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MTF in need of help

Started by Rachel, January 11, 2013, 10:02:26 PM

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carrie359

Well for sure its not a way to treat or diagnose..  you measure from the tip of the finger to the fold on your palm where your finger bends.. that is a proper way to measure.. 
But they do say women with longer ring finger are more aggressive and men with equal or longer index can be more passive or gay...
I don't think it matters one way or another ........my wife's match mine and I cry more watching tv that she does.. try to hid it but I get caught...
Carrie
  •  

KabitTarah

Well... looks like I was measuring wrong, the last time I checked. I just measured now and they hit 75/77mm or 0.974. I'm not sure how much I trust this test when the mean ratio between men and women is off by ~0.02 and the standard deviation is about 0.03. Plus, it's this danged hard to measure them accurately! Unless you're a statistical outlier... (>1.005 MAAB & <0.931 FAAB)... I don't see value in it.

per wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digit_ratio
Sorry for jumping on this thread - I saw what the discussion was about and got interested!
~ Tarah ~

  •  

Rachel




Below is a reference. My Mom had 2 children prior to me and thought she had cancer and was in a panic and had extreme stress the 1st 5 months of her pregnancy with me. I guess the androgens were blocked from my brain receptors. My ring finger on both hands are way shorter then the index. 




A link to your femininity or masculinity: Check Your Finger Length!


In women, the index and ring finger are roughly equal in length. But in most men, the ring finger is longer. That's a result of fetal exposure to testosterone.

My 13 year old nephew, while staying with us over the summer, brought up a fact that he had heard and then read about. Apparently, he purported, the length of ones index finger as compared to ones ring finger could differentiate most men from most women. This has been well documented over the years but I had not been aware of the full details as I saw in this particular study. You can imagine how perplexed and confused my nephew was when his theory of my being masculine seemed to fail when he measured my fingers over and over and found my index and ring finger were of equal length suggesting that I was more woman than man.

The whole basis of the study was based on levels of in-utero exposure to androgens or estrogens during pre-natal development. Other meaningful relations were able to be concluded as well; including relations to spatial skills as well as language and artistic aptitudes vs. mathematical and logical/reasoning aptitudes. All of these relations appear to be a direct correlation of the brain's exposure to male or female hormones pre-natally. I'll save the good stuff for when you check out these links...

Let's just say that both my wife and I were surprised at the results we discovered for both her and I. The shorter length of her index finger as compared to her ring finger also related directly to the relations drawn for her left-handedness as a possible result of higher testosterone levels pre-natally and correlated well to other aspects that concern her as well.

http://www.viewzone.com/fingers.html

http://www.sciencenetlinks.org/sci_update.php?DocID=260

The following link presents this in a short audio format which I would suggest listening to...
http://audio.scienceupdate.com/050321_sciup_rad.mp3


Also take a look at this:

http://www.viewzone.com/homosexual.html

about half way down the following excerpt is especially notable...


"if a mother is stressed during the early stages of pregnancy, she will release an adrenaline related hormone into her own bloodstream and that of her unborn baby. This hormone, called androstendione, is structurally similar to testosterone, the male hormone. If the baby carries "XY" chromosomes and is destined to become a male, testosterone needs to be active when the Central Nervous System (including the hypothalamus) is being formed. This is the only way that the CNS "knows" to develop along male lines. Because the stress hormone seems to bind to the receptors that would normally be receiving testosterone, there is the delay or blockage of the effectiveness of testosterone, even if it is plentiful."

"...The present data support the hypothesis that exposure of pregnant rats to environmental stressors modifies the normal process of sexual behavior differentiation in male fetuses by decreasing functional testosterone and elevating androstenedione levels during prenatal development. During stress conditions plasma testosterone emanating from the gonads decreases while adrenal androstenedione rises. The molecular structure of the two androgens, being very similar, it is postulated that the two hormones compete for the same receptor sites. Since androstenedione is a less potent androgen than testosterone, the decrease in male copulatory ability and increased lordotic potential seen in the prenatally stressed animals of the present study would be expected. The relative difference in potency between testosterone and androstendione has been repeatedly demonstrated.

It is therefore possible that while the body and organs of an animal can be a "male," the brain can coincidentally be "female."

Another, more recent article, has proven this relationship to yet another degree further and I highly recommend a review of it!

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/09/110907-ring-finger-length-science-genes-sex-hormones-men-women/


I would love to hear what others results from this simple finger test might be as it appears to be one possible physical manifestation of an underlying relation...

-Christen
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

carrie359

Maybe that has something to do with my baby face.. imagine what it was like when girls would say.. you have such a cute nose I wish I had your nose.. You have such high cheek bones.. wish I looked like you.. You have such pretty eyes just like your mom.. It killed me. If only they knew.. . ...Passing as a man.. with small hands and feet always made me feel funny on a date.. I would hide my hands..
So ironic.. I felt like I was having to do something to pass as a man's man.. .   I need to keep a journal.. you can't make this stuff up...
  •  

Rachel

Went to the therapist today and I discussed:

1) I went to the Buffalo Exchange high end thrift on 1713 Chestnut Street, felt at ease yet in a shirt and tie did not fit in. I stayed and tried to penetrate the imaginary force field to the woman's section. I will return next week and try again.
2) Reviewed the HRT decision to continue for a while, perhaps 20 years or so. Pretty happy and experiencing more each day.
3) Reviewed blood test results, super low T and beast development (Mom was a full D).
4)Reviewed how to approach wife about undergarments. Wife had said her or cloths. "Well hun I have a problem can you help" and try to pull he to help. At least start the conversation.
5) talked about me taking a  2 day presentation coarse in Oct and monthly communication seminars with a bunch of super business women. Also, making this a development goal for work. The organizer is my past professional coach and uses my chosen name :)
6) Talked about wife and cloths issue then reviewing with wife about coming out to our daughter.
7) Reviewed coming out at work May 28, 2014 using a presentation.
8- Reviewed how wonderful I feel and how wonderful sex is and how I finally have feelings and cry. I am so calm and happy.
9) I reviewed something with a Director today, someone I had in the past not liked. We communicated and had a wonderful conversation. We mixed business, family and pets. When she was leaving she smiled and she said," you have a heart and I now know how to reach you". She is really a nice person.

My undershirt is getting snug in the top  :laugh:
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

carrie359

Cynthia sounds like you are on a good plan and one I am setting out on.. I am scared to death and have thoughts of suicide ..but I know a trans woman that has helped calm me down a bit.. I have therapy in a couple days ...
I still can't get over my 1.04 finger length.. every time I start thinking maybe this is just a fetish or something I am reminded of my childhood.. I cry and cry about it and realize, something happened.. its not my fault I am female... and too be honest, I like my female side.. its what makes me me... and I am a loving compassionate person.
I hope one day I will be where you are... taking the steps...I want low dose hormones now.. even very very low to take the edge off.. I will be asking..
Carrie
  •  

cynthialee

finger length is a fun little tool and it can help in adding to the entire picture, but it is not a sure fire diagnostic

Mine are basic male pattern. But then just about everyone in my family has male hands, even the women. My spouses father? Woman hands, if we go by the finger length ratio thing. And this dude is very much cisgendered.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
  •  

Rachel

#267
My ratio is 1.01 and 1.00.

I have been serious about ending it all. In December it was real close and not planned. When I say close I mean close. I am so happy I did not. HRT is transforming and I initially was going to go on very low dose for 3 months. I ended up going regular dose and I have no intention of ending. I am happy and am looking forward to becoming me.

I have found, for myself, suicide is a safety valve. It is when my ability to cope is overwhelmed and I need to make hard decisions that are super difficult to face. Like, I am a woman in a mans body and it hurts and the only way out is to cause pain. Well, do you think a chick is having fun getting out of that shell, no. Birth and rebirth is a struggle. The struggle I have found is within me. I am the gatekeeper and I am the one that has held myself back.


Therapy has helped me to recognize I have freedom and I am in control. I am working on breaking an imaginary barrier that is as real as a brick wall but exists in my mind. Going and buying woman cloths in a public place with woman around. I am making progress and the closer I get the more I want it and think about and that layer of dysphoria is ramping up.

Carrie, if you stick with this you will find a place that you make that is just right for you. Hold on for just a little while longer. If it gets to where you are getting serious about suicide call 1-800-273-TALK. Get out of the house, call a friend, go shopping, eat a cheese steak or a soft pretzel or a hoagie or get some sleep or exercise. Point is you are an important person and you have a lot to live for.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

Work today I wore a multicolored striped tie and salmon shirt. The tie has the rainbow color stripes. Lots of people were looking at it, really funny.

One guy yesterday asked how old I was and he than commented on I looked younger.

Today a guy commented my longer hair made me look younger.

Tuesday I was dropping off a binder to someone in a lab but did not know where her office was. I ventured to the labs and with  a smile I asked for help locating XXXX. I had 2 women offer to show me and the one cock blocked the other and escorted me.

Offered and picked up a new lunchtime walking buddy today, lots of fun. She is really nice and I think a future ally.

I am starting to venture out of my hole.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

carrie359

Thanks Cynthia
I will  hang in there.. I feel hopeless and confused... I will be getting help I need soon..
Carrie
  •  

Rachel

Went to the therapist Friday evening and we discussed:

1)Going to support. I need to bring up the issue with my wife. There is already a big trust issue and it will a big issue, I feel.

2) Work. There is an issue and I am going to highly recommend a training to and for HR and leadership. There is an issue. My therapist needs to check to make sure one of the other two who do the trainings (45 years combined experience) does not have a conflict of interest. She is a Physician and Researcher in Trans* and on staff. If there is a conflict then the offer will be for just the two but the other would add an absolute authority to the training.

OK, the issue. I need to learn to be mindful of what I say and how I say it. I never was able to speak my mind and was always afraid but I have lost my fear and just could not stop. I expressed myself on many topics, truthfully and accurately to my boss. I was blunt and expressed without backing down. I later apologized in an e-mail an person. He said I needed to realize I no longer think like an engineer. I saw my boss yesterday and questioned his statement and asked that he clarify. He said that due to hormones I no longer have the mind of an engineer. He sited a past coworker and a comment that she asked, "does he feel the same every day he wakes up". He said yes and he said she would love that but never knows how she will feel due to hormones. He then said engineers think without emotion. 

My boss really does not know and is ignorant on the subject. He said he had not read the three books I lent him. Leadership and HR where I work need Trans* 101 training. I love my boss and where I work and the people where I work.  I told him I am not stopping HRT and eventually I will be coming out. He said I will just tell everyone ****** (given name) has made a decision and he is transitioning to become a woman. Here is the policy and I will be enforced.  My head hurt so bad at this point and I could not believe what I had just heard; I was numb. My therapist just looked at me in complete horror when I told her and she said a training is needed and is starting to make initial arraignments. One last comment. When he speaks to me with reference to trans issues he looks at the ground and stumbles for words sometimes. He cannot look at me. I think that hurts most of all.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

carrie359

Hang in there... I just told my wife.. its been emotional.. but she accepts me.
Your boss obviously does not understand and most cis won't unless they are willing to get educated. Ignorance= fear.. understanding = compassion.
My wife has found compassion and understanding but now her dreams are gone and her hubby is dead...
Hope you can get him educated..he needs to understand.
Carrie
  •  

KabitTarah

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 14, 2013, 08:49:54 AM
OK, the issue. I need to learn to be mindful of what I say and how I say it. I never was able to speak my mind and was always afraid but I have lost my fear and just could not stop. I expressed myself on many topics, truthfully and accurately to my boss. I was blunt and expressed without backing down. I later apologized in an e-mail an person. He said I needed to realize I no longer think like an engineer. I saw my boss yesterday and questioned his statement and asked that he clarify. He said that due to hormones I no longer have the mind of an engineer. He sited a past coworker and a comment that she asked, "does he feel the same every day he wakes up". He said yes and he said she would love that but never knows how she will feel due to hormones. He then said engineers think without emotion.

Wow. Are there ANY female engineers at your workplace? That's not cissexist... that's outright sexist.

I totally understand about losing your fear and speaking your mind. I always had that technically, but now I have no fear... and maybe even crave people to know who I am. I know some of it is getting out... some of it pretty strongly. I wouldn't be surprised if those work friends who are on Facebook with me suspect that I'm gay. Thankfully trans* is way off anyone's radar... but that may be questioned more quickly once I start transition (or say more things I shouldn't).

How exactly are we supposed to keep our mouths shut? That's what my wall was for... the wall is mostly gone now... but I'm still very male in body (and will be for at least a year, maybe two as far as work is concerned). Luckily I'm in a BIG company - HR and Management should be OK... unfortunately it's staffed with a lot of conservatives.

Good luck w/ your wife. It was the first and hardest thing I ever did after coming out.
~ Tarah ~

  •  

Rachel

Thanks for the replies. Hugs.

Coming out to my wife was very difficult and we are very close now. She know knows a lot of why I had behaved they way I did, especially addiction and lack of sexual desire.

Yes it is sexist. The company has 14,000 employees and is 90% female. Most of leadership is female. In our department there are 18 or so cis female of which 10 are Architects, Planners and 1 other than I are engineers.

All my life I was plagued with fear and indecision and now it is going away and I am getting courage. I do not know why. It feels empowering and a bit reckless.

I too want to tell everyone but my therapist advises against it and for good reasons as I am experiencing.

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

cynthialee

It is best to not tell everyone.
Perhaps after you have gotten this transition thing nailed down and it is old hat for you, perhaps being the educator is a good idea. But at this early point you do not know how you will feel in a couple years about stealth and just fitting in as a woman. The advocates life isn't for all of us and that is perfectly ok.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
  •  

KabitTarah

Quote from: cynthialee on September 14, 2013, 11:18:40 PM
It is best to not tell everyone.
Perhaps after you have gotten this transition thing nailed down and it is old hat for you, perhaps being the educator is a good idea. But at this early point you do not know how you will feel in a couple years about stealth and just fitting in as a woman. The advocates life isn't for all of us and that is perfectly ok.

Are you an advocate? How does it make your life harder?

I see two options for me in 2-4 years. Either I'm out, an advocate, and don't care (I think I'm strong enough) and can stay in the area to see my kids often... or I move relatively far away (down the coast or cross country) and see them very seldom. They are young, and I can't see leaving them, but I can't see staying stealth in my job at my current location. I am committed to who I work for.
~ Tarah ~

  •  

Rachel

Thanks all, hugs.

Friday I had asked my therapist her opinion about coming out to another at work. She asked why and I stated my reasons and described her religious beliefs and her political views. The therapist advised against it and stated I needed 1) the training to be done at work and 2) attend the Thursday night trans socials for support.

I want to come out to more and be open but the therapist warned that at work it will be mixed and some will not respond well. The organization needs to learn from the top down so when the "wildfire" occurs there would at least be some knowledge of trans. We discussed the potential of me working someplace else shortly after I am out. I discussed this with my Boss Friday too and he said he did not want that to happen. I also discussed with him training for the upper management and shared my therapist information with him.


HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

Went to the therapist today and discussed:

1) She sent coming out at work info to my e-mail but was having computer issues and will resend. She also had the training information and proposal. She wants to review the information with me after I read everything. Then I can send it to HR and my Boss.
2) Work transition is progressing well while home is stalled. I need to review coming out to our 16 year old daughter, buying a replacement set of woman's panties and undershirts and throw out my male under items.
3) I walk at lunch and at night and feel great. My mind is almost free of sexual thoughts and quiet, is the best term. I still see all the wonderful woman's cloths and 1000's of real life models. I am fixated on women's heights, voice and geometry.
4) I can go to bed and sleep without sexual dysphoria!!!
5) I have to date only gained from HRT and coming out and want to proceed more. The therapist is protective of me and wants me to be more prepared. She said she did not want to be a gatekeeper and would deal with "if I sent an e-mail to work staff". I am not ready yet.
6) Asked if I would look female in May 2014 and she said I may need more time. :(
7) Will go to outfest and group in 2 weeks.

8- I was able to unconsciously look at her and feel a wonderful wave as I discussed looking at women's cloths then I switched topic to another item and looked away. Se caught me and asked what we were last talking about and how I felt when I was discussing. I said I felt a warm electric wave of excitement. She asked why I stopped and looked away. I said because it felt good. She asked what is it. I explained discussing the clothing felt good. She then asked why I looked away and changed the subject and I said it felt good. I told her  I never accept positive feedback and switch it to negative, until the last few weeks. I explained, for example,  I never looked at my high school or college diplomas yet I know exactly where they are. I explained I changed my ties, work shirts, pants and shoes and am getting a lot of very nice compliments and it feels really good.  I will get my diplomas out and look at them and hang them in my office. She said you know you can get them reissued in a new name and I said in due time, May 2014. I want positive feedback now and it feels good; I almost crave the positive feedback. I want reinforcement and affirmation of my change. :)

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

cynthialee

 ;D
I want that for you also hun. So very much so.

You are kicking ass and taking names.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
  •  

MaryXYX

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 20, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
I told her I never accept positive feedback and switch it to negative, until the last few weeks.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 20, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
I ... am getting a lot of very nice compliments and it feels really good.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 20, 2013, 08:21:48 PM
I want positive feedback now and it feels good; I almost crave the positive feedback. I want reinforcement and affirmation of my change. :)

Wow!  That so reminds me of my own experience.  Perhaps we couldn't accept praise because it was for who we were presenting as, not who we really were?
  •