Strong desire to have girl friend due to hidden mtf transsexual feeling?

[Frustated]

I feel depressed thinking about how can I get girl friend. I never dated. I think this day and night most of the time.
I did a mental experiment. I imagine that I already transitioned from male to female. During this experiment, I feel less desire of the need to have girl friend.
So, I am thinking that may be the transsexual feelings is the main reason of the obsessive like strong desire to have girl friend. Does any one experienced this? Does, transsexual feeling lessen after got girl friend?

[Elspeth]

I feel depressed thinking about how can I get girl friend. I never dated. I think this day and night most of the time.
I did a mental experiment. I imagine that I already transitioned from male to female. During this experiment, I feel less desire of the need to have girl friend.
So, I am thinking that may be the transsexual feelings is the main reason of the obsessive like strong desire to have girl friend. Does any one experienced this? Does, transsexual feeling lessen after got girl friend?

For me, if they lessened at all, it was only because I was identifying with my girlfriend, and using the relationship to explore things, shop for clothes and engage in conversations with her and here girlfriends that I might not have had access to otherwise.  My sense is, to varying degrees, the desire to have a girlfriend can sometimes be confused with envy and wanting to be that girlfriend, though it may vary a bit, if you do have a strong attraction to women in addition to identifying with them.

What is almost always the case, though, is that the feelings come back, usually stronger than ever, once you realized that being next to and in companionship with a woman is not quite the same thing as being/becoming one. YMMV.

[Medusa]

When I was at similar state I found a girl who have strange effect on me, when we are together all my feelings, thoughts, "me" disappear is just nothing, i stayed with her because I was so scared of what I am
Result is just more complications and delayed transition
But it is good experience 

[big kim]

It didn't work for me for very long!

[Frustated]

Reading the comments, it seems that I am a true transsexual. I am thinking to talk with my counselor. I am taking antidepressant for my depression. I have talked about loneliness, lack of relationship etc. I think, it is now time to talk about the transsexual feeling also. I do not know how shall I talk with her cause I am feeling very shy.

[Medusa]

Write your feelings, it help me a lot
And do something soon, every day you will wait now you will regret in future

[Anna++]

I think I know exactly how you feel.  My ideal girl has always been "female me" and the last time I had a girlfriend I spent the entire time imagining what it would be like to be her.  It was a huge outlet while we were together, especially for the first few months, but gender issues continued to eat at me and I was definitely feeling it more by the time we broke up.

[Elspeth]

Write your feelings, it help me a lot
And do something soon, every day you will wait now you will regret in future

I agree with this. Most of my best sessions were ones where I brought along my journal with an outline of the points that I wanted to bring up, but knew I might be inhibited about bringing up. My therapist would usually start talking about his antique car if I didn't come to the sessions with an agenda already set, and committed to paper. I didn't do this nearly enough, and he frequently went on annoying tangents anyway. Hopefully you have a therapist who is a better listener.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I married three times.  Yes, I did love each one.  But looking back, I was only using them to hide from me.  If you seek out a girlfriend, do because you really want one, not because you are trying to hide from your feelings.  It isn't fair to her or you.

[Clarity]

I've also dealt with being desperate to find a girl friend. While I was attracted to women, I would say that part of me was so desperate just in hopes that the relationship could help me get away from being trans. Ultimately, it was being rejected several times that pushed me to the point of eventually coming out.

I also feel like my attraction to women has mostly been a desire to be the attractive woman I was looking at. I remember seeing things like Victoria's Secret ads and wishing that I could be the model. I would always buy women's underwear and wish that it would have the same shape on my body as it did on the model (You know, without the extra bulge from certain parts).