Susan's Place Logo

News:

Based on internal web log processing I show 3,417,511 Users made 5,324,115 Visits Accounting for 199,729,420 pageviews and 8.954.49 TB of data transfer for 2017, all on a little over $2,000 per month.

Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! (Updated)

Main Menu

FTM's would you ever consider getting pregnant?

Started by simonr93, December 18, 2012, 12:07:18 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

FTM's would you ever consider getting pregnant?

Definitely
Maybe
I don't know
No
Never

simonr93

Hey guys, just to give you a basis for this question... I'm a biomale who is pansexual, who loves every single body type (providing it's covering the right person). I have always wanted kids, and I've been with this transguy for over a year now and he's pretty adamant that even if he wanted kids he'd not have his own pregnancy. He'd want to adopt, which is great. There are a lot of kids out there who need to be looked after! But I like, don't think it would be for me, I would love to have a child of my own, I don't want to sound selfish or anything by saying that, I mean do I?

Whatever Dylan (my bf) wants or doesn't want I respect. I would never try to convince or force him to do anything, but I wondered if all transguys felt that way?

My question in a nutshell is, "Are transguys uncomfortable with the idea of pregnancy?"

I personally would think it was amazingly beautiful to have like a gay relationship where a baby could come from two men. It's just, like maybe my head is in the clouds here, but do you see what I'm saying? A lot of bio-gay-guys I know say they wish male pregnancy was a thing and they could have their own babies. Heck if I could I would.

Anyway, thanks guys. I hope I don't come across as a dick or anything.
  •  

supremecatoverlord

In my experience, most guys do have a problem with it and are disgusted with the thought of ever being pregnant. However, other's opinions shouldn't really matter in this case - it should be what you want and what you're comfortable with.
Meow.



  •  

Seb

I want have my own biological children, but I'm not comfortable with having a child through a surrogate and although adopting is a very high possibility, I would love a child of my own flesh and blood. I just want to see how genetics treats my children. Though I do not personally like the idea of birthing a child, I don't mind the actual pregnancy part so much. My biggest concern would be passing, and of course any health problems from hormones.
  •  

Jamie D

No one should ever feel ashamed of wanting to have children.  Many biologists will tell you that your brain and body and reproductive systems exist for the sole purpose of passing along DNA.  It is among the most basic of human functions.

You will find all over these boards articles and topics about fertility options, such as sperm banking or egg freezing.  Or options like surrogate pregnancies.  Many of our members harbor hopes of being a parent, even if they think their own "plumbing" is all wrong.

And we have quite a few members who want nothing to do with parenthood, for any number of reasons.  As it has been suggested here, listening to a third party is no substitute for actual faced-to-face communication.
  •  

Arch

"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
  •  

Simon

Your partner doesn't find it triggers his dysphoria for you to even suggest he is capable of carrying a child?

Honestly, if I were with you we'd be over after that. Simply because you're alluding to the fact that there are "female" parts of him.

If he has said no then leave him alone about it.

Would I have a child? No, and Friday I ended all possibilities that could ever occur. Yay for sterility! lol  :laugh:
  •  

King Malachite

I would never consider myself getting pregnant.  Even if I wasn't transman, I still would not get pregnant.  I know that some guys don't mind but for me, no and I can't wait for the day when  I can officially become sterile. Btw Congrats, Simon :)
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
  •  

Devlyn

Quote from: Simon on December 18, 2012, 03:00:42 PM
Your partner doesn't find it triggers his dysphoria for you to even suggest he is capable of carrying a child?

Honestly, if I were with you we'd be over after that. Simply because you're alluding to the fact that there are "female" parts of him.

If he has said no then leave him alone about it.

Would I have a child? No, and Friday I ended all possibilities that could ever occur. Yay for sterility! lol  :laugh:
Because everyone has the same level of dysphoria, right?
  •  

Simon

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 18, 2012, 03:18:01 PM
Because everyone has the same level of dysphoria, right?

No, I didn't say that. It is a good question to ask though.

Don't start with me Devlyn. *shoots lazers at Devlyn from my cat's paws* pew pew pew.  :P :laugh:
  •  

Devlyn

<dodging laser beams> Just making sure you're behaving!
  •  

unknown



  •  

Nero

Quote from: simonr93 on December 18, 2012, 12:07:18 AM
Hey guys, just to give you a basis for this question... I'm a biomale who is pansexual, who loves every single body type (providing it's covering the right person). I have always wanted kids, and I've been with this transguy for over a year now and he's pretty adamant that even if he wanted kids he'd not have his own pregnancy. He'd want to adopt, which is great. There are a lot of kids out there who need to be looked after! But I like, don't think it would be for me, I would love to have a child of my own, I don't want to sound selfish or anything by saying that, I mean do I?

You don't sound selfish for saying it. Realize he probably feels the exact way. He may want biological children of his own as well. I do. It's one of the greatest sorrows of my life that I never will. Just because I have a womb does not mean this is any more of an option for me than it is for an XY guy. Like Sparrowhawke, I'd die first. And it doesn't mean I don't want my own biological kids who look like me. I'm deeply saddened I'll be the last to carry on my family name.

I also knew a guy who claimed he would love to get pregnant and have a child. I don't doubt the sincerity of his claim and I don't doubt yours. However, until you've grown up with it as a real "option" you can't truly know whether you could ever go through with it or not.

Certainly there are some ftms who have no problem with it. Thomas Beattie had so little problem with it he did it three times!  :laugh: And there are some ftms who had children long before transition. We are all different and don't have the same background, experiences, genetics or dysphoria levels. 

If your guy is as adamant as you say, he probably can't be swayed on this. The 'pregnancy' option could have been off the table since it first became physically possible for him.
If so, just understand it's probably not about how much he wants kids or how much he does or does not want your baby. It's probably just not an option. It's an issue wrapped up in identity, survival, and many other things.

Anyway, you sound like a really nice, accepting guy and you're not a dick for wondering. Best wishes to you and your guy!




Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
  •  

DeeperThanSwords

The idea of pregnancy freaked me out long before I knew I was trans, so no change there.
"Fear cuts deeper than swords."



  •  

androgynoid

Quote from: Arch on December 18, 2012, 02:38:03 AM
You're missing the "NONONONONO" option.

THIS. I'm not quite FtM, but the idea of being pregnant and giving birth freaked me out long before I knew I was trans. I had a small pregnancy scare a little while back, and it gave me massive anxiety even though I knew I would be able to easily take care of it had I been pregnant.
  •  

Siege

Even before ever thinking I was trans*, the thought of being pregnant and giving birth squicked me out. Still does.

And it's not so much the dysphoria it would trigger. It's much more a tokophobia.

But if I ever find someone that I would want to have children with (and that's a very big if, considering I don't really want children), I would rather foster or adopt.

  •  

simonr93

Quote from: Simon on December 18, 2012, 03:00:42 PM
Your partner doesn't find it triggers his dysphoria for you to even suggest he is capable of carrying a child?

Honestly, if I were with you we'd be over after that. Simply because you're alluding to the fact that there are "female" parts of him.

If he has said no then leave him alone about it.

Would I have a child? No, and Friday I ended all possibilities that could ever occur. Yay for sterility! lol  :laugh:

No, he doesn't. He accepts that he has women parts and uses them (sexually) still but he wants to be seen as a boy publicly and be addressed as such. As I said before I'd never ever force him to do anything he's uncomfortable with. I love him too much to even consider it. This was me just questioning how other people in his sort of situation felt about it. It wasn't a "hey help me convince him" type of thing at all. :)
  •  

DriftingCrow

There's a couple of transguys on here who's been pregnant and had their own children.

It's not entirely out of the picture for some transguys.

Me personally.... no, I can't ever see that happening.
ਮਨਿ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗੁ ਜੀਤੁ
  •  

Phoeniks

My relationship with pregnancy has been the occasional nightmares I had about it as a child, and family pressure about giving them a grandchild some day. It hasn't any connection to me in any other way, no strong dislike or anything. A nonexistent thing in my life. (Adoption I could possibly consider in the future, though.)
If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.
  •  

FullThrottleMalehem

I have no desire to have my own children, one reason being that I am male, I do not want to carry a child. I can only imagine what it would do to my dysphoria. I also just don't think I need to add more people to the world.
  •  

Shawn Sunshine

well there a lot of cisgender men who would like to experience being pregnant (but they may not admit it)

It may be something like this:

Shawn Sunshine Strickland The Strickalator

#SupergirlsForJustice
  •