Chest rant

[unknown]

I just saw someone comment about the chest just being extra fat. Please stop saying this. I have no fat and I repeat no fat on my chest. Does that mean I have a flat chest? No! I acutally wish I had that, because my binder doesn't work. When I had chest fat it did. Yes I bought a smaller one. It still doesn't work. Another thing is I can feel the tissue when I need to do something with my binder every time! It's not nice. It's one of the things that makes me want to kill myself.

Thank you.

[DriftingCrow]

Yes of course it's not just extra fat, because there's the milk ducts and lobules inside. I think sometimes breasts can get bigger if you have extra fat on your body, and if you loose body fat then they could get smaller.

http://www.bosomplus.com/breast_gr/female_health/other_info_gr.asp?pageID=breasts_anatomy

[Simon]

I just saw someone comment about the chest just being extra fat. Please stop saying this. I have no fat and I repeat no fat on my chest. Does that mean I have a flat chest? No!

I'm the one who said that. If you want to get technical breasts are compromised of glandular, fibrous and fatty tissue. In the center or core there is the lobulus and glandular tissues and the outside is fat. I never said if you had little fat on your body that you would have no chest. Your chest would be substantially smaller with a low BMI.

What is with the "this make me want to kill myself" crap I see floating around random posts? I know I may get stoned for saying this but some guys need to man up. Everything you're dealing with can be resolved. You will eventually have surgery. Getting down about two temporary lumps of tissue, fat, whatever is pointless. I understand dysphoria. Obviously I have it myself. I hate having to bind. It's uncomfortable, sweaty, inhibits my breathing, makes me not want to be hugged, etc. Basically it sucks but it is a temporary necessary evil. 

All I am saying is stop thinking this is the end of the world guys. Things are going to get better and things will change. Saying you want to kill yourself over something as trivial as squishing your chest until you have surgery is sad. Whining about things helps nothing. Be proactive and patient. Patience will take you far in life.

[peky]

I just saw someone comment about the chest just being extra fat. Please stop saying this. I have no fat and I repeat no fat on my chest. Does that mean I have a flat chest? No! I acutally wish I had that, because my binder doesn't work. When I had chest fat it did. Yes I bought a smaller one. It still doesn't work. Another thing is I can feel the tissue when I need to do something with my binder every time! It's not nice. It's one of the things that makes me want to kill myself.

Thank you.

I am so sorry for you dude, very understandable how you feel. Do not despair your time for top surgery to remove the offensive tissue will come.

Courage, OO

Peky

[DriftingCrow]

What is with the "this make me want to kill myself" crap I see floating around random posts? I know I may get stoned for saying this but some guys need to man up. Everything you're dealing with can be resolved. You will eventually have surgery. Getting down about two temporary lumps of tissue, fat, whatever is pointless. I understand dysphoria. Obviously I have it myself. I hate having to bind. It's uncomfortable, sweaty, inhibits my breathing, makes me not want to be hugged, etc. Basically it sucks but it is a temporary necessary evil. 

All I am saying is stop thinking this is the end of the world guys. Things are going to get better and things will change. Saying you want to kill yourself over something as trivial as squishing your chest until you have surgery is sad. Whining about things helps nothing. Be proactive and patient. Patience will take you far in life.

I completely agree with Simon here. I understand that it sucks having to bind and having to look down at your chest every day and see boobs there (yeah, and I know people here don't like saying "boobs" "breasts" etc. but whatever, it's weird to me that I have to almost watch myself on here to avoid using those words all the time beacuse it makes some people feel too uncomfortable), but I find it a little disturbing how often I see posts and comments about people wanting to kill themselves all the time because of dysphoria. Maybe I am lucky and my dysphoria isn't as bad, or maybe I've learned to deal with it better, but I just don't think it's something worth killing yourself over.

I just think that most people on this board are incredibly lucky, since most people here live in countries where it's completely possible to get T, get chest and bottom surgery, etc. We can live as trans and for the most part don't have to worry about getting killed or thrown in jail because of it. Just work hard, save your money, make smart investments, and you'll be able to get surgery one day. 

[spring0721]

I agree with learnedhand, I know it sucks right now but, it's temporary.  You will get through this, hopefully this severe bout of dysphoria will lessen soon.  Just try to think positively about ways to get you to your end goal( in this case saving for surgery).  You'll make it to that goal, I know you will! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time especially now at the holiday.

[DeeperThanSwords]

What Simon, LearnedHand and Spring said.

It's not fun, but it's also not the end of the world. Nobody here set out to offend, so try to give people the benefit of the doubt. It's healthier for you more than anyone else.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Suicide is not the way out, but I can understand the near constant suicidal feelings.  I deal with them a lot as well.  Just try to focus on the future and work towards what you can change.

[GentlemanRDP]

I understand your frustration, but even saying 'Please,' isn't going to get people to stop saying this.
In fact, I'm another of those people that refer to my so called 'breasts' as 'extra fat,' 'lumps,' 'tumors,' and other things that some people might consider offensive.
Frankly, it's silly to get offensive over something like this.
As trans folk, I think that ALL of us have heard or seen something MORE offensive than the way that we refer to the body parts that make us dysphoric.
Anytime that I've seen people on this forum being offended by a term like this, it's just a way for a person to cope with the part of their body that makes them uncomfortable.
I don't see why the member of the trans community can't be more accepting of that.
Frankly, I get offended when people tell me that I have breasts. I don't see them as breasts, and I will be damned if someone tells me that I do have them.

[unknown]

I can't get T in my country and I almost commited suicide because of it. I also can't get surgery there so I have to go to another country to get it.

[GentlemanRDP]

I'm sorry for what you've gone through.
I do hope that you don't seriously believe that suicide is the best way out - having a mother who attempted it dozens of times while I was a child, I can tell you that it is far from the best choice for anyone.
Have you gone to or considered going to a therapist?

[Simon]

In fact, I'm another of those people that refer to my so called 'breasts' as 'extra fat,' 'lumps,' 'tumors,' and other things that some people might consider offensive.

[DriftingCrow]

Love the video Simon.

I wonder if MFTs refer to their downstairs as "tumors"?

[Simon]

this translates to 'just snap out of it,' which is entirely inappropriate.  I'm not casting stones by any means, and you did say 'some guys' but I just felt this had to be said specifically.

I understand where you're coming from Liam but I am from the old school way of thinking. Coddling people gets them nowhere. I'm all for listening when someone has a bad day or is discriminated against. That is worthy of sympathy. What gets me is talks of suicide over things that you have the power to change. It takes awhile. Most of us are waiting for one surgery or another but we will get there. All of us have the potential to make it. I'd rather rally the troops and press someone forward than break out the box of tissues and have a pointless pity party. Chins up guys! Trans people need to start feeling empowered and less like victims.

[DriftingCrow]

There's a grey area for this argument.  For some people, you're spot-on and what they do need is a swift kick to get them up and at 'em again.  But a huge number of trans people are severely depressed (hence our 41% attempted suicide rate), and in that case, good intentions and all, this translates to 'just snap out of it,' which is entirely inappropriate.  I'm not casting stones by any means, and you did say 'some guys' but I just felt this had to be said specifically.

While some people do have severe depression, and should be seeing a therapist, I think sometimes people (I am not thinking of anyone specifically here, just people (trans or not) in general) just throw out "makes me want to kill myself" or other such wordings without thinking much about what they're saying. I think anything can become part of a pattern of speech and just flow out without much thought, I have a bad habit of saying "oh, I hate that...." when maybe I should really be saying "oh, I dislike that..." While it is perfectly acceptable to discuss ones feelings, and if someone actually is feeling suicidal they should be able to discuss their feelings on this board (as well as calling a therapist or one of the hotline numbers posted on the board), I think certain words/phrases should be more closely monitored by whomever is saying them. Any mention of suicide on this board should be taken seriously. Maybe I am just paranoid, but I just remember seeing various news stories of people who've been on forums or chat rooms and mentioned suicide, and no one called anyone about the person's suicidal intentions or feelings, and then the person goes and kills themselves later on, and investigators go on-line and see that they posted all over the place "I hate life," "I am going to swallow pills tomorrow" etc.

I think some of the comments I have seen posted in various places on the board and other places on the internet would be better stated "X makes me really hate my body". While some people who have mentioned suicide do actually seem suicidal and extremely depressed, I think unless you truly feel that way, mention of suicide should be avoided. Mentioning it all over the place in a casual way seems to take away from the gravity of what suicide really is. 

(I just wanted to note again that I am not saying the original poster here doesn't feel suicidal, if he does then by all means, discuss your feelings with the board here and a therapist. I am not a mind-reader. I just feel concern about using such strong words/phrases in a casual way)

[Emily Aster]

I wonder if MFTs refer to their downstairs as "tumors"?

Can't say I've ever referred to it as a tumor, but I have wished it would just fall off.

[GentlemanRDP]

I'm fully aware that they aren't (But I'm sorry, but I'm going to refer to them the way that I want to)
I'm just saying, it's not uncommon for FtMs to use this terminology - I have heard of plenty of others saying it as well.
It's a coping mechanism, it's a way for us to stomach having these obtrusions on our bodies until we can get rid of them.
But that's beside the point, I suppose.

[Simon]

I'm fully aware that they aren't (But I'm sorry, but I'm going to refer to them the way that I want to)
I'm just saying, it's not uncommon for FtMs to use this terminology - I have heard of plenty of others saying it as well.
It's a coping mechanism, it's a way for us to stomach having these obtrusions on our bodies until we can get rid of them.
But that's beside the point, I suppose.

Yeah, whine whatever way you will. That is all it boils down to. Call your breasts whatever you want. At the end of the day they're still just boobs.

[wheat thins are delicious]

There's a grey area for this argument.  For some people, you're spot-on and what they do need is a swift kick to get them up and at 'em again.  But a huge number of trans people are severely depressed (hence our 41% attempted suicide rate), and in that case, good intentions and all, this translates to 'just snap out of it,' which is entirely inappropriate.  I'm not casting stones by any means, and you did say 'some guys' but I just felt this had to be said specifically.

Thank you for saying this.

[Phoeniks]

Yeah, whine whatever way you will. That is all it boils down to. Call your breasts whatever you want. At the end of the day they're still just boobs.

Well that's just harsh, dude. People have the right to call their body parts with whatever names they want to. Especially if that makes them feel better. I don't think anyone here needs others telling them "well, in the end you just have boobs".