Does anyone else have this weird thought?

[ac110]

That cisgender doesn't really exist? I mean, how can I tell, maybe everyone else I saw on the street today  was uncomfortable with their birth sex and stuff expected of it at some point, but learned to deal with it, or hide it, maybe even like some aspect of it, just like I used to do, and that's a normal thing to do, that I'm just worse at it than everyone else, or temporarily weakened by all the other trouble going on in my life?

[lycheeblossom]

From an early age, I assumed that every "boy" must feel like this, and that it was just an unfortunate affliction that came with having a male body. I began to recognize that this wasn't true when I was still relatively young, but I think it remained a significant psychological setback for a very long time.

[FTMDiaries]

No, I recognised from a very early age that everyone else around me seemed to be perfectly comfortable with their own identity as a boy or a girl and that I was the only one who didn't get the memo.

Sure, many of us hide our dysphoria to try to get through life so there's a good chance we've all met dysphoric people without knowing it... but I'm convinced that cisgender is a very real thing.

We all hide things about ourselves from other people. That's normal.

[Keira]

Actually, yes. I've heard that the majority of children are genderfluid until they are socialized. Effectively, if socialization wasn't nearly as restrictive; cisgender would be a slightly broader category. But not by much.

(Edit)

Because cisgender is the "norm", it is what determines what transgender actually is. Thus, the majority of people are cisgender. Although, some do vary, they aren't different enough to be labeled as trans*.

[spacial]

From an early age, I assumed that every "boy" must feel like this, and that it was just an unfortunate affliction that came with having a male body. I began to recognize that this wasn't true when I was still relatively young, but I think it remained a significant psychological setback for a very long time.

This.

I went on to believe that they denied it because they were fooling themselves. Then a long list of other possible explainations.

Until, eventually I realised I was really looking to excuse myself for being me.

[Keira]

This.

I went on to believe that they denied it because they were fooling themselves. Then a long list of other possible explainations.

Until, eventually I realised I was really looking to excuse myself for being me.

I always thought that boys were acting tough and mean just to fit in...after all I was acting tough, and mean and I fit in...right? Lol

Albeit I can't claim that I always felt or knew that I was a girl. I was just different than the other boys; I was me.

[lycheeblossom]

Yep. I thought pretty much all masculine behavior was a total act. Sorry guys!

[suzifrommd]

It seems there really is something programmed into us. Until recently I did not have the idea I might be transgender, but SOMETHING in my brain told me that females are the people I should hang around, despite the fact that I'm male bodied and that the world seemed to assume that meant I'd want to hang around with them.

Likewise, something in my brain interested me in the female experience and lifestyle and made me uninterested in the things that usually interested males. This despite the fact that once again, the world seemed to assume otherwise.

[Keira]

Yeah, I know what you mean agfrommd.

It's like we get along too well with girls, and guys just assume that we are like them; but the guys end up with this recoil reaction as though they had just been insulted (when we don't respond in the expected way). Girls that don't know us think we're either eccentric, creepy, or coming on to them; effectively they just don't respond when we talk to them (most of the time).

This would be the definition of social dysphoria. Which would also explain the physical dysphoria as being the result of wanting to be perceived and treated as the opposite sex. The other theory is that the "brain map" results in body dysphoria and phantom genitalia. But I don't know how much evidence the latter theory has.

[ac110]

Yeah, I know what you mean agfrommd.

It's like we get along too well with girls, and guys just assume that we are like them; but the guys end up with this recoil reaction as though they had just been insulted (when we don't respond in the expected way). Girls that don't know us think we're either eccentric, creepy, or coming on to them; effectively they just don't respond when we talk to them (most of the time).

I'm not sure, I always managed to be "one of the girls" purely socially, as far as possible without actually looking and being brought up like one... It's when I really came on to them when it all usually crumbled, - basically everything I'm supposed to do in that situation as a guy feels ultra-creepy to me, and at a guess, no better for them...

[Beth Andrea]

Given how many trans-people have major AND minor self-doubts, and how long it takes to overcome those ...its reasonable that there are more cis-people who suspect they're trans, but dont dare reveal it to their loved ones, or even to themselves.

[Keira]

Given how many trans-people have major AND minor self-doubts, and how long it takes to overcome those ...its reasonable that there are more cis-people who suspect they're trans, but dont dare reveal it to their loved ones, or even to themselves.

It's probably because a lot of trans people don't usually fit into trans stereotypes. Ironically, the stereotypes are mostly created by gatekeepers forcing trans people into the binary. Although there will be trans people who do fit into the stereotypes, there are few and far between that fit the mold perfectly.

The worst part is that most of these doubts are illogical when examined on paper (as I found out today).

[Lesley_Roberta]

To answer the OP.....nope.

My brother is clearly 100% male, and my sister is equally 100% female.

And I am the middle kid in the family, and the odd one like always, unique, different, not the usual.

I have no worries that the cliche standard vanilla forms of gender exist.

Actually, when I look at most people, I tend to think of them just like that eh, vanilla, standard issue and BORING.

Part of me actually pities the boring vanilla people.

[TanaSilver]

It's kind of funny for me, although I accept that cis-gendered people don't feel like I do, I can't help but look at a man and think, deep down, he must be bummed to be a man. I am aware that I am totally just projecting my own dysphoria on other people, but I can't help it lol

[Emily Aster]

I'd love to say cis-gender doesn't exist because that could certainly explain mine moving around so much, but I have no doubt that my physical dysphoria is very real, even if the gender dysphoria is just related to societal standards.

[FTMDiaries]

I can't help but look at a man and think, deep down, he must be bummed to be a man. I am aware that I am totally just projecting my own dysphoria on other people, but I can't help it lol

I get something similar when I see little girls dressed in hyper-girly clothing, with pink ribbons & frills & stuff. I always think to myself that I really hope those clothes were the child's choice, and not forced on them by their parents like mine did to me.