Detransitioning...Have you ever thought about it ?

[pretty pauline]

After my srs I seriously thought about it, but I was going through a severe depression and had multiple complications with my surgery,

Like Luminosity, it crossed my mind briefly after my surgery, I had some incontinence problems and depression, it was a long healing period of nearly 2years, but after that period I never go back.

[Rowan Rue]

Pre-op 5 Mo on HRT and while I answered NO, I have had occasional doubts buuut, it's more that I've doubted my sanity and been dealing with some internalized trans hatred.  Kind of, maybe they're right crap.  In the end I know that if it wasn't for that external pressure to conform there is no way I'd even stop to think about it.  Also, while I've had doubts about the future, thinking about actually de-transitioning simply doesn't make sense in my mind.  Pretty much the second I came out to that first person, transition stopped being a "choice".

[Tristan]

I think it should also be mentioned that going backwards can be a difficult thing to do

[Shantel]

I think it should also be mentioned that going backwards can be a difficult thing to do

Ummm yeah, transitioning is like an uphill hike and running downhill backwards isn't a normal thing to do and tough physically and mentally, I know cause I tried it for two years. 

[Tristan]

Yeah your so right . It's been difficult to go backwards for me too

[suzifrommd]

I'm very tentative about ever going full time, I'm physically too large to ever be credible as a female in public.  I am very tall, have huge hands and feet (I need a size 15 in women's shoes, they are hard to find) and broad shoulders. 

Fezzika, of course you are credible as a female. You ARE a female. Your size doesn't change or affect that in any way.

Maybe you will never go stealth because of this. But I know lots of trans women who don't pass but yet are very happy with their transitions. They tell me nearly everyone treats them with respect and genders them correctly. I've frequently been in their company in public and seen that what they are reporting is true.

Please think about:
* You can be beautiful without passing. Non-passing trans women can be very beautiful.
* You can be beautiful without being close to the average size or shape of a woman. Women of all sizes and shapes can be beautiful.
* The only requirement for MtF transition is that you be a female inside. Transition is open to all women, regardless of size, shape, looks, voice, age, passability, or resemblance to the 21st century beauty ideal.

[RachelH]

As others have said, never.  This was a one way journey, if it fails my life fails.  Simple.  Fortunately, it seems to be working

[vegie271]

I HAVE detransitioned TWICE I was raised very conservatively and programmed that such things were wrong and kind of took it too heart so I only lasted 3 years and in my first relationship with a woman she decided that it would be a lot easier if I went back as a guy and we got married (the stupid thing is we met as lesbians), I ended up having to diverce her after a year because she beat me.

I transitioned again. Then I stupidly joined another church, that church when I was getting ready to have SRS put me through  reparative therapy    then I married a woman in that church. We were together for 12 years until she committed suicide, we had 3 children.

After 3 years together I went on HRT. I have been Full time now 5.5 years and no going back but I am very frustrated at all that I have been through especially since it look like I may never be able to afford SRS again.

       

[Shantel]

I'm sorry vegi, what a horrible nightmare! (hugs)

[MyKa]

I've never thought about detransitioning but asked myself if it is really worth it. I've lost the majority of my friends and been single for going on 6 years now. Besides work and the occasional family visit I pretty much live in isolation from everything. It upsets my mother to see me living this way , I always have the attitude why the hell would someone want to be with someone like me

[Anatta]

I HAVE detransitioned TWICE I was raised very conservatively and programmed that such things were wrong and kind of took it too heart so I only lasted 3 years and in my first relationship with a woman she decided that it would be a lot easier if I went back as a guy and we got married (the stupid thing is we met as lesbians), I ended up having to diverce her after a year because she beat me.

I transitioned again. Then I stupidly joined another church, that church when I was getting ready to have SRS put me through  reparative therapy    then I married a woman in that church. We were together for 12 years until she committed suicide, we had 3 children.

After 3 years together I went on HRT. I have been Full time now 5.5 years and no going back but I am very frustrated at all that I have been through especially since it look like I may never be able to afford SRS again.

       

Kia Ora Vegie,

I'm also sorry to hear about your past experience...But what's done is done and there's no going back to change thing...

I hope you find or have found a piece of happiness..

Metta Zenda

[Agent_J]

I am post-op and still consider it. In fact, for much of the past year, the only thing delaying me was getting through GCS. My view was simply that if I detransitioned I would simply need to transition again (what would be my 3rd attempt; my first was in 1994) in another 5-10 years, and having gone through 5 years of gatekeeper crap this time only to have to do the same again in a decade. SRS was particularly gatekept from me (I was required to do two years of RLE to get access by a therapist who was openly interpreting the SoC guidelines in the least favorable way to me) and didn't want to risk having to go through that a second time.

My motivation to detransition is a very poor emotional state that developed in the course of this attempt to transition, largely as a result of gatekeeper crap (heavy attempts by self-proclaimed trans-friendly physicians to dissuade me from transitioning, including telling me lies about medical facts, and toying with my doses - I had 14 E dose changes in 3.5 years due to this.)

[Tristan]

I'm sorry. I think alot of people try going back. Sometimes it's the right choice and other times not. However you find out as I did that depending on how you look now and if you have had srs it can be hard to go back to your old gender role. People tend to still call you by what they aee

[Agent_J]

I doubt SRS will be a significant part of it. That was an insignificant change to my body.

For me, it's about trying to gain badly needed emotional and mental stability.

[Anatta]

I am post-op and still consider it. In fact, for much of the past year, the only thing delaying me was getting through GCS. My view was simply that if I detransitioned I would simply need to transition again (what would be my 3rd attempt; my first was in 1994) in another 5-10 years, and having gone through 5 years of gatekeeper crap this time only to have to do the same again in a decade. SRS was particularly gatekept from me (I was required to do two years of RLE to get access by a therapist who was openly interpreting the SoC guidelines in the least favorable way to me) and didn't want to risk having to go through that a second time.

My motivation to detransition is a very poor emotional state that developed in the course of this attempt to transition, largely as a result of gatekeeper crap (heavy attempts by self-proclaimed trans-friendly physicians to dissuade me from transitioning, including telling me lies about medical facts, and toying with my doses - I had 14 E dose changes in 3.5 years due to this.)

Kia Ora Agent_J,

I hope you find peace within...Give it time...

Metta Zenda

[Northern Jane]

I didn't make a passable male when I was supposed to be one! After almost 40 years on this side of the fence, detransition would be laughable!

[Tristan]

I didn't make a passable male when I was supposed to be one! After almost 40 years on this side of the fence, detransition would be laughable!

Haha you know that's so true. After a while going back is just not possible. But you can always learn to like the new you and new toy in place of the old one...wink...wink.....

[Northern Jane]

But you can always learn to like the new you and new toy in place of the old one...wink...wink.....

LOL! That all happened a LONG time ago!

[LauraGirl]

I couldn't do it. I would rather kill myself first. Going back to living as a male would be soul destroying.

I can only agree. Going back would kill me. I am so happy to be able to live as myself, as a woman at any time.

[Joelene9]

  An update since my last post on this thread since January.  Any detransitioning thoughts had subsided.  I am still in the middle and consider myself non-op due to my finances, older age, and my improved mental state.  A case of neuropathy in both feet had me down this past winter.  This has been going on for at least 20 years disguised as psoriasis pain that morphed into a different kind of pain that my doctor could not find a cause for as of yet.  HRT usage, diabetes, gout, and the other liver and kidney tests showed negative for anything.  Other tests are too expensive for me now, but I may be put on disability for this that may help in finding the cause. 

  Joelene