You dear ones are continuing to inspire me! I love what you wrote and you encourage me to take some of those other little steps like creating a new email address etc. Here is my email coming out letter, if it will fit:
Hi there,
I recently let a genie out of the bottle and her name is Tessa. My plan was to slowly talk with family and close friends one to one. "News" like this spreads pretty fast and I am wanting to be the one to tell you. Soooo dear ones my compromise is to share the letter below. The bigger story, to me, is how wonderful, compassionate, caring and supportive this community is. When sharing my vulnerable and personal truth with others I have often been graced by profound and personal truths in return. I feel closer than ever to this fabulous community.
With love and an open mind,
Jim/Tessa
Subject: "Coming out"
Dear Family & Friends,
I would dearly love to have an opportunity to sit down with you and share this very personal disclosure. I would rather have you hear this from me and trust you will contact me if you have any questions. I am a transgendered person and have known I was different from other boys and men since childhood. As a kid in the 50's there was no language or understanding for what I felt. I believed I was a girl at times and would grow up to be a mom. I identified with my sisters and mother and preferred to think of myself as some kind of tomboy. I was effectively disabused of these ideas and mannerisms the hard school yard way. Boys act like this and girls act like this! For me it has never been a binary world. As you likely know, there are more people living in the grey zone, or LGBTQ continuum than are acknowledged by themselves or the public. The world is changing and now we do have more people who are out and proud of who they really are. I intend to proceed with dignity and respect for myself and others.
Mine is a long story of repression and the struggle to fit in, act like a man and deny what has been troubling me. The medical folks call it Gender Dysphoria and/or Gender Identity Disorder. I did everything I could to be a boy and man but my shadow feminine self remained. I have been working with a therapist and support group for sometime. Part of therapy is accepting myself and recognizing the truth. Being honest with myself includes "coming out" as a transgendered person. Part of being transgendered for me is to embrace who I am in a process known as transition. Transition can take years and many transgendered people remain private until they are "passable." My transition includes presenting or appearing in clothing/attire that is typically more feminine, where I am very comfortable. Also called "cross dressing" I am now out in public to a limited degree. As I gain confidence and proceed other changes may become more obvious; long hair and feminization in general.
These changes may be uncomfortable for some. It has taken me a lifetime to deal with my gender identity and I understand this may take time for others to process. I am a public figure and will no longer hide. In fact, I find this liberating, hopeful and freeing. It is also my hope that this will be an educational opportunity and help others. An "out" gay teenager committed suicide in LaGrande two weeks ago. We need no further tragedies to convince us that intolerance and bullying are unacceptable.
I have come out to many of my friends and family and am fortunate to have a large circle of support. I have shared this personal truth with many people and they have often graced me with some personal truth in return. I feel closer than ever to you and this community. My experience so far has been very positive and 180 degrees from what I feared. I envisioned my self as the bride of frankenstein being pursued by the villagers with pitchforks and torches. The truth is people are more understanding, caring and supportive than I anticipated.
My wife has known the truth all along and is very supportive. While I don't have a crystal ball, we do plan to remain together in a loving relationship that has lasted 40 years so far. Please feel free to contact me about any questions or concerns. I trust you to be sensitive with this disclosure and prefer to tell my own story but I will never ask you to lie. I do plan to be part of ongoing diversity presentations that will include that rainbow of people who are your friends and family. I welcome talking with you.
Thank you,
Jim/Tessa
