first hateful person

[Jake_to_Jackie]

it was so horrible there is this new guy at work whome just lost his job at the little creaser in his town cause he was caught snorting coke in the bath room any way when he came here he asked"so howmany ->-bleeped-<-s work hee"and some people mentioned how are managers are gfay someone else spouted out i wise then my sarah said"no he is not gay...well ok yea he is lesbian but his boy is male and he like women" and the guy said "all thouse ->-bleeped-<-s are are ->-bleeped-<-s who cant get any pussy cause there dick is so small so they gotta act like freaks to make themselves feel like they got one cause thats the only way they will ever get pussy" it hurt bad i was near the point of crying i hated what he said and the worst part 2 or 3 people laughed and agreed with him and today i had to work with every single one of them i just want every one to know i do not do this as a form of compensation around all my friend i am more happy being able to expose my women hood (Edited by David W. Shelton - TMI) sense i have came out i have had five women hit on me and one girl i have liked since 9th grade feels closerand wants to start a relationship wih me now tha im more open and i was finnnaly able to love my brother again and was able to talk to him with out hateing him and what happend prejudice rears its ugly head...what if my parents do the same ior my broher im so sa scared anf embaressed

[David W. Shelton]

Jackie,

You have every right to be frustrated with the people you work with. One of the things I can say is that you need to consider the source here. A lot of people have this silly sense of masculinity that is so insecure that they feel like they have to cut down someone in order to elevate themselves.

It's tragic, really. Such people could learn much from those they don't understand. Instead, they just want to belittle and demean. It's their loss.

It doesn't have to define you. It SHOULDN'T define you. You're coming to terms with yourself which is a critical step in your journey. This isn't a barrier, my friend. It's just a speed bump. Speed bumps just mean that we need to slow down and move on so we don't wreck the axle.

Hate is just a reaction of an ignorant fool. Treat it as such and move on.

[Keira]

The reactions of the employees, may or may not mean they agree with that person. People often have nervous laughters when things like that are said.

Anyway, that guys sucks ass!!! If you can in anyway change job, do so because this will only bring you down! If that's how they react now, just imagine later!!

[RebeccaFog]

          I understand why you would feel bad. If you feel bad that's okay because once you've worked it through a little, you'll feel better. This will make you stronger in case there is another such incident. You have nothing to feel ashamed about. The jerk who had the gall to speak like in public is the one who should be ashamed and, maybe, someday he'll realize that for himself.

          Don't let yourself be discouraged. If you feel comfortable about doing it, you might want to let your fellow employees know that their behavior was hurtful to you and unfair. I mean, they should respect you completely or else they should have the decency to tell you they are uncomfortable with your situation and then they should still treat you respectfully.  They were also unfair to your manager whether or not the manager is gay is the manager's business and I'm sure they don't want people laughing at them about it.

         
          Sometimes, I wish I were like Supergirl. I would just fly out and take care of other peoples' jerks for them. Also, I would wear a really cool sports bra. 

[Laura Elizabeth Jones]

The reactions of the employees, may or may not mean they agree with that person. People often have nervous laughters when things like that are said.

Well, if I had been there I would have said something because there is absolutely no excuse for that kind of sickening bigotry and somebody should have spoke up. The reason that this crap is allowed to go on is because no one wants to speak up..well, screw that, people SHOULD say something when that hate speech is spewed and the people that say those hateful things should be tossed out of their jobs on their idiotic ass as far as I am concerned.

[Jonie]

As someone who, like you has been a recipient of ignorant comments and discrimination I have come to the conclusion that it's the enablers that are actually the biggest problem. People who just play along laughing at the ignorant behavior of others don't even have the excuse of not knowing any better, they're the worst kind of cowards. I say this because they could have the most impact on the troubles of this world if they would just let their voices be heard. However they remain silent because mustering up the courage to speak makes them feel uncomfortable, fear is the enemy. Knowledge is the solution.

[ShyGothGirl]

This should be brought to the attention of management, either directly (which is exactly how I would do it) or by means of an anonymous letter, if you have to go that route. There is no room for that kind of behavior in ANY professional work environment, and people that can't hold their tongue in the workplace and act in a respectful manner, despite their opinions (which they are completely entitled to, I have opinions I am sure others wouldn't agree with) should not be allowed to harass others either directly or indirectly.

If this guy is a new hire, chances are, he'll be right out the door. Me, personally, I would flat out TELL the manager exactly the way it happened, and I would make sure he KNEW that either this guy goes or I do... jobs are easy enough to find.

Anyway, I am sorry you had to deal with that hun. Most (if not all) of us have had to deal with similar situations and it is hard, but if no one does anything to act against this behavior, it will just continue.

I'm hurtin' for ya hunny... *hugz*

Love you!!!!

[Jeannette]

Why would you listen to that sort of filthy language?  I'd have just walked away from him/her/them?

[Pysgod]

I think I would have been hard pressed not to beat the ever living crap out of him. Assault charge or not.

[Maebh]

A bit of information that might be usefull especially if you spread it around the work-place. A few years ago a study showed that the majority of gay bashers do so in order to deny their own gay leaning. There is a fairly good chance that he might belong to this category. So you could approach him and tell him to relax and to stop dragging his knuckles on the floor. Since you don't mind he doesn't have to cover-up his deep seated leanings, just to be himself and stop acting like a jerk. That should blow up his mind, specially if you do it in public. I did it once in a pub and the jerk ran away on the verge of tears with every one clapping and laughing. Never seen him there again.

HLLL&R

Maebh

[ShyGothGirl]

I kinda agree with that study Maebh... I have noticed that alot of people that go out of their way to voice themselves in such ways publicly are actually saying to me "I am really interested, but to admit it would degrade my ego."

People do that in chat rooms and stuff that I go to and I have called some of them on it... they rarely return, and typically, if they see that I am there and say "welcome back" they take off real fast... hehehe, amazes me (and kind of saddens me) that some people are so afraid of self-exploration that they let that fear alone drive them to creating such a hateful disposition...

It's been said from a few studies that hate crimes against GLBT members are often far more "personal," I would assume for the same reason... 

[Jake_to_Jackie]

thanks you guys make me feel better i think im going to confrunt him in public

[ShyGothGirl]

Always welcome darlin'

[Nero]

hmm...I've snorted coke in many a bathroom. LOL
Sorry that guy was so rude.

[Laura Elizabeth Jones]

thanks you guys make me feel better i think im going to confrunt him in public

That sounds like a good idea.

[tinkerbell]

*sighs* I agree with Jeannette.  There are two types of people who really get on my nerves.  Stupid people and those who usually use foul language in their vocabulary.

tink

[Maebh]

thanks you guys make me feel better i think im going to confrunt him in public

Good idea this is the only way to deal with bullies.  But make sure that you are ready and well prepared. It would be a good idea to sound out a few of your co-workers and find some that agree with you and hopefully some that would be ready to support you.

Chin up and good luck.

HLLL&R

Maebh

[Suzy]

thanks you guys make me feel better i think im going to confrunt him in public

Good idea this is the only way to deal with bullies.  But make sure that you are ready and well prepared. It would be a good idea to sound out a few of your co-workers and find some that agree with you and hopefully some that would be ready to support you.

Chin up and good luck.

HLLL&R

Maebh

Yes, this is the best way.  Deal with it head on and get it over with.  And get your co-workers with you, since you have said they are supportive of you.

So very sorry you had to go through this.  Some say "It takes all kinds."  Not true.  I believe that there just are all kinds.  And that kind should not go unchallenged.  You are still a baby girl, and I'm worried about the blow this is to your self esteem.  Get a good night's sleep and you will feel better.  Think of graduation and freedom.

Kristi

[Jake_to_Jackie]

yea im ok now thats why im willing to confront him and since that happened my freind kidnapped me this morning and we drove around just having fun the whole time they adressed me as jackie or some sort of girl title like example mark opened the door for me and said ladies first and just piking on another freind of mine(and marks soon to be girlfreind GO MARK)jenna who said "im definetly going with you tomorrow i mean whats a girls freind with out her sisters when she gouse shopping"^_^ i love my freinds dearly and they show every day they love me no matter what i realised it douse not matter what insignificant people like him say cause for every one hateful word he says i can get thousands more loving ones from freind down here and on this fourm

with mountains of love
your sister,
Jackie

[Maebh]

i love my freinds dearly and they show every day they love me no matter what i realised it douse not matter what insignificant people like him say cause for every one hateful word he says i can get thousands more loving ones from freind down here and on this fourm

with mountains of love
your sister,
Jackie

Great. That the spirit girl! I'm really delighted for you.

HLLL&R

Maebh