompanies, you guessed it, bacon.

This reminds me of when my friends would pick a random Wikipedia article and then race to reach "Batman Beyond" by following links in the page.

[Kevin Peña]

This reminds me of when my friends would pick a random Wikipedia article and then race to reach "Batman Beyond" by following links in the page.

That sounds so fun!!