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MTF in need of help

Started by Rachel, January 11, 2013, 10:02:26 PM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Cassi

Sounds like you're doing pretty gosh darn good!!!!!
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

cynthialee

looking at your profile pic I do not see how you could ever see a man

you look great hun
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
  •  

Rachel

Thank you Cassi and cynthialee :)

Update:
----------------------
Facial hair removal- Thermolysys is really doing a good job. I am still doing electrolysis ( she is a trans friend) but it is not as effective on me. It goes to show to use different methods. I think some people may respond to different methods better.
---------------------------
I did not go to group Thursday. I was wiped out from the snow and needed to get some rest.
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Therapist - I have secondary insomnia. I get to sleep very well and when stress levels are low to moderate I can sleep 5 hours without waking. When I wake I can not get back to sleep. When stress is up a bit I get 3 or so hours of sleep then wake and can not get to sleep. My therapist asked what I think about? I responded from superficial to core. She asked if I would keep a dream journal. I said I have one by my bed.  I told her I did not need it, the dreams are the same.

Superficial - work stress de jour.

She asked is that it. Then I told her a layer.

Base dream- I dream about when I was six or seven and I would wrap rubber bands around my gonads at night before I wet to bed. One night I fell asleep (that was the plan) then a while later I awoke and had a dream where my dad beat me unmercifully. I took the rubber bands off. I should have left them on and gone back to sleep this haunts me.

What I did not tell her and what bothers me so much is I go back into my past from recent to way back. I crate different endings. The first part is from the past then I recreate. There are themes to the new endings and it always ends in me transitioning and being accepted or starting a new life with a new family or other endings.

There were many things I recreate with new endings. I guess it is on my subconscious. My therapist wants to help me to end the dreams but they are my past and then I recreate a new ending. How do I stop that? This is my past it consumed me. It altered who I am, my identity. I am trying to find my new base my new normal and create a new life and share my life with a person that wants to be part of my present and future.
---------------
25 days till the operation. I sometimes think it is not worth it, just passing thoughts. I guess mainly I am afraid it will not be successful.  I guess the urethra by far then the scar tissue is my biggest concern then making the bottom of my vagina followed by labiaplasty then hood correction.
---------------------------------------
The guy from match.com - I am thinking of blocking him. I asked twice if he wanted to get coffee and if he wanted to meet after work. Each time he said he would see if he can get some time to meet. Then when he calls the connection is always bad and I end up saying to call me from a land line but he doesn't. I need to write a tactful message basically saying I need to see a person face to face and that it is best if we no longer contact each other. I just need to get the nerve up to send the e-mail.
-----------------------------------

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Cassi

There's a thread about nipple piercing and I couldn't find your PM to let you know so you could enlighten the young lady.
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

Rachel

#1444
Hi Cassi, I could not find the post. Basically wait 6 months post BA to get them pierced. Wash them daily and do not touch them or let anyone else touch them. If a guy wants to touch them I will use alcohol afterwards to clean them off.

-------------------------

I saw my doctor at Mazzoni today. I will start PrEP tonight. Labs in 3 months :( . He is sending in a script for T, just a dab every other day for bone health and libido. I explained last time I just could not take the T but now I am ready. He said he had 3 girls today that had the same issue (they see many thousands of trans 23,000 in the practice and mostly trans).

He asked if I am having sex and I said I am on Match.com and one guy is a high probability. He gets back in 2 weeks from a trip for work and sex is a high probability when we meet. If we meet. He asked if I will tell him I am trans. I said I told him already for safety reasons. I do not want any violence. I asked why and he said I pass and he want me to think about telling him. He said I really did not have too. That felt so good but I do not pass. I no longer see the guy in the mirror but passing???

I explained the sataloff CT procedure and the next step which will be glottoplasty. I let him know about the April 4th GCS rework. I also let him know I filed step 2 grievance for my FFS. He said I really do not need glottoplasty. I explained I still get misgendered on the phone. O% in person but 75% on the phone.

He said my hair really looks good :) .
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Cassi

Quote from: Rachel on March 12, 2018, 05:57:23 PM
Hi Cassi, I could not find the post. Basically wait 6 months post BA to get them pierced. Wash them daily and do not touch them or let anyone else touch them. If a guy wants to touch them I will use alcohol afterwards to clean them off.

-------------------------

I saw my doctor at Mazzoni today. I will start PrEP tonight. Labs in 3 months :( . He is sending in a script for T, just a dab every other day for bone health and libido. I explained last time I just could not take the T but now I am ready. He said he had 3 girls today that had the same issue (they see many thousands of trans 23,000 in the practice and mostly trans).

He asked if I am having sex and I said I am on Match.com and one guy is a high probability. He gets back in 2 weeks from a trip for work and sex is a high probability when we meet. If we meet. He asked if I will tell him I am trans. I said I told him already for safety reasons. I do not want any violence. I asked why and he said I pass and he want me to think about telling him. He said I really did not have too. That felt so good but I do not pass. I no longer see the guy in the mirror but passing???

I explained the sataloff CT procedure and the next step which will ne glottoplasty. I let him know about the April 4th GCS rework. I also let him know I filed step 2 grievance for my FFS. He said I really do not need glottoplasty. I explained I still get misgendered on the phone. O% in person but 75% on the phone.

He said my hair really looks good :) .

Thanks.  I thought I had pasted the title into a message.  Anyway, great news and you do owe us all a picture of your nu-do!
HRT since 1/04/2018
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cynthialee

I have been taking a trace of T once every week or so for a number of years for energy and libido
thanks for the reminder, I am due
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
  •  

Rachel

Hi Cassie, I know I need to get some pics. I just need to get outside and take a few.

Hi Cynthialee, how has the T helped you? Does it really help with libido? Did you notice anything with your prostrate? My prostrate is really small. Has you hair been impacted?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Update, Aetna is requiring prior authorization from my doctor for the T. If I am denied I will go through the 430B program. The script is $400 from CVS.

Papillion called today asking about the pre-surgical testing. I never received the letter with what was requested. I think I have the testing done between Mazzoni and Dr. Sataloff. Talk about cutting it close.

I am using a new lit stain from Urban Decay. That and my hair and I am getting a lot of compliments from men and woman. One guy today kept saying I really look good. I think he said it 4 times. I noticed when I wear this color my teeth really pop white and my lips look really good. With a light color lipstick or stain my lips get washed out.

I think the guy from match is  phishing. He keeps texting me but can never meet. Oh well, I will need to start from scratch.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

On T. Mazzoni had it for $40.00. I take a little bit every other day.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

I gave the guy texting from match.com a choice. Either meet up for coffee or stop texting me. It had been 2 weeks of 3 or 4 texts a day and I wanted to meet. I guess he wanted a text relationship.

-------------------
I am in a bit of a bind. I got a call from Papillion that they had not seen my pre-op tests. I said I never received a letter requesting them. I had an operation with them in July 2017. So now I need to get the tests ASAP. My surgery is 4/4/18. So much stress.
-----------------
I am on T, a dab every other day. I do feel a little bit better and I do have a libido returning a bit :)
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

Pre-Op testing
Blood test done,
Cardiology consult prior to major operation scheduled tomorrow.
Chest x-ray will be done after the cardiologist tomorrow morning.

Mazzoni to send the last physical, history and ekg from December to Papillion. I need to call Papillion tomorrow and make sure they get the information. Mazzoni said it can take up to Wednesday.
-------------------

All PrEPed up and no guy :(
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Cassi

HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

Rachel

Hi Cassie, thank you. I like your avatar pic :)

----------
Papillion received the Mazzoni paperwork Monday. I did the blood test and EKG anyway. I had the cardiology consult and chest x-ray done. So I am done with pre-op testing.

I asked 2 questions Kristol will answer tomorrow. One, do I need to remove the piercings prior to the operation. I know the answer but I wanted to ask anyway. Perhaps I can het acrylic. Two, is their any chance they would consider using a peritoneal graft. 

I use to be 327 pounds; I am 194 now. So I have stretch marks in my crotch area. I wonder about the skin used in a graft. If they cut out good skin will they remove the stretch marks too? If they do then that would be good. I have a new question to ask.

I really do not expect them to consider a peritoneal graft, but you never know.
------------------------------------

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

mm

Never know, Rachel, unless you ask, with losing so much weight I expect you do have the extra skin down there to use.
  •  

Rachel

Hi MM, yes I have extra skin down there but it has stretch marks and is not choice skin.

I have not heard back from Papillion about peritoneal or piercings. I went  to warrior in Mew Hope for my piercings and they use surgical grade steel and gave the ANSI specification.  I will fax that to Papillion Monday.

9 days till the GCS corrections. I did not receive a surgical sheet on what not to do or take. I know the drill and are stopping blood thinning supplements.

I have been doing some research about Dr. Sataloff's glottoplasty. I see him the 28th. I want to inquire if he uses micro instruments or a laser. I watch a you tube of him explaining when to use a laser and when not. I am 99% sure he uses micro instruments but I will ask. I receive a 60 to 70 HZ increase without him touching the vocal folds from the last procedure. I would expect to go from 160 -180 to 220 to 240 with glottoplasty. I have lots of questions. My voice has improved significantly in the last three months. I am happy with it less the HZ. 

Lorie is on her way north to the Philly area then on to Boston and will be stopping by soon :) .

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

Interesting day,

So there is a guy I have not seen for 6 months. He stops by my office. He said you colored your hair, did you go to a professional? Then he said you need to work on your voice and then tighten up some skin pointing to my buccal fat area. I wanted to cry but I composed myself. Some people are so dense or stupid.

I received an e-mail back from Kristal at Papillion. The piercings must be removed for surgery. Also, they will not be using a perineal graft. She mentioned why and that skin is the better choice. 

Tomorrow I will be going to a HRC mixer for work. I will be wearing a dress tomorrow and most likely eat dinner in the gayborhood.

I have voice pathologist and singing coach tomorrow. Wednesday I see Dr. Sataloff. I will be confirming he uses micro instruments for a glottoplasty and ask if he will do the procedure. Next to see if insurance will pay for it. If not I will be funding a trip to Korea. It may take me some time but I will get there.

Lorie visited yesterday evening. I wish we had more time to chat. She is very easy to talk to and a very nice person. I thought about the visit today at work and it was great to meet her in person.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Kendra

Quote from: Rachel on March 26, 2018, 07:12:35 PM
> Then he said you need to work on your voice and then tighten up some skin pointing to my buccal fat area. I wanted to cry but I composed myself. Some people are so dense or stupid.
Glad you held yourself together, not easy to do.  Maybe keep an answer in the queue if there is a next time... the answer is "You need to work on your manners" and then walk away.  Some people don't deserve the time.

Quote from: Rachel on March 26, 2018, 07:12:35 PM
Lorie visited yesterday evening. I wish we had more time to chat. She is very easy to talk to and a very nice person. I thought about the visit today at work and it was great to meet her in person.
And on a much better note, so glad you got to meet her! 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Allison S

Wow what a jerk. I agree with Kendra he should work on his manners

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

  •  

Cassi

Quote from: Kendra on March 26, 2018, 08:20:44 PM
And on a much better note, so glad you got to meet her!

I think it would be cool if she was made the official Roaming Ambassador for Susan's Place. And then she could wear her Honey Badge(r) Of Honor :)
HRT since 1/04/2018
  •  

SadieBlake

Rachel, I think that rude bastard is a solid reason to acknowledge that you've arrived at "taken for female' if you have work colleagues who know this guy I'd suggest confiding in them and finding if they've been demeaned in similar manner.

Giving him a clue isn't your job and in your shoes I would think to make reminding him of that part of upbraiding him. It's also totally kosher to seek him out for this upbraiding.

Sorry IAC that you were subjected to such stupid.
🌈👭 lesbian, troublemaker ;-) 🌈🏳️‍🌈
  •