hello
I have been looking for a forum for a while so I can talk about stuff happening in my life, as I have no-one else to talk to! I am Kelly, I am 15 and I am from England, I was born a girl but my twin Luke was born a boy but wants to be a girl.
I have known for aages, probably longer than i realise as we have always played together and been really close and he has just always preferred my toys and games and stuff than his own. When we were little we used to play dressing up using mums and our older sisters old clothes that they let us play with, Luke always dressed up too and no-one minded, they thought he looked cute and stuff. Over time he has done it more and more and it became natural really that he would just wear my stuff when around the house. We share a room and we talk tons, and we talk about boyfriends andgirlfriends and stuff, luke has never been interested in a girlfriend even though i have set him up with a few of my really nice friends. Over a year ago now I found some bookmarks on the computer that I didnt recognise and they were all about having a sex change operation and stuff like that. i guessed they were lukes and that night i asked him - I might have been too blunt as he got really upset. We cuddled and talked and he said he really needed to tell me loads of stuff. He said he was not a boy and felt like a girl and wanted to be one for real. I don't know if I was shocked, I guess I knew really.
I said it was cool with me and I was still his twin and that if he was my sister then so what. He seemed happy and we talked about how things could change to help him. We talked about telling mum and dad but he said no way not yet, they are great parents but he was nervous about telling them. TO be honest i think they think he is gay anyway and i dont think it will be the biggest shock they have ever had! We went to sleep and the next day he asked if he could wear more of my clothes than usual - he usually just wore my tops, jeans and stuff. I said it was ok, just look after it. He had to put his school uniform on of course but wore some of my underwear, and seemed happier than he had in months! I promised to keep it all a secret if he wanted me to and that from now on between us at least he was my sister and her name would be Lucy.
So time has gone on, Lucy has grown her hair quite long and got her ears pierced (she pretends shes just into heavy rock music
) and never wears her boy underwear. We are used to now putting some of Lukes boxershorts in the washing basket for mum so she doesn't suspect, but she does ask me why I seem to get changed so often!
We have no advance on telling mum and dad, but we think Laura - one of our older sisters - knows. Round the house Lucy wears my trousers and tops, dad always jokes that he should leave my stuff alone and will never get a girlfriend dressed like a girl though mostly doesnt notice, mum ignores it - never really been an issue with her though she does think it is just trousers and tops. Sometimes Lucy will wear a skirt round the house but is still a bit nervous about that, nightimes it is nightshirts normally, sometimes ill wear the nightshirt so she can wear somethign nicer and then mum won't be suspicious. Luckily for her mum and dad go away for weekends a lot, so its clothes and makeup galore!
I guess I just need to know if I am right to support her, or if I should be convincing her that this isnt right. Should I talk to mum and dad, should I push Lucy to tell them? Does Lucy need some help from the doctor or anything? Don't take that the wrong way, I think its fine but I just worry that maybe she needs to be checked to see that she is ok, I would hate for her to be suffering inside and just pretending to be happy. Im trying to be a good sister but am worried I am actually being a bad one by helping her. To be honest i feel very alone and there is noone I can talk to about it!
Sorry for my long post, if I am not meant to be here please let me know and close my account.
Kel
x
