So my trans partner and I both sort of decided to start transitioning together, which I've mostly been thankful for. Its nice to have someone to go through this with. We are both pre-everything at the moment, but we also both made appointments to see a gender therapist at the same clinic, however I made my appointment about 2 weeks before they did. I was told there would be 6 to 8 month wait list, which is something I was prepared for, no big deal. My partner calls the clinic 2 weeks later, and lo and behold, the next week roles around, and they have an appointment. : / Now I know I should be happy for them, but I can't help but feel this horrible helpless jealousy kick up in my guts. I just don't understand how a therapy clinic can arbitrarily advance people in their queue. I want to talk it over with them, but every time I think about it I get so upset and my thoughts get so chaotic, and it makes no sense. I just keep thinking in my head 'what makes me less important?' I would understand if people who were in crisis were put before me in the list, but someone who is in a stable condition? Maybe its because of seeing my family at Christmas, but I've been just so caught up wishing I could actually talk to someone about making some progress. I hate how upset this makes me, I just feel so selfish, but I can't turn it off.
Guh, sorry for the glum ranting I just wanted to get this off my chest.
Im going in to clinic tomorrow/today to try and ask them what the deal is, so hopefully I can work this out instead of just moaning about it, haha.
