Ouch.

[Reinhaven]

Yesterday, I asked my mom if I should tell Dad about how I was feeling. He's been saying all sorts of things that make me uncomfortable, such as calling me girly nicknames and such. I told my mom about this, and I was shocked how she replied.

"What do you want me to tell him? 'Our daughter thinks she's transgendered'?" I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded. She said it in such a snarky, sarcastic way that I knew she was taunting me. And it got worse. "Before you were even born, every single cell in your body screamed 'female', and they still do. You can do all sorts of things. You can cut your hair short, you can try to bind behind my back, you can wear masculine clothes... You can even try to get a fake penis. But you'll never be a man. You know that, right?"

I was so overwhelmed I just said "yes."

This means anything I do (hormone therapy, surgeries, counseling) is going against her will. That she'll never see me as the person who I am. Even though the only progress I'm allowed to make is having short hair and occasionally wearing masculine clothes, I feel like all of it has been in vain.

[suzifrommd]

It sounds like your mother needs educating (might not be possible, but worth a try).

You could try repeating a few facts:

* We don't choose to be transgender.

* It doesn't go away.

* There is no cure. Living as your true gender is the only medically recognized treatment.

* If ignored, transgender is serious and can lead to depression.

* Transgender people do better when the people around them accept and support them.

Because of her mindset, she may be resistant to these, but it's worth a try to keep repeating them. If she hears them often enough she may find herself thinking about them.

Keep your hope, Reinhaven. This is a difficult situation, but you're not alone.

[spacial]

Possibly.

But I suggest you let that situation cool off for a while.

Sometimes it isn't important that other have our lable right. Just that we can be comfortable.

If your parents want to introduce you as their daughter, then I suspect they will whatever you do.

But with respect, I do love this one?

But you'll never be a man. You know that, right?"

Bless her.

[Beth Andrea]

*hugs*

Ultimately, it's your life and how you choose to live it is YOURS.

If your mom, dad, or anyone else won't accept it...you can either accept that, and still live your life, or you can spend more time with people who do accept you as you are.

You need not tolerate emotionally abusive behavior, no matter what the reason excuse.

[Reinhaven]

It sounds like your mother needs educating (might not be possible, but worth a try).

...

Because of her mindset, she may be resistant to these, but it's worth a try to keep repeating them. If she hears them often enough she may find herself thinking about them.

Keep your hope, Reinhaven. This is a difficult situation, but you're not alone.

Thank you!
She's actually been doing research on the topic. She's reading articles both for and against ->-bleeped-<-, but she'll still never except it--which means she'll never accept me.
I love my mom. She's been great to me. But in these instances, sometimes I wish she could understand how I feel.

Thanks for the comfort!

But with respect, I do love this one?

But you'll never be a man. You know that, right?"

Bless her.

Nice to see you again!

Yeah. I'm trying to give her some space on the topic. We've been friendly all of today, so things are looking good.

I wasn't really thinking when she was talking to me. I was trying really hard not to think, actually. I just felt so upset.
The thing is, I'm sure I am a man. Or a boy.
A few of the things she said really stung, but I don't want to let what she said change my mind just because it hurt.

*hugs*

Ultimately, it's your life and how you choose to live it is YOURS.

If your mom, dad, or anyone else won't accept it...you can either accept that, and still live your life, or you can spend more time with people who do accept you as you are.

You need not tolerate emotionally abusive behavior, no matter what the reason excuse.

Ms. Beth. You're seriously one of my heroines.
And you're posting on my thread. oirjewirf. Wow. This is awesome.

Unfortunately, I haven't met anyone who seems to understand that I know who I am and what I am. No aunts or uncles or grandparents or cousins that would take lightly to the subject. No friends that really seem to get it. I'm sort of trapped in a box right now.

Again, thank all of you for the encouragement. You guys are a real family.

[spacial]

I wasn't really thinking when she was talking to me. I was trying really hard not to think, actually. I just felt so upset.

Yep, I'm pretty sure most of us would behave in the same way with our mums.

But really pleased you could post it here. I know we're all ready to listen to a good rant, because when you aren't one of us is.