Menstruation

[muuu]

.

[Lady_Oracle]

I read this article forever go and bookmarked it. Some Cis women also so suffer from not having to be able to get pregnant/ have a period.

I hope it everyone here reads it

http://hellogiggles.com/no-im-not-pregnant-and-ill-never-be

Edit:

Wanted to add there's a line in that article that I feel we can relate with a lot. "How do you mourn what does not exist? What is the process for that?" I started tearing up after I read that part 

[~RoadToTrista~]

I read this article forever go and bookmarked it. Some Cis women also so suffer from not having to be able to get pregnant/ have a period.

I hope it everyone here reads it

http://hellogiggles.com/no-im-not-pregnant-and-ill-never-be

I'm slightly curious as to whether women with that condition are still able to have biological children via a surrogate.

[Shantel]

I read this article forever go and bookmarked it. Some Cis women also so suffer from not having to be able to get pregnant/ have a period.

I hope it everyone here reads it

http://hellogiggles.com/no-im-not-pregnant-and-ill-never-be

Edit:

Wanted to add there's a line in that article that I feel we can relate with a lot. "How do you mourn what does not exist? What is the process for that?" I started tearing up after I read that part 

Yes absolutely the right attitude to take! I read the article and all I can say is, "Whew what a dear gal!"

[Nicolette]

I agree with you for the most part but the cycling up and down monthly is actually what really stimulates female development which 99% of the so-called transgender expert physicians overlook while they continue to prescribe HRT that is typical for postmenopausal women who are long past their developmental phase. Natal women have a high estrogen level during the first half of their cycle along with a four or five day increase in prolactin levels early on during the second half of the cycle the estrogen level decreases and the progesterone levels increase. A woman's cycle is one month from period to period, it's this up and down cyclic activity that accounts for the feminization of their own bodies rather than just a flat rate of estrogen month after month. Once I figured this out I experienced some pretty good development. This of course has to be done under a doctor's supervision.

Very interesting. I will mention this to my current gender specialist. My estrogen level is at a permanent high for an average women. That can't be too healthy.

[Victoria L.]

Oh, yes! I'm so glad I'm not alone! Ever since puberty started, this has become something that I have always felt very dysphoric about. I have felt pretty alone on feeling this way about it, but I can't help it, it's just one more thing I feel like I should be getting to experience, and I feel robbed not having it.

I was shocked that my friends who are girls who I came out to at least acted understanding. I'd expect them to be the last that would understand. "What in the world, why would you want to go through this? Are you crazy?!". But they never said that. Even though they might have felt it.

Still it's something that is very embarrassing to talk about with anybody... Even to post it on here. 

[Clarity]

I've also wished several times that I could have a period. My female friends have commented a number of times that I should feel lucky that I don't have to experience them. To me, I feel like I'm missing out on part of being female. I realize that women aren't defined by whether or not they have a period, but I still feel like I would like to experience it at least one time. I have a period tracker app on my phone that I use. I've gone to wearing maxi pads for the days that I'm supposed to have my period according to the tracker.

[Rena-san]

I have a period tracker app on my phone that I use. I've gone to wearing maxi pads for the days that I'm supposed to have my period according to the tracker.

Yep, this is what I'm doing too. The app itself is nice because it allows me to atleast track my emotions and physical symptoms. I also like it because it shows me the moon cycle. I marked the day I started hormones as the first day of a three day period.

I'm glad a few here feel the same as me.

[muffinpants]

While I can understand why you ladies regret not being able to have a menstrual cycle, maybe I can describe my experience with it and make yall feel a little better!! To me, it's something I dread every month, I don't get pms-ey- I've never felt much different emotionally while on it, but it is ever so painful. Before I started birth control pills, I was a very 'heavy flower'. That was the worst. I had to make sure I overlapped my advil taking schedule just to avoid being in excruciating pain (midol puts me to sleep for some reason), it lasted the full 7 days, it made me extremely anemic and exhausted all the time, and I had to sleep with extra.. like coverage so that I wouldnt mess up my bed at night. Because no matter what I did, what I wore or tried, it never failed to leak out. When it was like that.. gosh I don't know how I even survived it, sometimes I would just take sleeping pills so I could try to sleep it off. It was so bad. It's a lot better now, being on bc pills, but still.. that experience is something I lived through for like 7 years. Even though it's better now, it's still very uncomfortable walking around wearing pads, or knowing 'guh, gotta keep these things with me so I can change it soon'. To me it's all just a frustrating nuisance. I don't mean to try to undermine any of your feelings by the way, I just figured my horror story could maybe help some of you feel better about not having to deal with that aspect of life!

[Shantel]

My cis female spouse and I are older now, she no longer has to endure that, I do recall how she suffered though. I came home from work one grey, overcast afternoon and noticed the vacuum cleaner standing alone in the middle of the living room. The lights were not on and it was rather dismal. I called out, "Laura, where are you honey?" I could hear a faint voice coming from the bedroom, ""Ooh, I'm here!" she replied. I walked down the hall and looked in the bedroom and there she sat in the middle of the bed, very tiny and pale in her flannel nightie. She had dark circles around her eyes, the color had gone out of her face, if the dresser drawers had started opening and shutting on their own and she had thrown up at that moment it would have been a scene straight out of "The Exorcist."

She always had a miserable time of it, I was always felt so bad for her. In essence we suffered her periods together, and eventually menopause with me waking up in the middle of the night freezing my ass off, windows wide open and the covers off while she went through drenching night sweats. I did my best to fix meals and take care of things around the house during those trying times. In reality I never did have any menstrual envy knowing how miserable and messy it can be for a woman. Most women are repulsed by the messiness of it, and though there are means to keep it tidy the idea of having to endure it on a monthly basis truly sucks.

[Clarity]

Yep, this is what I'm doing too. The app itself is nice because it allows me to atleast track my emotions and physical symptoms. I also like it because it shows me the moon cycle. I marked the day I started hormones as the first day of a three day period.

I'm glad a few here feel the same as me.

I have also thought of using a period tracker to track my emotions during HRT. I actually should hopefully be starting on HRT tomorrow so already having the app should come in useful.

[Elspeth]

I'm sorry, I don't know why anyone would have menstruation envy. Seeing how bad my roommate gets, i'm rather glad I don't have to deal with it. Not to mention she constantly tells me how good I have it because I don't have to deal with it. Pregnancy envy I can understand though.

I think it's a matter of strong sympathy. I also went through major couvade when my ex was pregnant with our children. And I had a pretty strong sense of wanting to go through the menstrual cycle in my teens, when I was spending most of my time hanging out with other girls my age, listening to them share an experience that, while largely unpleasant, was a major rite of passage for them in setting their identity as girls. At least that was my impression. I was careful not to share my feelings on this too openly at the time (though I think I probably did mention it to one or two friends back then).

I can understand not wanting something negative, or making the best of things.

Be careful with tampons, btw. Not sure what the risks are, but anal tissues are not nearly as resiliant as vaginal ones, so you might want to consider some other way of simulating if that's something that works for you (not MoO, but anyone else reading who happens to be thinking of ways to use this as a coping mechanism -- it's definitely something I've seen other mention from time to time).

[muuu]

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[pretty pauline]

Oh, and never Never NEVER use a tampon!!!!
Bad move.
The tampon did it's job and promptly absorbed the blood and also swelled in size, as it's supposed to, keeping anything from leaking out.  When I tried to remove it a few hours later I found that the plug was almost immovable!  It had swelled so much that I couldn't budge it.  I was tempted to tie the string around a door knob and slam it.

You described it so well Sandy with humour, I only used tampons once and once was enough. I had incontinent problems from my srs and lived in pads for nearly 2years, just girly problems, pads in certain situations are a girl's best friend.

[mm]

I know of no girl who likes getting her period every month, with the pain and mess that goes with it.  A few may like the first few times as it is something new, they are growing up, and there is usually little pain or flow to take care of.  My cramps last about 2 days and are no fun at all.  Put a tampon only in a vagina as it can dry out and damage tissue in any other opening.  I will be so glad when mine end permanently.

[Shantel]

I know of no girl who likes getting her period every month, with the pain and mess that goes with it.  A few may like the first few times as it is something new, they are growing up, and there is usually little pain or flow to take care of.  My cramps last about 2 days and are no fun at all.  Put a tampon only in a vagina as it can dry out and damage tissue in any other opening.  I will be so glad when mine end permanently.

Remember that spate of toxic shock syndrome we read about a few years ago? It's easy living the busy lifestyles we all have for a natal female to forget that she has a tampon in her vagina, it doesn't take long for everything to go bad. We have to change dressings on sever bleeding wounds often lest an awful life threatening infection would occur. For that same reason those plugs have to be changed frequently. Seems as if people have taken note of that as we don't see those articles in the news anymore.

[sarahgrant]

As an affirmation of womanhood, the answer has to be YES YES YES !

But from a practical perspective the downsides make it much less attractive.

[Elsa.G]

I don't believe that no woman likes getting her period, I remember my younger sister would sometimes complain about hers when it came around, she was the devil when she got that thing- irritable, depressed and she would just yell at everyone, i don't even think she realized it sometimes until it was over how grouchy and mean she became. Anyway i remember about 2 years ago she stopped getting her period because of a hormonal problem she had, at first it didn't bother her but after maybe 2 months of not having a period she told me she didn't feel right because she wasn't getting them- and after 3 or 4 months she would actually cry sometimes because she didn't get it, I asked her why she cried and she said because she didn't feel like it was right to not get it she said to me "i don't feel like a healthy woman without my period" she even said, even though its a pain in the @s$ it makes me feel like everything is working right. Anyway a few months after she started taking vitamins and eating healthier foods and before we knew it- tada! it appeared again and it's been normal ever since. So personally i think even though some women might complain and say they hate it, i don't think they would ever skip out on having it just because it's uncomfortable- some would i think but i think for other's it makes them feel like a woman, at least that's what i learned from my sis. As for getting one myself, you bet i would

[Rena-san]

As an affirmation of womanhood, the answer has to be YES YES YES !

Yes, this is what I would agree with. I would rather have a horrible monthly period with bleeding and cramps and everything else but be a natal fertile woman than not have it and be what I am now. I feel fake. An impostor.
For me, not having a period is a curse not a blessing. I can never be empathetic with real women, just sympathetic and envious.

And I know the argument can be made that there are natal women who don't have periods; there are intersex individuals who externally appear female but internally lack female sex organs. I would guess that of these people, there are a few who also just wish they could be healthy fertile females with a monthly reminder of their womanhood. No matter how discomforting and painful it may be it is natural and an experience that only natal real fertile women can have. I would never be proud, joyful, or relieved by the fact I can't menstruate. I would never say, "I'm sure glad I don't have periods. It sounds so painful and discomforting." I'd rather have perpetual daily period like symptoms and feel whole and real.


I just found this article: http://mirrorofisis.freeyellow.com/id51.html
It's kinda wierd, and I didn't do more than skim it yet. But it seems to capture the essence of menstruation and what it means to HUMANS--man or woman.

[Elspeth]

I just found this article: http://mirrorofisis.freeyellow.com/id51.html
It's kinda wierd, and I didn't do more than skim it yet. But it seems to capture the essence of menstruation and what it means to HUMANS--man or woman.

Fascinating piece. I was about to avoid adding anything more to this thread, but it occurs to me, especially after looking at that piece, that there's another example here of how our place in society (as well as that of women in general) has been so affected by the kind of imposed negativity projected on female identities and female functions too.

My impulse before reading this had been to remark on how one of the big clues to me that I was profoundly different from other male-bodied people I knew, was the way that I was fascinated, when they seemed to be almost always repelled by anything related to menstruation, pregnancy and other common female functions. I hesitated to bring it up, mainly because I didn't want to spend most of my time caveating things to avoid offending anyone who didn't share my view, since it could have been read as a way of implying that such feelings could serve as a "test" of identity, when the reality for people raised in our culture is far, far more complicated, in many ways.