My First Steps

[Jason_S]

Hi everyone,
Today being my birthday I decided to push the boat out as you could say. Not as far as wearing all girls clothes on the outside, I wanted to wear a dress but thought I don't think it would be very good as only my mum knows  , but girls clothes underneath. I bought this interesting looking piece of clothing which is used to thin or make yourself look more shaped. As I can admit, I'm a little on the tubby side after my horrendous last year and feeling depressed for most of it.

My first step though would be starting to lose weight. As I did cycling a bit in the past I thought I'd take it up again. so I used my savings and bought myself a new white & silver bike. In the past 4 months alone I've managed to lose an ENTIRE STONE. It feels amazing. My jeans actually fell off, very embarrassing at the time, but still.

Then I started buying my first female clothes. I thought I'd just start with the basics like underwear and things that don't really show to get myself used to all the choices available. Amazingly though, when these shaping outfits arrived I just went to the bathroom and put it straight on. I stared at myself in the mirror for what seemed hours. Its nice to imagine what I will look like in the future. In fact, I've been wearing it under a slightly tighter shirt which didn't used to fit me. A sucked in my tummy just a little bit as its still a bit chubby and I was even sat at the table having dinner with it on underneath  .

I can't wait to start trying new clothes, I was thinking of getting some slightly skinnier jeans perhaps and just trying the more casual clothes before heading into the realm of dresses and skirts.

[Rachel]

Happy birthday.

I too look to change the underside too. Good luck!

[Jason_S]

Hmm, this is difficult. The more I explore, the more I hate what I am. Well, more what I look like.
I've started noticing my long body hair more, its severely uncomfortable and my genital area is frustrating me.
Its horrible, I feel better on the inside and have built some confidence I was severely lacking.
But I still end up retreating to my pc and headphones to play games as a girl and listen to music.

I'm afraid to go and see my gp because I haven't seen the new person that replaced my old gp.
And I don't feel right going to him and then attempting to explain to him what I'm going through.
What do I do? I need help.

[spacial]

Take your time.

Once you go to your GP, you will have nothing to fear. You have done nothing wrong. The problem you have is a recognised condition in the UK. It won't result in someone standing up, pointing the wicked finger and ordering you hauled off to the bonfire.

Even if the GP is negative, and I honestly think it unlikely, you can insist upon a referral elsewhere. But remember, always be calm, firm and very friendly. Never get annoyed.

As for going out, again, take your time. You have a lot to deal with. You've come so incredably far and you will go further.

But for now, catch your breath for your next step.

[Jason_S]

Oh and I thought I'd actually post a picture of what I am like now. The lighting is terrible but I took it on my phone.

http://i1287.photobucket.com/albums/a639/Laura_300/001_zps26040df6.jpg

Hopefully that link will work.

[spacial]

It works fine.

Thank you.

[Jason_S]

I've had a really bad heasache all day today. 
I decided to go for it and book an appointment with my gp tomorrow morning. Both to help me with my next steps and to get eid of this headache. Parts of my body also started hurting a lot today, which includes my chest, legs and arms. Not 100% why but I hope it doesnt last too long. The headaches hurt a lot on their own.

[spacial]

It sounds like flu.

Great news about the GP. I hope he isn't the type to get annoyed when people turn up with flu! Mine is!!

[Jason_S]

"crying" that hurt a lot. I'm drowning it in my music game the way I feel right now.
I overheard my dad talking about what he thinks of gay people as he was watching the news.
He hates them, he said he would basically abandon a family member if one of them was gay.
What do I do? How is it possible to say anything to him at all??

[suzifrommd]

"What do I do? How is it possible to say anything to him at all??

Not knowing him, I can't say.

But if he is a compassionate person, educating him might help. If he understands that gay and transgender people don't choose to be that way, that could go a long way toward blunting his intolerance. Learning about the suicide and depression rate among gay and transgender people might help as well.

If he is closed-minded to the point of refusing to believe these facts, then there probably is no hope, but otherwise it certainly worth a try. Sometimes repeating facts enough times gives someone who needs educating a chance to digest their implications and temper their world view.

[Jason_S]

Maybe, I've always got on well with my dad but I'm starting to wonder why.
I'm sure he'd just dismiss it as he normally does with things.
I'm going to see my gp tomorrow anyway whether he knows or not.

[spacial]

What do I do? How is it possible to say anything to him at all??

You either live for yourself or in fear of him.

He can either accept you as you are or lose you.

But sometimes people say things, not because they necessarily agree but because they have a need to say somehting for a particular moment. (Like the guy who laughs at a racist joke with some friends, before meeting up with another friend who is black!).

[Jason_S]

Well, I drove through the words my dad said and went to see a gp today. She was very nice and passive, didnt judge me at all. We talked and laughed a bit about my past experiences and what I am feeling now.
Apparently her last employment was with helping other trans people. So she has a lot of experience.

But I'm super lucky though as a gender therapist comes to that particular surgery a couple of times a month or so. She referred me to her straight away and I've got my first session on the 26th feb. I'm so excited. I can't wait.

[spacial]

I'd call that a major result.

[Shannon1979]

I havent gone out yet either. you might be surprised at how well skinny jeans fit though. i have to wear size 12 tops (UK) due to having fairly broad sholders. But and heres the kicker i have lost 3 stone in the last year but still have a slight belly, i brought size 12 skinny jeans and had to go buy some more in a size 8. the size 8's fit perfectly and the black slims the legs really well.

[Jason_S]

Hi Shannon,
I just have one problem with trousers. Tops aren't an issue as most of my height is in my legs. I need trousers with a 36" inside leg length. I can't seem to find any kind of decent chart or sizing guide anywhere. just got these Tall options size 8-18 which i have no idea how long the leg length is on them.

That's why I've always though I'd look nice in a dress as my lower leg length is very long and would probably stand out quite a lot.
I'm considering getting my back waxed and other areas I can't reach myself but I'm really frightened of having someone rip my hair out. And I can't really afford the special treatments on my rubbish income.

[Shannon1979]

i can relate to the being scared of the waxing. considering that myself. Same problem very hairy. As far as the trousers/Jeans go. as far as i can figure skinny jeans are generally made from a demin that stretches a bit. Probably has lycra in them or somthing. I origionally brought size 12 but found that they were far too big around the waist. In mens sizes i wear 32". i was initially a little worried about getting a smaller size as i dont have skinny legs. But i found that the size 8 for me worked well. the waist was right and the strech in the denim was plenty for my legs. I only require a 34 inside leg so regular is fine for me. I would suggest long for you. Dont spend a fortune either i got mine cheap from the super market. That way if you do get it wrong it doesn't cost the earth.

[Jason_S]

Hehe, ok. I'll have to give it a go. I found my body is actuaply naturally curvy. I bought some lingerie to wear and I lovethem. They fit really well and are much more comfortable thab my boxers I used to wear. I'm going to buy some more pairs .

I also bought myself some nightwear to put on when everyone else has.gone to bed. Its so soft, it also felt right. I didnt want to take them off when I woke this morning. I put my dressing gown on over the top qnd wore them for qn hour or so this morning even with my whole family walking round me. I didn't feel nervous at all.

I wonder what kind of shirts and tops I should get. Maybe try a pair of tights under my jeans to start  .

[spacial]

Hi Shannon,
I just have one problem with trousers. Tops aren't an issue as most of my height is in my legs. I need trousers with a 36" inside leg length. I can't seem to find any kind of decent chart or sizing guide anywhere. just got these Tall options size 8-18 which i have no idea how long the leg length is on them.

I know there are many Clothes Size Conversions Charts available on the net. Google the term

I havent gone out yet either.

If that's you in the photo then you really should. You look amazing. If your overly conscious, go out after dark for the first few times.

[Jason_S]

Well, its been an interesting few months and I would like to start taking further steps. Going to see the therapist on the 26th. I have so many questions to ask. At this monent though I have absolutely had it with my current genetals. If I had the choice available right now I would get it changes without thinking twice.
I can't go to the bathroom properly as it sticks out too far to sit on the toilet.

It sticks out when I get dressed which makes it virtually impossible to get my undies on. And when I finish having a shower and use moisturize on my body cause it goes dry after it absorbs most of the water.
I've started losing weight as well to get rid if my larger thighs and tummy. I want to get my entire body waxed to stop my hair growing back so quickly as it is really itchy.

If I could get sone advice on starting hrt or beauty tips before I go and see the therapist I think I would be more confident in asking.