Looked up the Big Brother program - don't qualify because I'm poor/in a bind

[FullThrottleMalehem]

I was incredibly depressed and even angry to discover I don't qualify for the Big Brother program. All because I'm too poor to ever afford "top" surgery, also admittedly scared because it is an invasive surgery and all invasive surgeries carry risk and I was born with a hole in my heart. Also because I'm in a bind about getting on T not only due to cost and no access to a trans friendly doctor in this small, cis, heteronormative area which I also can't afford to move from, and because of relatives. Both my partner and I have disabilities, and if my partner's family finds out I'm trans he may no longer be able to get any medical care he needs. So I'm really screwed on that front.

I realize they are trying to keep people from scamming them. Still I find it crappy that I don't qualify because I can't afford to get medical treatment soon, as they put it, despite meeting other qualifications based on income and living situation, and being trans and not just butch/genderfluid/etc.

[aleon515]

They are also very unfriendly to non-binary people/genderqueer people who may have significant chest dysphoria. I am not giving any binders to them.

http://www.inabind.transactiveonline.org/get.php
This program has binders for people under 21.

If you are older you might tell what you are looking for. Someone here might have something.

If you are older you might contact inabind, and see if they could help you.


--Jay

[Nero]

I was incredibly depressed and even angry to discover I don't qualify for the Big Brother program. All because I'm too poor to ever afford "top" surgery, also admittedly scared because it is an invasive surgery and all invasive surgeries carry risk and I was born with a hole in my heart. Also because I'm in a bind about getting on T not only due to cost and no access to a trans friendly doctor in this small, cis, heteronormative area which I also can't afford to move from, and because of relatives. Both my partner and I have disabilities, and if my partner's family finds out I'm trans he may no longer be able to get any medical care he needs. So I'm really screwed on that front.

I realize they are trying to keep people from scamming them. Still I find it crappy that I don't qualify because I can't afford to get medical treatment soon, as they put it, despite meeting other qualifications based on income and living situation, and being trans and not just butch/genderfluid/etc.

Are sure about this? I don't remember reading anything in the requirements about having to have top surgery scheduled. It would seem like the guys for whom top surgery is a long way off would be more in need. The point of the program is to help guys in need. I mean, seriously if a guy can't even afford a $30-40 dollar binder (I think that was Underwork's price back when I got them), makes perfect sense top surgery isn't close on the horizon. Or even T at that.

[Damian]

Yeah, also Replace the Ace I personally like better. Though the downside to all of these charities is the waiting list.

[CursedFireDean]

You don't qualify BECAUSE you don't have enough money to transition?
Well that's completely backwards! 

EDIT-
After going to their site and reading stuff... I'm a bit appalled
I understand that there's a high demand and all... but really, some of those guidelines rub me the wrong way.

1. if you're an A cup or smaller, you don't qualify.
Because supposedly you can wear several tight T-shirts and bind nicely. Um. I think an A is a little bigger than they might think...  granted as an A myself, I CAN bind enough to sometimes pass with a tight sports bra but not nearly to a degree I'm happy with. Just because someone has an A doesn't mean they can bind easily/acceptably. 

2. If you're in college and still registered as female, you don't qualify.
What even is that reasoning? If someone knows, I'd love an explanation.

[Nero]

You don't qualify BECAUSE you don't have enough money to transition?
Well that's completely backwards! 

EDIT-
After going to their site and reading stuff... I'm a bit appalled
I understand that there's a high demand and all... but really, some of those guidelines rub me the wrong way.

1. if you're an A cup or smaller, you don't qualify.
Because supposedly you can wear several tight T-shirts and bind nicely. Um. I think an A is a little bigger than they might think...  granted as an A myself, I CAN bind enough to sometimes pass with a tight sports bra but not nearly to a degree I'm happy with. Just because someone has an A doesn't mean they can bind easily/acceptably. 

2. If you're in college and still registered as female, you don't qualify.
What even is that reasoning? If someone knows, I'd love an explanation.

Hmm yeah I think most guys bigger than that just assume A= flat chested. But they're not taking into account different builds and things. My cousin is probably only a B but hers look like a DD on her tiny frame. You'd also think they'd have donated binders in that size.

I don't get the registered as female at college bit either. It sounds as though they want you to be pretty much transitioned already - paperwork changed, top surgery planned out, etc. Doesn't make any sense. You'd think guys just starting out would need the most assistance.

I get that the dude's providing a service and has the right to refuse anyone. It's just kinda sad. Wish we could get something like this together here.

[aleon515]

Yikes I read all the qualifiers. I would think that giving binders to people with A cups would prevent binding with ace bandages and duct tape. And not being out in college-- perhaps this is a really fragile guy with an unsupportive family. Yeah he's got a right to all these qualifiers, but I agree it's sad.

BTW, there are a lot of complaints about this elsewhere.

--Jay

[FullThrottleMalehem]

I will look up the other programs, thank you. I'm over 21 so unfortunately do not qualify for the one. Or just wait and see if my financial situation improves at some point. Not likely due to disabilities though.

From their website:

"This program is for TG/TS men who live their lives full-time as men, are undergoing or soon will undergo hormonal therapy, will soon have breast removable "top surgery""
I guess I also don't qualify because I literally can't come out to certain family for fear of either me or my partner becoming homeless. Does that mean I don't "live full time as a man", even though I wear male clothes, refer to myself as male, and have been TRYING to come out to my friends and family that are safe to come out to? Even if they refuse to listen.

"If you are below a B Cup or your measurements are within 2 inches of each other, you do not need a binder. You may think you need one but it is not a supportive qualification."
Wow, that is a really nasty thing to say "you may think you need one but". What if someone is a "large" A, bordering B cup, or what if they have a tiny frame and say a 38 - 42 A? I'm a B, but I've seen A cups that are almost B's and still noticeable as breasts that would still need to bind, especially if wearing anything that isn't baggy.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I agree he could be less harsh, but think of all the bull he's had to put up with since he started the program, 12 years ago.

[Jeatyn]

Something must have happened to make this guy change his rules because it wasn't this strict when I got my first binder from him - around 4 years ago. I was obviously way off T or surgery back then and had only just come out to family and friends.

It makes me sad that everyone seems to be really angry with him now because he really helped me out when I was younger, he even included some money in the package to refund me my postage because he shipped it a day later than he said he would.

[Nero]

Something must have happened to make this guy change his rules because it wasn't this strict when I got my first binder from him - around 4 years ago. I was obviously way off T or surgery back then and had only just come out to family and friends.

It makes me sad that everyone seems to be really angry with him now because he really helped me out when I was younger, he even included some money in the package to refund me my postage because he shipped it a day later than he said he would.

Well, not angry with him per se. Just a bit dismayed. It seems like he's cutting out a large section of guys in need.

[Jayr]

He probably can't even provide for every guy that fits in that small section.
So whether he's cutting a large section of guys in need or not, don't matter much.
Majority wouldn't get a binder anyway.

I prob don't fit his requirements; but I'm still grateful someone out there is trying to help out.

[CursedFireDean]

Yeah, I'm not angry at him per se, but I think it's stupid that there must have been someone out there who made him feel these qualifications were needed. It's a great idea for a program and it's great that it's there, I just am a little disappointed that it leaves out so many guys.

[aleon515]

He probably can't even provide for every guy that fits in that small section.
So whether he's cutting a large section of guys in need or not, don't matter much.
Majority wouldn't get a binder anyway.

I prob don't fit his requirements; but I'm still grateful someone out there is trying to help out.

Yeah that occurred to me as well. He doesn't have any source of funding or anything. I get the idea that *maybe* underworks provides a VERY small selection. So he is not able to provide this for a small group. He cuts out more people this way by restricting his population (like inthebind does by making it just for kids). That way he is more likely to be able to actually give out binders.

Perhaps he actually has had a bad experience or something.


--Jay

[Felix]

They are also very unfriendly to non-binary people/genderqueer people who may have significant chest dysphoria. I am not giving any binders to them.

http://www.inabind.transactiveonline.org/get.php
This program has binders for people under 21.

If you are older you might tell what you are looking for. Someone here might have something.

If you are older you might contact inabind, and see if they could help you.


--Jay

I volunteer for local organizations and I won't give binders to Transactive myself. I find their gatekeeping pretty offensive.

The people who run these programs are just people. There's not a lot of trustworthy organized help out there and the programs that exist are overburdened and unregulated.

FullThrottle if you still are struggling with this I'm small-chested and might could send something if you want to email me about it.

[FullThrottleMalehem]

Thank you Felix. I'm willing to pay some, I just rarely have the amount needed for a new one plus shipping after my everyday life expenses are paid for. I'll have to take my chest measurements.

[aleon515]

I volunteer for local organizations and I won't give binders to Transactive myself. I find their gatekeeping pretty offensive.

Thanks for this info Felix. Actually I give to the local group here. There is zero gatekeeping. Want a binder. Go in and chose one. No money, no forms, no financial need or anything.

--Jay

[Felix]

Thanks for this info Felix. Actually I give to the local group here. There is zero gatekeeping. Want a binder. Go in and chose one. No money, no forms, no financial need or anything.

--Jay

Dude if you're here feel free to come talk to me. I'm not gonna decide they're doing the right thing just because you didn't have to fill out paperwork.

[aleon515]

Dude if you're here feel free to come talk to me. I'm not gonna decide they're doing the right thing just because you didn't have to fill out paperwork.

Well the group here is NOT doing what would primarily be binder exchange. What it is doing is that is one type of clothing they will give away. A little like a thrift store. They esp. look for clothes that help people in transition. (So smaller male sizes and bigger female sizes.) So like a thrift store, you give them your clothes and you can take them.

--Jay

[Zerro]

I got my first binder from his program when I was still a minor and early into my transition. He was very kind to my mother and I, and I've donated some of my old, but wearable binders to him. He doesn't have access to a full outlet. A lot of his 'stock' comes from donations, and well, not many people donate. As far as I know, the restrictions were made tighter because of some problems he faced from folks trying to take advantage of the program.

It's sad that he's had to create a stronger gatekeeping system, though.