Detransitioning (MTF)

[ddone]

Hi.... some of you may remember me, as I posted a while back about butch transwomen.

I am a transwoman, that is, MTF (non-op), and I've been on hormones for, about 2 1/2 years now.  I'm wondering right now if it's been a good idea......

Whether it's right for me to "detransition" and stop hormones is something that I have to decide......  But I want to better understand just what would happen if I did stop hormones.

If I stopped taking estrogen, how much would return back to how it was before I started?  And how much would be different, or irreversible?  I tried doing some research on this and I suck at Googling for this kind of thing.....  And I'm hoping that there may be at least a couple people here who have gone through the same thing.  I do actually know someone IRL who was on T for a couple years and stopped, but they wouldn't really be able to answer the kind of questions that I have. =\

So I guess that's all.  Thanks in advance to anyone who can help.....
Kat

[supremecatoverlord]

I think you've posted this in the wrong section if you're MTF. Hopefully, a mod will move it for you so you can get the help you're requesting.

[Natkat]

being mtf I think generally its gonna be like before exept if you have develope breast. but again I think they might be better on the mtf forum to answer the question.

[AdamMLP]

I think they're probably asking here because they've got E in their system at the moment and so do pre-T trans guys, or it might be a genuine mistake.  Anyway, I would just say that although I don't know much about the effects estrogen will be having on you, you might want to consider stopping it for the time being if you're not 100% sure with continuing it.  There was one person on here who had stopped E and lost all their breast development but the way they spoke about it it sounded like they were surprised, so it might not be common.

[Simon]

Moved topic to correct area.

[Devlyn]

Hi ddone, here is a link to the information we have in our wiki on detransitioning: https://www.susans.org/wiki/Detransitioning Don't forget to say thanks to the wiki Staff! Here's a search tip. Click the "Forums" button at the top of the page, that will bring you to the board index. Type "detransition" into the search block and you will get pages of posts about detransitioning. Lastly, you may get some negative replies regarding this sensitive topic. Disregard them if they come, it is your life, and only you know what is right for you. Hugs, Devlyn

[Kelly J. P.]

 Well, facial hair will start to grow and return, and your breasts may diminish as well. Your skin will get rougher, you will be oily again, and your facial features might masculinize further. You may be able to be fertile again, as well.

I'm not sure about what else may happen.

[MaidofOrleans]

couldn't imagine doing this...

Most things will be reversed except breast tissue and possibly fertility. It really all depends. You wont look like your former self though, there will be lingering effects.

I'm curious if you don't mind me asking, after being on hormones for 2.5 years what made you start to have doubts?

[Alainaluvsu]

couldn't imagine doing this...

Most things will be reversed except breast tissue and possibly fertility. It really all depends. You wont look like your former self though, there will be lingering effects.

I'm curious if you don't mind me asking, after being on hormones for 2.5 years what made you start to have doubts?

For real... please tell us. I've been full time for nearly 9 months and I couldn't fathom going back.

[A]

To be honest, before looking for what will happen if you stop, you should, if you haven't, have this sorted out with a qualified mental health professional. It's a pretty major thing.

[BunnyBee]

For real... please tell us. I've been full time for nearly 9 months and I couldn't fathom going back.

I guess this goes to show why they have all the hoops in place that we must jump through?  To catch people that transition isn't right for before they have irreversible surgery?

[JoanneB]

I can can offer my reason as to "Why DeTransition?", though in my case it is from a part time existence and 3 years on HRT. While most of the time I spent being out in the real world as the real me has been joyfull, especially contrasted against my plankton like existence as a male there is no getting around the fact I have a very deeply entrenched male life, a semi-invalid wife, as well as other comitments and responsibilities I agreed to. I have zero doubt that if I went full-time I'll be out of a job within 6 months for an unrelated reason. At that point the fincial side of my life will fall into total collapse. My wife who is supportative may or may not stick around for long if/when I do.

To sum it up the only two things in my life that give me any sense of purpose and a reason to exist will be gone in exchange for what? The possibility that maybe the joy I feel will carry into a complete RLE? Doubtfull. The cost of transition is most likely not worth the price.

The days I spent in the real world as the real me, to finally achieve a life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman, will become just another painfull reminder of the tragedy called my life. I made the decision over 30 years after twice experimenting at transitioning that I shouldn't. If you learn that fire burns, why persist in putting your hand into it?

[ddone]

I can can offer my reason as to "Why DeTransition?", though in my case it is from a part time existence and 3 years on HRT. While most of the time I spent being out in the real world as the real me has been joyfull, especially contrasted against my plankton like existence as a male there is no getting around the fact I have a very deeply entrenched male life, a semi-invalid wife, as well as other comitments and responsibilities I agreed to. I have zero doubt that if I went full-time I'll be out of a job within 6 months for an unrelated reason. At that point the fincial side of my life will fall into total collapse. My wife who is supportative may or may not stick around for long if/when I do.

To sum it up the only two things in my life that give me any sense of purpose and a reason to exist will be gone in exchange for what? The possibility that maybe the joy I feel will carry into a complete RLE? Doubtfull. The cost of transition is most likely not worth the price.

The days I spent in the real world as the real me, to finally achieve a life long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman, will become just another painfull reminder of the tragedy called my life. I made the decision over 30 years after twice experimenting at transitioning that I shouldn't. If you learn that fire burns, why persist in putting your hand into it?

I am sorry to hear your story. Hope you well.

[Jamie D]

The original post is a fraud, copied for another website.  This poster lifted it and posted it here, and it has been on the internet for at least five years.  The poster refuses to explain the deception.

[Shawn Sunshine]

wow hmm, thats odd, why would someone post a fake post like that?

[Heather]

wow hmm, thats odd, why would someone post a fake post like that?

Who knows people do strange things on the Internet. But they probably thought they could get a laugh out of it.

[Alice-blossom]

I could not imagine ever wanting to detransition, and even the thought of it scares me.

[Elsa]

Firstly, I consider it a bit sick for someone to pull a prank like that. It's just plain wrong to play with someone's emotions.

Secondly, I tried to detransition once and I hated it - I hated everything - I hated the hair coming back on me - I hated the change in mood - It felt like someone was trying to put me back in a cage that I just got freed from. I became a recluse and a very irritable and short tempered person who would loose her temper at the slightest provocation and if it was something big - I would have brought hell on that person.

I ignored things and people I loved and hated myself and what I was becoming - that was what detransitioning was for me. I don't wanna do it again.

God help me if I have to.

[MaidofOrleans]

The original post is a fraud, copied for another website.  This poster lifted it and posted it here, and it has been on the internet for at least five years.  The poster refuses to explain the deception.

I don't get it....

[Zumbagirl]

When I went full time I feared that I would be unemployable and that worst of all, I would end up being an escort. I was willing to go that far if I had to, but, I didn't want to. I had already heard a few horror stories of being mistreated, and that definitely was not for me. So I gave myself a dead line and said if I couldn't get back on my feet and get my life in order I would de-transition and then go back and try it again. In others words go to living as a guy, get myself another job and then try to transition on the job yet again. I was worried about whether or not my RLE would be a complete flop and if spent every last penny I had on earth just so that I didn't need to shave, had a pretty face, acceptable voice, and small boobs. Luckily I never had to go to those extremes, but the fear of having to de transition was something that kept me motivated. I still had my old guy drivers license back then and every time I had to look at it I was constantly reminded of how miserable that poor soul really was.