Anyone felt like this?:

[EmmaS]

Hi again,

I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt similar to how I have been feeling during my transition so far. I've noticed that I feel really sad and have a lack of interest for things I usually enjoy pretty much all the time right now and I feel really stressed because although my big goal right now is to start being full time, I'm not even close to accomplishing that. I often feel really alone and sometimes I am alone and sometimes I'm not when I feel this way. I'm super excited about the changes I'm seeing physically and mentally but aside from that I just feel sad pretty often. I'm not sure if the root is that I want to move faster in my transition and unfortunately I'm not or if it's something else. If anyone has felt this way, how can I not feel so alone/sad etc?? I would really like to know because I feel like I have so much to look forward to yet my emotions don't seem to reflect that 

[A]

The best way is to try not to think or obsess about where you are versus where you would like to be too much. Since I have ADD and a weird personality, this isn't too hard for me: my mind skips over things to think about constantly, without me wanting it to, and not getting too down about things because I forget them often is one of the very few advantages of this abnormal behaviour. But even normal people can do that. Keep your head busy with other things.

Also, in some people, estradiol can cause depression, temporarily or not, as a side effect. It's a possibility. If you're in the unlucky boat of those who need estradiol for happiness yet it gives you an "artificial" depression, and it's permanent (the chances are probably low if it's any consolation), perhaps your only solution would be to take both estradiol and depression medication. But before you get to that point, make sure, with a therapist if needed, it truly is a medication side-effect, and that it truly won't be going away.

[EmmaS]

Yeah for some reason I haven't brought it up with my psychologist at all nor when I go to the doctors when they give the sheet to fill out. I even read the sheet and knew I was feeling that way but I just acted like I was fine or something but then I go home and I feel miserable and sad and alone. I can't pinpoint when this feeling started but it's been a while and I started hormones 3.5 months ago, let's hope that's not why I'm like this then?

[A]

Yeah. Talk about this to your psychologist first. Chances are the cause is psychological rather than chemical. Besides, when you start consciously hiding problems to the people who matter, it's often a big sign of how much you should tell those things.

And even if it's undoubtedly the estradiol, as long as your doctor understands the importance of HRT for you and doesn't want to terminate it because of the side effect, it's not the end of the world. Taking anti-depressants, as long as you don't have a prescription-happy doctor who gives horse doses of 4 meds at a time, is not so bad at all, if what you get in exchange is the possibility happiness. And remember, even if it's the estradiol, it doesn't mean i

[EmmaS]

Well I definitely think I will but I'm not hiding this from the people who matter to me, those who matter to me in my life up to now already know. How can a psychologist even know if it's chemical or psychological anyways? Thanks for the advice and help by the way, I really appreciate it.

[A]

I meant, the people who matter all short. Who matter to you emotionally, or who matter because they are implied in your health.

And how can the psychologist know... They're an expert in psychology. They should be quite apt at finding or not finding the psychological cause of a problem. And if they can determine it's not psychological, it pretty much equals determining it's physical. The doctor can do the rest.

Besides, psychologists nowadays are trained about medication and side-effects. One of those I've seen in the past even strongly advocated for psychologists to have the right to prescribe medications.