Is it paranoia when you know they know? Lucky for me I never had guy friends who were sports nuts. Though I could never understand why some of my girlfriends would put up with guys that were. So much so that when a group of us were together, he or they had to seperate himself to see some idiot game. Like, we are not talking football or baseball either.
My basic advice for you is that you have plenty of other things to fret over, don't get too paranoid over a game where anyone getting those guestions will get the same treatment as you did.
My wife always pegged me as a cross-dresser. While way back when we first dated we did talk a little about me, I was far from one wanting to talk about me. I glossed over some facts but basically told her the high points of me "experimenting" twice before her with transition. Only to finally resign myself to giving "normal" a shot with the occassional escape as needed.
She does have a great deal of first hand knowledge on the subject since she is MTF. This first hand knowledge makes it ALL the harder to talk at times since she has seen a lot over the years being a TG comming of age in NYC back in the 70-80's. We've had our share of up's and down's over the past 3 years. Especially, putting the trans stuff aside, having to deal with her hot button issue of betrayal. Especially since twice when you were young and very stupid you tossed her aside in search of being "Normal". Even more especially after she attended one of my TG meetings becomming very jealous of one woman, also an EE.
So much goes unsaid between us. She knows all too well my pain, my turmoil. I worked hard for a good 30 years to be normal. Still basically wish I can be. Just curling up with my Teddie Bear, almost crying, this past week started an anxiety attack for her. She knows all too well. Our lives are so intertwined, tacit agreements made, let alone the overt responsibilities I sign on for with her.
Word vomits for me are very critical in nature. Usually just short of looking for that bridge abutment at 90 MPH on the interstate. Over the past about 4 years now I don't have a challenging job to keep me preoccupied. I deal most days with a bunch of (expletatives deleted) that can't design their way out of a paper bag since having to work for the military industrial complex vs the way cool commercial stuff I did. I hate my job. Hate my life more than ever. Been in a major funk for the past year almost seeing no hope or change ever occuring without complete total disaster. Which BTW pretty sums up my entire life, a complete disaster aside from work and my wife. Between having lost my previous job and dealing with the trans issues, I have no real job to define me and have nearly lost my wife.
Perhaps it is the ruination of one marriage, followed by the abrupt end of an engement, while being a romantic compells me to say communication is crucial. I never fell in love with a woman who wasn't at first my best friend and confidant... to most things. I learned a hard lesson with wife #1. After that I fessed up. Not always with great results but something I needed to do. After all, If I cannot talk to the one person in my life that means everything to me, who can I talk to?
There never is a good time to spill the beans. No matter what variety they are. My wife and I have both been through some big hardships as a result of us spilling our guts. So far we're still together and have a stronger relationship than ever. Once we got through the vomiting.
