Name Survey - Part 1 - Your Last Name

[AmyBee]

I'm changing my last name. When my grandfather came out from the Ukraine, he chose a less `woggy' surname to hide behind, and I'm changing my name back to that. For me its kind of symbolic that I don't need to hide anything any more - my heritage or myself.

[Freyja_Joro]

I don't see any need to change my name, unless family members disown me. Which I doubt would happen, but I am changing my first (of course) and middle name. My name is Justin Ronald, I'll probably change it to Jessica Justin, I don't want to lose the name, and it doesn't really harm me. Ronald however I hate.

It's my bio dad's first name. And he has problems. He abused a few family members (sexually) and I have a feeling that he sexually abused me when I was young... but I can't remember, there's just this gap in my memory... it pisses me off. So I want to forget the jerk (almost swore there) and move on with MY life.

[King Malachite]

I'm torn on the matter.  It will be a long time before I have to make that choice but, on one hand I love my last name, but on the other, I it might interesting to explore other last names.

I will probably wind up combining it with another last name

[unknown]

Right now I'm kinda trying to change my name to DAM-DAM-DAAAAAM! Sparrowhawke as the first in my country.

[Simon]

Right now I'm kinda trying to change my name to DAM-DAM-DAAAAAM! Sparrowhawke as the first in my country.

Not sure if you're being real or facetious but Sparrowhawke would be an awesome last name if you come from Native American Ancestry.

[unknown]

Not sure if you're being real or facetious but Sparrowhawke would be an awesome last name if you come from Native American Ancestry.

No I mean it. I'm not native American (maybe a past life?), but when I was young what I think either could have been a sparrowhawk or a bird like that looked into my eyes twice in a week. That kind of birds are really rare where I come from so it could have been a sign.

[tgchar21]

Thanks for the responses! Although there's plenty on here that have changed their last name, it looks like a significant majority kept theirs. Now I'll discuss what (IMO) the pros and cons of each are.

Pros of keeping your last name:
If your family is supportive, changing it might create unnecessary tension.
It may raise less scrutiny when you change your name, since the reason for changing your first and middle names is obvious but might wonder why you're also changing your last name.
No need to explain the difference in last name in family group settings, or on your birth certificate (assuming you can get it changed).

Pros of changing your last name:
If you have a family that's disowned you, it might feel good to make a break from them.
Stealth or partial stealth may be easier, as it often makes it harder for others to "connect the dots" between the old and new names if they see them together.

The reasons I asked separately about transwomen and transmen is I thought the former have a little more incentive to change their last name, since it's more normal for a woman to have used more than one last name since they frequently change them upon marriage or divorce. It also provides a way to bypass outing yourself if you're asked what your former name was and they don't have a need to know in your case, since unless they ask for the full name you could say or put down just the former last name and they'd probably assume it was your "maiden" (or "previous married") name. (I got that idea from a transman who suggested putting down just your former initials on a job application if they're different, and I think for the MTF side my idea is an even better one. FTMs have the advantage in that they're less likely to be asked in a conversational setting about their former name since it's less likely that a man would've changed his name, while MTFs have the advantage of a way to respond without outing themselves but only if they've changed their last name.)

If you want to change your last name, but are worried about family reactions, a good compromise might be to pick a surname that was the maiden name of a recent ancestor (which keeps the family connection but is as good as changing to a random last name to non-family members).

[michelle]

Beings that I have had my last name for 66 years and most of my legal documents have it I see little reason to change it.     My father was adopted and my last name is his adopted last name.   From genealogical records I know his adoptive last names history.   I also know the history of my mother's last name.    I know my father's birth mother's first and last name but nothing more about that family.

For me there is no point in changing my last name.

[Lucky Peach]

I originally was planning on changing it. I wanted to get as far aways as possible from my former self. I decided on keeping it at the end though.

The pros: I feel more connected with my family
The cons: I guess it's easier to draw the connection between me and my old life? I dunno. I've been very good about drawing the line about where he ended.

[Patty_M]

The last name I used pre-transition was the name of the guy who got my mother pregnant.  He got her knocked up then went back to his family in Dallas.  There are very few emotional ties to that name.

When name change time came about I picked a name of the most distant female ancestor possible.

[GentlemanRDP]

I'm very much planning on changing my last name.
I will be using my birth first name as my last name after I change it.
Namely because I want to keep my birth name as a part of my name, even though I feel like a different person - since it's the first thing that was ever given to me.
Also, I'm getting rid of the last name because the side of the family that it comes from, doesn't approve of my transition.
If they won't acknowledge me properly, then why should I acknowledge them back?

[niamh]

I'm keeping my last name but changing the language of it.

[amdee]

I kept mine, did not wish to, lets just say i had no choice in the matter.

[PHXGiRL]

I clicked the wrong poll option. I legally changed my last name. For the main reason I did not want the two lives tied together in any way plus my last name has no family history we didn't even really know if its a real family last name because my grandma was sleeping with two guys at the time. lol

Personal preference I don't think there is a wrong or right answer.

[AusBelle]

I kept my last name.  But when I was a teenager I always imagined I'd change it to something completely different - something summery, a new beginning kind of thing, and because I thought my family would disown me.  But when it came to the crunch my family couldn't have been more accepting and supportive.  So, I never gave changing it another thought.  And I've had no problems being (mostly) stealth.

[anya921]

I kept my last name. It is my family name and I think my parents would have killed me if I have changed it. specially after the support they showed me and defending me among the relatives. we had our ups and downs but they alway had my back when some say something against me. 

[LilDevilOfPrada]

Keeping mine because in my country changing a least name with out marriage or going back to a maiden name means endless paper work and interviews with the police! NOT EVER WORTH IT.

[Elsa]

I like my last name and my first name - although I no longer feel as if my first name is part of who I am anymore.

But it's still my past and my present so I would like to keep both if I could.

[Arch]

I actually liked my original last name because it was pretty unusual. Not super exotic, but Intelius lists only about a hundred people with that last name in the U.S. I don't know how accurate that is; when I search by last name only, my old name doesn't even come up! Many of these folks married into the family, of course, but most of the rest are probably my blood relations. My paternal grandfather came from MN, and lots of people with the same last name either still live in that area or once did live there.

Actually, its unusualness marked me, and that's why it had to go. I needed a last name that was more anonymous. In addition, my original name was hard to pronounce, and people were always getting it wrong--both pronunciation and spelling. That gets old pretty quickly.

But the thing I hated the most was the incessant question "What kind of name is that?" I was never able to simply say "An American name." The interrogator always wanted to know where my family was from originally. And then, when I answered, "Germany, mostly," a lot of people would argue with me and say that I couldn't be right and that the name looked Dutch (or Norwegian). Nobody says a thing about my current last name, and that's the way I like it. In fact, I even joke about how common it is.

[Nicolette]

I changed my last name. My last name was created in 19th century Italy and given to a little orphaned boy who was my direct ancestor. It's so unique it had to be changed, otherwise I'd be outed within seconds. I know where each and every one with this last name lives.