Anyone notice that people are a whole lot nicer?

[suzifrommd]

There was an old SNL skit where Eddie Murphy dresses up as a white guy and finds out that white people are a lot nicer to him and give him free things.

(http://www.hulu.com/watch/10356 for those who want a stroll down memory lane).

Anyway he got a lot of laughs, because that's absurd.

But now that I go places presenting female, I find that people are A WHOLE LOT NICER to me than when I go around as a male. I've joined a women's reading group, and despite the fact that I really don't fit it - I'm a good 20 years older than the other women there, come from a different part of town, and they all know I'm Trans, they are REALLY friendly. It's like, because I look like a woman (or at least like I'm trying to look that way), they're no longer suspicious of me the way they are when I show them my male face.

Anybody else have experiences like these?

[Sarah Blomsterhatt]

I've had similar experiences, after I began going out dressed as a girl I noticed that people were generally nicer. No major differences, not people giving me compliments, or hold the door for me or anything, but small subtle differences that makes me smile every time.

[Nero]

Yes, but in reverse. Even men are a whole lot nicer and even gentler towards me. Course I already talked about this in my blog. And this despite the fact I always got on really well with men. Women are much kinder to me, much more willing to befriend and talk to me. I wonder if this phenomenon isn't about gender per se. But our transformation.
Or not. Maybe it's my weight. Everyone loves the fat guy. 

[Emily Aster]

I wonder if this phenomenon isn't about gender per se. But our transformation.

Or your confidence level. People respond well to confidence and respond very poorly to a lack of it.

[Sarah Blomsterhatt]

You might have a point there, and I know I've had the thought before. As you start living the way you want you become more happy, confident and comfortable and people can tell this and react more positivly to this.

[Anatta]

There was an old SNL skit where Eddie Murphy dresses up as a white guy and finds out that white people are a lot nicer to him and give him free things.

(http://www.hulu.com/watch/10356 for those who want a stroll down memory lane).

Anyway he got a lot of laughs, because that's absurd.

But now that I go places presenting female, I find that people are A WHOLE LOT NICER to me than when I go around as a male. I've joined a women's reading group, and despite the fact that I really don't fit it - I'm a good 20 years older than the other women there, come from a different part of town, and they all know I'm Trans, they are REALLY friendly. It's like, because I look like a woman (or at least like I'm trying to look that way), they're no longer suspicious of me the way they are when I show them my male face.

Anybody else have experiences like these?

Kia Ora Agfrommd,

When you're being 'true to yourself' other also see and feel this 'truth'...Call it 'projection'...

Metta Zenda

[peky]

There was an old SNL skit where Eddie Murphy dresses up as a white guy and finds out that white people are a lot nicer to him and give him free things.

(http://www.hulu.com/watch/10356 for those who want a stroll down memory lane).

Anyway he got a lot of laughs, because that's absurd.

But now that I go places presenting female, I find that people are A WHOLE LOT NICER to me than when I go around as a male. I've joined a women's reading group, and despite the fact that I really don't fit it - I'm a good 20 years older than the other women there, come from a different part of town, and they all know I'm Trans, they are REALLY friendly. It's like, because I look like a woman (or at least like I'm trying to look that way), they're no longer suspicious of me the way they are when I show them my male face.

Anybody else have experiences like these?

Could not have happened to a better Gal...you deserve ..everything...Love ...P

[Alainaluvsu]

Men are... women aren't. Women are less patient with me, especially if they're with their SO. Puts me in an awkward situation when I have to deal with a couple and the man smiles at me nicely and the girl stares daggers at me. But when women know I'm trans they are much more bubbly and sweet.

[Nero]

Men are... women aren't. Women are less patient with me, especially if they're with their SO.

That's cause you're hawt.

[Alainaluvsu]

That's cause you're hawt.

Aww Tyvm!!!

[crazy at the coast]

Overall, yes. But in my case, I attribute it to them not wanting to upset a crazy person.

[PHXGiRL]

wayyyy nicer! both guys and gals! I work in auto sales and I can honestly say my job has gotten easier now that I have transitioned at work. If I talk to a couple that walks on the lot first time ever. I usually end up putting them in a brand new car. They are nicer to me from the "get go" at the 1st hello they are nice. I no longer really need to build up a trust factor I have found too. My clients trust me more. As far as when it comes to negotiating the deal they don't fight me either. Last month sold the same amount of cars as always. I haven't lost a step and made more profit.

Outside of work EVERYone is nice too. Frequently at fast food restaurants i get free drinks, fries, nachos. lol. Lady at the nail place re-did my manicure free. I can say the world is a happier place now. The way it should be all together.

[Tristan]

i have to agree. people are way nicer to me now. especially guys. its really nice

[Walter]

Men are nicer to me. Women can sometimes be nice. But I have more bad experiences with men when it does happen..

[lindsey143]

I find People being much much nicer, treating me like a girl, and being sexiest as well, like, putting no stock in my opinion because I'm a girl. But men open doors for me, carry things for me, and everything. Some people with gaydar that happen to be bigots make comments sometimes, but they do so because of their own insecurities, they watched too much tgirl porn and find me attractive, and to look good and not gay in front of their buddies they say, "dude, watch out for the ->-bleeped-<-" And i find that term really offensive. Almost beat that guys ass right in the middle of walmart the other day, but my fiancee stopped me. I woulda took my heels off and beat him until he apologized, but she suggested we just mess with him, so we started making out in front of him and he left out quick.
     Then there are the women that may or may not realize i'm trans, and turn their noses up at me because they are jealous. But I just smile and say to myself...That's right b!+(H,  I'm hot $h!+ lol

[Noelle]

Only guys r nicer

[Tristan]

I find People being much much nicer, treating me like a girl, and being sexiest as well, like, putting no stock in my opinion because I'm a girl. But men open doors for me, carry things for me, and everything. Some people with gaydar that happen to be bigots make comments sometimes, but they do so because of their own insecurities, they watched too much tgirl porn and find me attractive, and to look good and not gay in front of their buddies they say, "dude, watch out for the ->-bleeped-<-" And i find that term really offensive. Almost beat that guys ass right in the middle of walmart the other day, but my fiancee stopped me. I woulda took my heels off and beat him until he apologized, but she suggested we just <not allowed> with him, so we started making out in front of him and he left out quick.
     Then there are the women that may or may not realize i'm trans, and turn their noses up at me because they are jealous. But I just smile and say to myself...That's right b!+(H,  I'm hot $h!+ lol

girl you should learn some Spanish. i would curse their buts out in Spanish if they acted like that. so far that has only had to happen once

[lydia_s]

Yes, I have noticed that a lot.  Living in a large, liberal college city is interesting. At this point I'm not really out as a female, rather a guy who dresses femininely (mostly due to my low voice). From what I've seen most initially read me as a girl but I intentionally don't follow through with it. From there they usually call me "bro" or "man" every time it's grammatically correct to do so, and are exceptionally nice to me. I think they're trying to show the surrounding people that they're open minded. On the same token people are often very rude to me when I'm dressed as a guy. Might be because I look like downright scum then :/.

[lindsey143]

If I were you id practice talking in front of a mirror, thats the way to learn to be a girl in a convo. You look like a cis-girl to me, so just go with it. I wouldnt hold back being a girl if I were you, the longer you wait the harder everything gets

[eli77]

Uh... the only times I've noticed people being dramatically nicer is when I've been out with my girlfriend. Apparently we are pretty cute together?? I dunno.

Otherwise, I think I'm a bit intimidating to be honest. Especially for guys. I'm six-foot tall, conventionally attractive (i.e. skinny white girl), and visibly queer. I don't get a ton of smiles from guys. Oh, except in the summer when I'm wearing a lot less clothes. But then it's more leers and catcalls than smiles. *Shrug*

Women are pretty nice to me. But then they were all smiles to me before anyway, since I looked like a queer fey boy.