Just told my guy I'm Post Op TG

[O_O]

I understand what everyone is saying, I don't deserve this. It's just that sometimes I feel like I can't really have those standards because he could go for a cisgirl in a second. And I know there are cisgirls out there who are into him, I've met them and it was pretty obvious.

Have you considered realizing your inner Cis girl?

Let go of your attachments or you will become their slave.

I can just imagine this guy stringing you along, treating you like dirt because he can always threaten to leave you.

I know most people have a difficult time with the things I say.  A woman isn't a Cis vag, a woman is a human being, start treating yourself like the woman you are and stop being a substitute for a "real" girl.

If you don't believe in you then no one else will, and then seeking "acceptance" will become your personal Hell.

Anyone who tells you you aren't a real woman isn't an actual human being.  Unless you are the one telling everyone you aren't a real girl, then it isn't really their fault.  If you advertise yourself as soiled merchandise people will treat you like soiled merchandise. 

[sneakersjay]

I made that mistake once, too.  So I'd not tell unless it is a really serious relationship.  Date and have fun.  Have (safe) sex and have fun. When you meet 'the one' I'd be more inclined to tell, but not until you know for sure.

I wish there were a way we never had to tell, but the way life is, it is better that your significant other hear it from your lips and not some well-meaning friend or relative.

I told my SO on the third date as it was obvious that he was very interested (as was I) but wanted to get it out there before any physical stuff happened.  It was a non-issue.  Until then I couldn't allow myself to get excited, because I knew telling could end it.

As far as not telling others, I have told him that NO ONE will be told, and I will deny it to my death, LOL.  ie he can't tell his family and friends. So far, nobody can 'tell.'



Jay

[Annah]

I made that mistake once, too.  So I'd not tell unless it is a really serious relationship.  Date and have fun.  Have (safe) sex and have fun. When you meet 'the one' I'd be more inclined to tell, but not until you know for sure.

I wish there were a way we never had to tell, but the way life is, it is better that your significant other hear it from your lips and not some well-meaning friend or relative.

I told my SO on the third date as it was obvious that he was very interested (as was I) but wanted to get it out there before any physical stuff happened.  It was a non-issue.  Until then I couldn't allow myself to get excited, because I knew telling could end it.

As far as not telling others, I have told him that NO ONE will be told, and I will deny it to my death, LOL.  ie he can't tell his family and friends. So far, nobody can 'tell.'



Jay

thats a very wise practice

i tell the guys i start to get serious with too. Its better that way. Trying to hide, tell family members to lie for your past and friends and everyone else in between is not a good way to foster a healthy relationship

if the person you like walks away when you tell them near the beginning is better and you know what they are like before anything gets serious

[Stephe]

I can just imagine this guy stringing you along, treating you like dirt because he can always threaten to leave you.

And what difference does it make if a woman is cis or trans? Men "make demands" and women do as well. This statement has nothing to do with someone's gender status. The above can be true in any relationship. If he is "treating her like dirt" for any reason, she should dump him. Guys can always threaten to leave you over anything.

Now if he explains things that would be "deal breakers", nothing wrong with that. I can understand him saying "You really have to pass whenever we go out" as a reasonable request. And how is that request any different than if she was doing it your way and was stealth? She would have to pass 100% of the time anyway.

My deal breaker is if I find out my partner has lied to me about anything after we got serious. I don't know many relationships that weather that very well.