How do you do things?

[muuu]

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[Sarah Blomsterhatt]

Might not help, but me, I just do them. When it's something I'm really just putting off not no other reason then say nerves, one trick that I use to force myself into doing it is to put myself in a situation where I "can't go back". Now that situation is almost never truly "can't go back", but it's a line I've given myself in my head, that when I cross it, I can't turn back.

Example, I HATE making phonecalls, both to people I know, and people I don't know. I can walk around my appartment for over an hour, phone in hand. The "point of no return" I got is when the phone is dialing the number, when I've pressed the button. So when I have to make that phonecall I try to think of nothing, or anything, anything other then making a phonecall, I'm just pressing a button. And then it's dialing, I HAVE to make the phonecall now, and it normally works out brilliantly.

Not sure if it's of any help.

[Heather]

I want to cut my hair, and has almost decided how I want to cut it... it will probably take a few more days until I'm reasonably decided on one.
Anyhow, I want to get this done this week or possibly next week. But I know, from experience, how I am and how I deal with things. So once I've decided for a hair cut I'll have to go to the hairdresser, which will be really hard and if I do it the normal way it'll take me weeks to get it done.

So how do I do things without taking forever to do them?
Yeah, I don't think there's an answer to it, but I'm getting desperate.

Once you make up your mind just do it that's what I do. Just go for it you only live once. That's the best advice I can give.

[Adam (birkin)]

I have the same problem. I get ideas of what I want to do but sometimes, for whatever reason, I get anxious and don't follow through. Even simple things can sometimes be a challenge.

I tell myself "if I don't do it now, it will never get done, or it will get done too late." That tends to be the truth in all of my experiences, so I just remind myself that it's not going to be any easier later on than now.

[Emily Aster]

I do the exact same thing, but eventually I reach a point where I have to make a decision and I jump in with both feet and don't worry about the consequences until they happen. If I kept focusing on the why nots, I'd never walk out the door.

[lydia_s]

You just have to do it. Otherwise it won't get done and you'll always want it to get done. I used to be exactly the same way. Go ahead and get your hair done how you want. You'll walk out the door with your hair cut the way you want it and you'll feel great. .

[muuu]

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[A]

I have this awful habit of postponing things uselessly, in fear. Fear of what? Nothing. I'm not always fearful. I even like it, sometimes. But I'm afraid of "something". Then I tend to do things better when I'm:

1. feeling pressured to do it right here, right now, like when working in class with the teacher and all, or
2. feeling I have someone supporting me and expecting/hoping success of me, like going shopping, which I never do alone, but love to do with someone, or
3. in a busy state..

I think number 3 is your best bet. When I'm in "work mode", I want to do all sorts of useful things that I've been postponing. Or rather, I tell myself that I won't remember them later, or they'll be too intimidating later, and that now is the time. For example, when on the bus or walking home from school, I have this strong urge to do my important phone calls. Don't be afraid to do it while buying some goods, or whatever. It will feel like much less of a big deal if you're choosing pasta sauce at the same time.

If that won't work, I know you're reluctant to having others support you, but 1. and 2. work great.

For the appointment itself, I suggest you book for a longer time (they'll charge you for a brushing instead of a haircut, which isn't a huge amount of extra money), bring a few haircuts you'd maybe like (print pictures or drawings, or even draw them yourself), and ask them to help you choose carefully.

Oh, and from experience. Don't go for that nice girl without a diploma who's nice but has strong opinions. If it happens like it did to me, she'll try to influence you and/or be stubborn in doing mostly what she wants, and it'll end up bad. The busy/not too talkative kind aren't the best either, because those "just do what the customer asked for", acting a bit like machines, in an effort not to insult you. But what you need isn't to be just done what you want. It's your first "real" haircut and you're no expert.

Even if it's a bit more expensive, I think you should aim for someone with a real expertise who will truly take the time to help you choose the best haircut for you, and explain their suggestions properly. That's more or less what I'll be trying to do when I get a haircut.

[Heather]

I use that technique for phone calls too. But making a phone call doesn't require as much effort as doing bigger things, so it's easier to reach the "point of no return" with a phone call.
To cut my hair I'll first have to put on a jacket and shoes, go outside and then I'll have to head for that saloon. I did find their number (I think...) though, so maybe I could just book a time at them that way, would make it easier to force myself into it.

Maybe I'm not sure enough on a haircut to do it, but I don't think I could find any haircut I'd be satisfied with, like everything would look horrible on me and I'm so used to my horrible hair already. If my hair ends up bad, I can't really change my mind and get it back to re-cut it. I still know I have to do it though (once I'm "sure" about the cut), and waiting is just going to make things worse, which is partly why I really want to get it done "now".
After I've cut it I'll probably isolate myself completely for a while, until I've adjusted myself to it and like when I'm confident enough in it to see people I "knew" before it (grocery/drug store + psych). Pathetic thing is, I'm not exactly looking for a very feminine cut -.- ... but well, that's just how I expect myself to react, maybe I don't.

muuu life takes effort if you don't put yourself out there you will never get anywhere. I used to be afraid to shop for women clothes I couldn't even enter a women's section in a store without my heart racing I was so afraid. Until one day I said to myself how do you ever aspect to live as a women if you can't even buy clothes. So I began to realize I had a fear and was not going to let it conquer me. So I started forcing myself to shop at first I would just hurry buy what I came for and get out as fast as I could. Which if you want the right size is not a good idea! But after a couple of weeks of I came to realize I was getting more and more comfortable shopping for clothes and nobody really seemed to care that I was buying women's clothes I would get a few stares here and there but nobody really cares. And the next thing I realized I was spending hours shopping instead of minutes. The point I'm trying to make is if you sit around and let your fear control you will get no where in life. And sure want ever reach your goals in life. So please go get your hair cut do it for yourself.

[Jennygirl]

Proceed with caution at first if you need to, baby steps!

Once you gain some confidence, repeat the process until you've built yourself up enough to repeat the process!

Reaching a goal is nothing without a slightly unexpected journey getting there.

And such is life. The never ending and unreachable desire for the perfect livelihood. It's what makes us human, it keeps us ticking. We are no different from anyone else in this world- we just might have a different journey. "It's all relative". People all struggle with doing things in life, no amount of money, happiness, or luck will ever change that.

Best to take it at your own pace, know yourself and what your limits are. Understanding yourself will lead you down the path of the least resistance. Just be willing to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time, or you'll never make any progress.

[justmeinoz]

Have you tried a calendar and a "to do" list?

[muuu]

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[Catherine Sarah]

In short, and in answer to your question. Recognise the fact you suffer from procrastination to some degree. Procrastination is a recognised psychological disorder, hence remediation is not as simple as making list etc.

The cause needs to be identified in order to remediate successfully. A general therapist will be able to assist you in overcoming this disorder. Generally speaking a DIY approach doesn't work.

You have a choice. Either seek professional assistance and be freed from this annoyance forever, or, do nothing and sit back and watch the increased frustration, anxiety and depression take control and destroy you.

Huggs
Catherine

[muuu]

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[Emily Aster]

My pace is like "lay in bed till you die" speed, so I'm trying to speed up and do things I'm not comfortable with, otherwise I won't get anywhere.

I've hit this pace before and it's a downward spiral. When you have the courage to do something, there's something blocking you from doing it, like you haven't hit the shower yet or you haven't done laundry, or you're in your pajamas, or whatever. So you don't do it. And it repeats and repeats until you get to a point where you're actually scared to do things that didn't used to scare you. If it's obstacles, real or perceived, that you use to stop you from trying, you need to focus on eliminating them every morning so they're not there when that moment of courage hits.

For me, it started with a fear of driving in parking lots to such an extent that I wouldn't go anywhere that had a crowded lot. If I could park in the very back so I didn't have to deal with other cars when I was pulling out, I was fine. It then progressed to being anti-confrontational in everything. I started driving an extra 10 miles out of my way to avoid a single intersection that gets congested. Then I progressed to actually changing residences so I could walk instead of having to drive. Eventually I ran into confrontations on my walking route and did the same thing with that. It then spiraled out of control into social situations too.