Sending off the Letter

[Jennifer.L]

So, most of you have read atleast one of my stressed out, wanna cry posts, about coming out to work.

So I'll keep it short.  I work in, like so many of us, an ultra male profession.  I work on oil rigs out in the middle of the ocean.  90% male crew.  and we often have to share room and or bathrooms.

My worries range form the highly unlikely, assault.  To the certain, Harassment.  Basicly the only thing I don't think I can handle is if they try to fire me, or whats called "Starving Out"  witch is where they jsut don't give you any work.  very easy to do and very hard to prove.  The only thing I have going for me is I am VERY good.  and have VERY thick skin. 


Anyhow I'm using a copy of the Coming Out letter from one of the Susan's Guides.  And sending these pictures.  I'm timing it so that I'll have about a week left on the job when they get the letter.  that way they have time to think, then call me in on my way home.  I live 6 hours from the office.  you only go there a few times a year,

So I think I need all the hugs and support I can get.  cause I'm so scared I'm calling relatives in the middle of the night.  But you know how it is.  I jsut can't NOT do this either.  and I love my work. I meam LOVE love my work.  like you can do jobs for years then one day your doing this one thing and your like WOW  This is something I'm god at AND I like.    FRRRRIIIIICCCKKKKKKKKK

[Cindy]

I thought you had sent a letter before? How did they react to that Hon?

You are very good looking BTW

Hugs
Cindy

[Jennifer.L]

Oh I sent an anonymous E-mail.  but I think it was getting bounced.  This ones going to be a hard copy, going out on the 9th.  Right now I'm at home, but I go out a few days.  I jsut don't know if they are gonna do something crazzzyyyyy

[Cindy]

OK got you. Now I remember it was an email, I kept meaning to catch up and see how it went.

So you are going out to the rigs FT? Is that the idea?

[Elsa]

Wish you all the best and I do hope things work out.

Do keep us posted on how it goes.

[Rena-san]

First off, best of luck to you. Remember to stay strong.

My question is, are there any other females that you work with or that are in that profession? Could you talk to one of them? They will be able to help you way more than you might imagine. Just approach one and say, "hey, I know we don't know eachother too well, but there is something I want to talk to you about that is bugging me, but you gotta keep it confidential, ok?"

This is what I would do in your place, in fact, that is what I did--of course I was in a data entry office, not an oil rig.

If there is a female at your place you can talk with I would do this before sending out a letter.
Alea iacta est is always nice to say, but sometimes you end up wishing you wouldn't have cast the dice--or that it would have at least fallen in your favor.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I hope for the very best for you, Jennifer.  It will be interesting to see how they react.  Plan for the worst and hope for the best was the best thing I did went I came out at work.  Even though it was not ultra-man, retail, it still could have been bad.  But I was lucky in that I was not the first in my district and everything went off without a hitch.

[Jennifer.L]

So the first letter went out on the 7th and the second on the 11th.   they should hit any time now.   On a related note, I'm having nightmares every single night.

[Nero]

Keep us posted.

Kinda curious about your work. You say you love it and you're doing something out in the middle of the ocean. Are you on freighters?

BTW the pics are very nice. Did you go from blond to red or is just the avatar pic? (I seem to have that problem as of late)

[Felix]

You look beautiful and I hope it goes well. Not all of us work in male-dominated professions btw.

If they are at all mean to you it isn't any failing of yours, please remember that.

I'm sorry you have nightmares. I have a lot of those too and they can wreck a good outlook so be careful. How you feel is as important as how others see you so it might help you to hang onto whatever thoughts make you feel good about yourself. Sometimes I forget that part when I'm stressed about others' judgement.

[Jennifer.L]

Ok I'm freaking out again.  I'm to damn needy.  but I need another pat on the back.   The short is that I sent my Letter off 10 days ago.  so I'm 99% sure they have it by now.  I haven't been contacted, so I think they are taking me seriously.  I jsut really can't KNOW what has happened.  So I am going nuts.  Today I sent off a digital copy of the packet to the HR director in the Huston Corporate office.  I'm worried because silence can mean ANYTHING.  and I had to do SOMETHING.  and I'm to scared to call. 

In 3 days I get off this ship, so I HAVE to stop in at the local HR office.  The one I sent the hard copy letter to.

The smarts part of my brain tells me that sending it all off agian in an e-mail was pointless, possibly less then optimal.  but Emotionaly I had to do SOMETHING.

So I need a hug agian.  I'm sorry I'm such a needy pain

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Good gods, Jennifer.  You are a major needy pain.  So there is only one thing to do.

[JessicaH]

OMG, I don't know how you can take it. Knowing where you work and being in such closely related field (I know you see my company logo regularly) it makes my heart skip a beat thinking about it. It hits very close to home and I have had nightmares for over two years about doing what you just did.  After two years on HRT and still moving toward transition, I'm going to either have to tell them sometime or get outed one way or another.

[Jennifer.L]

I GOT A REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy crap my heart dropped out and the boys are right across the room and I had to keep a strait face!




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Hi Jeremy,

Thank you for your e-mail.  Duane Lodrigue, the HR Manager in Morgan City, is part of my team and we work closely together.  He received the packages and will be reaching out to you.  Chances are that Duane will be your primary contact going forward because he is local, which helps you both.

I'm glad that you reached out to us.  Rest assured that we are both care about your situation. 

Have a good weekend!

Kind Regards,

*********
HR Director


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[JessicaH]

Wow.  That sounds like a very positive first response!  I'm so happy for you!!!!

[JulieC.]

That does sound like a positive response.  If they do try to discriminate against you it will likely be more clandestine.  Give you the worst jobs or not much work in hopes you'll quit.  I really hope that is not the case.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you'll have nothing but a positive experience.  Cause when you said you work in a male dominated field....Well I think you work in the most male dominated field possible.  And if it can work for you then it could certainly work for me.

[Jennifer.L]

I hope they don't do that.

[Jamie D]

Jennifer, I wish you the best of luck.  Many years ago I worked for the old Global Marine company, both offshore and in their former Los Angeles headquarters.  I completely understand your concerns.

[Felix]

I know you aren't automatically on easy street now, but congratulations on getting a kind response. That's exciting.