Once a cross dresser - always a cross dresser?

[TheBattler]

Well I am feel a lot more positive today - I just came back with an appointment wish my psychiatrist. We had a long talk about where I am going and how I am feeling. She thinks that if I can get my depression under control after about 6 months I will be able to cut down on my Medication. My depression is not totaly under control now so I need to slightly increase the dose.

We talked about gender expression, Jealousy and desire. Once I get the depression under control the real work will start in working out where I really need to go. She wants me to work with my consellor Jane on this one. She said any decision of transistion is a few years down the track and in any case if I identify as a male there will be no need to transistion. I talk on the wekend with buffy a lot about Jealousy and how we can not over come that emotions. Interesting that a comody tonight on TV talked about the ask, believe and recieve. Like we we start out dream (ask) of becoming female (for MtF), we believe we can transistion (or at least start when we are ready) and then we recive (after some time we will get what we asked for). Can we break this viscious path?

For me I always identified as a CD. What if I wanting a path to go on rather then staying still is making my desire to transistion very great and me jealous of others who moving forward. Will it be possible for me to break this pattern and be content as a cross dress? Can I some how remove that jealousy and desire? Once I get stable and reducing my medication what is going to help me stop this cycle?

Alice

[cindianna_jones]

As I've always said Alice, if you can stay away from transitioning, you are well advised to do so.  No, it does not "make you a woman".  Transitioning does however allow you to live life as a woman.

GID is a fundamental cause for depression.  It's hard to get rid of the depression without getting rid of the GID.

I seen no problem in pursuing the advice of your therapists for now.  But Alice, if you see no progress after a period of time, you need to make changes in what you are doing.

As I have told you so many times.... I did not think of myself as a "woman/girl trapped in a male body".  I did not strongly "identify as a female".  My thoughts were more along the lines of "wanting to be a girl".  It would not leave my mind... ever.  I had to be a girl.  I too went back and forth deciding to go ahead and then falling back several times.  It played havoc on my family and me. 

Eventually, I followed through.  And my GID problems are now resolved for the most part. There will always be a few little nagging details that linger but they are not big issues in my life.

Chin up!

Cindi

[Kate]

As I have told you so many times.... I did not think of myself as a "woman/girl trapped in a male body".  I did not strongly "identify as a female".  My thoughts were more along the lines of "wanting to be a girl".  It would not leave my mind... ever.  I had to be a girl.

Exactly, same with me.

I was born with an absolute *need* to be a girl. It's as simple as that. The next 42 years were spent trying to explain, justify, avoid and disprove that simple fact, but in the end I simply MUST be a girl. Everything else, all the theorizing and looking for "reasons..." just pointless distractions and delays for me.

The need to be a girl IS the "a priori" of my existence, it's the fundamental particle you just cannot split any further. That need explains my life - my life doesn't explain IT.

There is no "because" to explain why I'm transitioning. I'm not transitioning because I identify as a female, or because I think I'll be happier as a woman, or because I get to wear neat clothes.

Even if I DID "identify a a male," knew I'd be unhappy as a woman, and had to wear men's clothing after transitioning... I'd STILL have to do this. The GID - or whatever you want to call it - just does not care about any of that.

I simply MUST be a girl; and that drive stands alone, independent and invulnerable from any attempts to prevent it.

~Kate~

[Ms.Behavin]

Ditto to what Cindy and Kate said.  My GDI was always there.  But I no longer need to worry about It or much less so now.

Beni

[gennee]

Hi, Alice. I'm happy to hear that you are in better spirits. I am a crossdresser and quite happy as a CD. Will I always be one? Who knows. I agree with Cindi about transitioning. That's a gigantic step AND I would hate to see someone transition then realize that it was a mistake. Try to sort out things one at a time. I don't have GID but I love to crossdress. It's a part of my life that has enriched me.

Gennee

[LostInTime]

Definitely take your time and work through the issues. Even if you decide that you are TS, transition does not magically make everything all better and, in fact, can add oodles of stress and complications (YMMV).

Good luck on your journey.

[Suzy]

Dear Alice,
I'm so glad you seem to be doing better.  Can you remove the jealousy and desire?  Well if you find that magic bullet please let me know.  I want to buy stock.  And don't get too hung up on labels at this point if they only force you onto a certain path.  Get your depression under control first so that you can make the best decision.  As others have said, don't transition unless you have to.  I'm trying to take that very seriously, too.

Kristi