What are your thoughts on a bisexual person being able to marry 2 people?

[Padma]

Legal agreements =/= Marriage

...and at least half the time, "Marriage" =/= Marriage

[Kevin Peña]

The way I feel about a bisexual person marrying two people is the same as a straight/gay/etc person marrying two people -- it is theoretically possible for someone to have a functional relationship in this way, but the legal institution (with the property sharing and next-of-kin rights presently implied in Western societies) is incompatible with such a notion (who gets medical visitation, who inherits an estate by default, etc?)  Making legal polygamy work out would require a new/different type of legal marriage contract, in particular one that confers fewer rights to partners (so you don't have several spouses fighting over medical decisions a person can't make for themselves.)

A legal system for polygamy...



Earliest living spouse gets highest priority for medical decisions? 

[Shawn Sunshine]

Well My one cousins wife is bisexual, and they are committed to each other, but from what i understand she will occasionally have a fling with a woman, and he knows about it as well.

I know that some bisexual folks decide one partner is enough and don't date or have sex with anyone else. I guess this would be fine for some, but not others.

[Elspeth]

The thing with this kind of stuff right, and I am not even religious here so bear this in mind. Marriage is a religious institution, it is clearly defined. If you want to break the rules of marriage and have more than one wife or husband then why do you want to get married. In doing this it is by definition not a legitimate marriage.

These things it is clear in the definition of the religious ceremony what it is. If you do it differently it is not what you want it to be and you have by definition now engaged in something different.

This really is not clear. I hate bringing up Mormonism again and again, but it is relevant to this particular claim.

Even though the "mainstream" branch of Mormonism stopped practicing polygamy in the late 1800s, mainly as a condition of seeking statehood for Utah, in terms of their religious doctrine, most Mormons I grew up with, at least, were taught that it would someday be reinstated, and that some way or another, just like Mormons do baptisms for the dead, those who lived in times when there was no legal way for them to practice polygamy would get their chance in the afterlife, where being in an eternal, polygamous relationship is still the only way to get to the highest rung in their funky version of heaven.

Polygamy, in any case, most certainly IS a religious concept in some religions, and often a central one. 97 virgins, anyone?

[LilDevilOfPrada]

Well My one cousins wife is bisexual, and they are committed to each other, but from what i understand she will occasionally have a fling with a woman, and he knows about it as well.

I know that some bisexual folks decide one partner is enough and don't date or have sex with anyone else. I guess this would be fine for some, but not others.

What makes a bisexual different from a normal person? Your cousins wife having flings with women has nothing to do with the fact she is bisexual.

Think of how mamy straight people have flings even when they are comitted to their partners.

A persons sexuality has nothing to do with polgamy its purely a personal choice decided by a person not programmed into them because they bisexual and choose to ingore their polgamy desires.

Look if I am misunderstanding what you are saying then I am sorry however to me it sounds like you are saying Bisexuals are built for polgamy.

So yea I say its not a personals sexuailty its their on multi-lover desire and personal choice that makes them go into polgamy.

[Shawn Sunshine]

yes you are misunderstanding what I am saying, this is about whether or not a person should be able to be legally married to 2 or more people.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

yes you are misunderstanding what I am saying, this is about whether or not a person should be able to be legally married to 2 or more people.

Oh lol I was just referring to your 1 post anyways sorry about that,
Well I believe they should why not allow people to live how they want to.

[crazy at the coast]

I'm just wondering when I can marry my dog. We love each other very much, you know.


*by the way, it is not sexual, just a commitment to be there for each other, I'm not a dog diddler!*

[Elspeth]

Look if I am misunderstanding what you are saying then I am sorry however to me it sounds like you are saying Bisexuals are built for polgamy.

Not saying this to be snarky, but, while I can see how this might work for a bisexual woman (one who does want some kind of open relationship, or at least wants a partner of each sex) I don't see where it would be "built for" a biological male. At least if we are using the standard definition of polygamy, which tends to only feature multiple wives, not multiple husbands in a marriage. Polyandry would (perhaps) be built for those, but it's far less common in practice. Not saying that shouldn't change. Just saying I don't really see polygamy as having all that much to do with bisexuality. Others have already pointed out that not every bisexual person wants to have multiple partners, either at the same time or in serial relationships.

[spring0721]

I say to each his/her own, everyone has to live their life to be happy with themselves, so as long as all parties involved agree with the 'arrangement' I say go for it. For me PERSONALLY, I would never be able to be in a relationship with more than one person at a time, nor could I share my significant other....I think this would cause jealousies that wouldn't normally have to be there if it were a monogamous relationship.  So just for me it wouldn't work...not saying it can't work for other people.

[Kevin Peña]

I think this would cause jealousies that wouldn't normally have to be there if it were a monogamous relationship. 

Tell me about it. I could probably have purely sexual relationships with more than one person at a time, but I couldn't share my spouse.

I can hear it now. "B****, he's mine!" *Hair pulling* 

[tgchar21]

I'm just wondering when I can marry my dog. We love each other very much, you know.

Or how about marrying a corporation? You know, thanks to the Citizens United SCOTUS case they're people too! (You can do a search on YouTube to find some videos of people trying to do that.)

[Sarah Louise]

Personally I don't understand the reason for the question.

Its illegal to have more than one spouse at a time.

[Kevin Peña]

Personally I don't understand the reason for the question.

Its illegal to have more than one spouse at a time.

Well, so's smoking marijuana, but people have opinions on that too. 

[Elsa]

Well if you're keeping secrets from your partner/s and having more than one partner/s is wrong.

It's also wrong if your partner is monogamous and if he/she is forced into being in a polygamy, because of a descision that the other person/s in a relationship make.

Also why can't women be ones with multiple guys or guys and girls in a relationship with them.

It usually just doesn't work.

[Kevin Peña]

Also why can't women be ones with multiple guys or guys and girls in a relationship with them.

It usually just doesn't work.

Aren't women allowed to have multiple men in poly relationships?
Plus, I don't think anyone knows enough polygamist people to know whether or not those relationships work. However, I'm sure we've all seen plenty of failed monogamous relationships.

[Elsa]

no I meant that I don't think most polygamous relationships work because of a lot of emotions that could get involved

it would take a seriously huge amount of dedication and trust to make it work and this usually tests the mental and emotional strength for a lot of those who try it.

I tried convincing myself that I am polygamous but it turns out I'm not.

sorry for typos - posted this from phone

[Elspeth]

Aren't women allowed to have multiple men in poly relationships?
Plus, I don't think anyone knows enough polygamist people to know whether or not those relationships work. However, I'm sure we've all seen plenty of failed monogamous relationships.

They don't generally wear special hats or costumes. How do you know you don't know enough of them? Problem really seems to be that many of them are unlikely to be open with just anyone about this, due to the legal issues and social bias.

Maybe my perspective is just odd, though, since my mom was a huge people watcher and made a point of trying to figure out who were the closeted polygamists in town.

In my son's circle of friends (and he was raised far from Mormon communities where covert polygamy is pretty common) he has expressed an interest, and in his mind has practiced polyamory. I've also had various friends over time who've been open to me about having various open marriages where polyamory was part of what they were about (with varying degrees of success, but I can't say they were any less successful than those I might only have assumed were monogamous. It's a lot more common than I think you may be imagining.

Especially if you factor in how common serial monogamy is as a legal way of expressing the desire to change partners, the commonplace nature of adultery in all its forms and the popularity of a non-safe, non-sane, non-consensual fantasy like 50 Shades of Grey?

I'm pretty sure I'm the freak for still being attached to my own fantasies about a forever monogamous relationship with one person. I know it hasn't done me any favors when it comes to dealing with reality.

[Kevin Peña]

They don't generally wear special hats or costumes. How do you know you don't know enough of them? Problem really seems to be that many of them are unlikely to be open with just anyone about this, due to the legal issues and social bias.

Maybe my perspective is just odd, though, since my mom was a huge people watcher and made a point of trying to figure out who were the closeted polygamists in town.

I'm pretty sure I'm the freak for still being attached to my own fantasies about a forever monogamous relationship with one person. I know it hasn't done me any favors when it comes to dealing with reality.

I know you can't tell a polygamist by looking at one. Regardless of your "people watching" skills, you don't know who's what. Thus, since polygamists aren't numerously open, you can't tell whether most of them have failed relationships and we have to operate as though we don't know enough polygamists to talk about them from a statistical standpoint. We do, however, have statistics of divorce rates and spousal abuse in monogamous relationships, i.e, failed monogamous marriages.

PS--> You're not a freak for wanting a monogamous relationship. It's perfectly fine to want one. 

[RedFox]

Well, I'm bisexual and I've been in plenty of long-term monogamous relationships - and I've never cheated on my partners.  But in all honesty I would prefer to be in a polygamous relationship with both a man and a woman.

However, the only way that a poly relationship would really work is if there is plenty of open and honest communication amongst mature adults that can let go of jealousy.  Having a third person that's fully trusted and loved by the other two means that when arguments erupt that there should always be a mediator to help work things out.  And it's everyone's responsibility to ensure that no one is excluded.  This doesn't mean that two people couldn't have time alone - only that it's done with the knowledge and consent of the third person.

As for ""group marriage" between three or more people - Robert Heinlein wrote about this is more than a few of his novels and I really liked the concept of everyone contributing to a common family during their time in the "marriage".  That means everyone contributes financially and otherwise to the common good.  Anyone is free to leave when they want to and members could come and go - (ie divorce as in normal marriages).  Children are raised by all the adults.

Here's a wiki on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_marriage