Well today I posted the following note telling my friends that I have officially started my transition. So far all the comments have been positive. I'm sure there will be the haters. But I'm ready for them.

QuoteAfter thinking things over I decided that it's time to tell everyone what I have been dealing with.

Most of you know what I have started, some don't.

Anyway since moving back to Massachusetts I have been seeing a psychiatrist. He helped me get through a rough time in my life. Moving into a nursing home was anything but easy for me, but physically I need to be in one.

But that's by far not the hardest part of my life. What I am about to say is any thing but easy but I need to say it here and now so here it goes.

I also told him about some thing that goes way back to childhood. About not feeling right within my own skin.

I have been diagnosed as Gender Dysphoric. Basically that means born as the wrong gender.

skip ahead a year and a half to two weeks ago I had an appointment up in Boston with a gender specialist.

The Doctor and I talked about a lot of things including Hormonal Therapy and concerns with me taking these drugs. I had done years and years of research on this and had wavered back and forth over the course of last summer what to to. Well the rewards out weigh the risks. I need to find happiness within myself. I walked out of the office with two perscriptions one a testostrone blocker and the other Estrogen.

So on Sunday January twentieth I took my first pills. Yes I am going to transition.

If you don't agree with what I am doing please feel free to delete me from your friends list.

I need support not haters. Any haters will be deleted anyway so please save me the trouble..

The last thing is some time in the future I will be changing my name here. How soon I'm not sure but I do have it picked out.

So there you have it.

Thank you for reading this.

That takes a lot of courage. Good for you. It's also an interesting idea to use social media to weed out undesirables instead of having to listen to them

Congratulations on the big step! Hugs, Devlyn

A big step, hopefully the haters will be few or none at all.

Congratulations. *hug*

I took a much more lazy approch myself, I just changed my name and figured; "they either figure it out or ask, to me it doesn't matter because the important people already know." Seems that every single people understood or didn't care because I never got a singel person to comment on it.

*hug*

Congratulations, Bethany! Coming out is big step, and Facebook makes it very public very fast.

I had been running two accounts at the same time for a while: one with my birth name and one with my legal name, and they had "friended" each other. Not long before I went full time, I posted this note to my birth name account:

Quote
Goodbye, and Hello

Friends,

I have something to share with you, something of great importance and a source of great joy for me. I am transgender, and am in the process of transitioning from David William McEntee to Constance (Connie) Anne McEntee. She can be found here:

     http://www.facebook.com/connieanne11

This thing might seem sudden, but it's something that I can honestly say I've been working towards my whole life, with it having taken root in me during my very early school years.

I'm sure that some of you might have questions. Some of those questions might be answered in my blog, which I've been updating on a somewhat regular basis with details of my experiences as a transwoman. If you are so inclined, you can read that blog here:

     http://doubleinvert.wordpress.com/

This is a thing of great joy for me as I'm beginning to align my body with who I really am. It's been a journey towards wholeness.

Blessed be,

David/Connie

I hope your FB coming out works well for you. I kept most of my FB friends in the process.

Thanks everyone, What I did before I did this was I went through my friends and weeded out those who either never made an effort to keep in touch in any way shape or form
(Deleted cousins who live 10 minutes from me and in the 2 years I been back from Florida they have not been to visit or call me. Whats the point of having them as friends? I certainly don't mean that much to them.),
or people that I did not know in real life. Facebook to me in not a contest to see who can have the most "Friends". I use it as a means of communication with those who mean the most to me. So some already knew some didn't. But the people who I want to know; do.

Now to just change my name though it will be a while before I do that legally But I sure do like being called Bethany, or Bethy as one friend now calls me.

Congrats Bethany!

I had two FB accounts for quite a while. A few months ago, I changed the name on my primary account and stopped using the other. I invited all my 2nd account friends to the primary one. After a number of confused questions, I posted a note containing an explanation. I've received a lot of support, if I lost anyone, I haven't noticed they're gone. I'm very happy to not be living two separate online lives anymore, also really enjoying watching the occasional interactions between my different communities!

Zythyra

Way to go Bethany! 

FB is a useful tool in our far flung culture.  Funny, as you note, that we might live so close to a relative but not be in touch.  I have recreated a wonderful family and circle of support thousands of miles from my origins.  And, like you, am finding considerable support vs. the loathsome response I had conjured.  The real challenge is more often between my ears than between my legs. ;-)  Let us know if you have any major problems with incoming posts on FB.

Thank you Zythyra and Tessa,

The amount of support that I have is unreal, both in RL and on FB. Almost every bit of feed back has been positive so far.

I really only have one real life friend who does not like what I am doing, and she lets me know it. But at least she admits that it's her hangup, and that she does want me to be happy. It just goes against her religion. But I'm ready for when she brings that up again. Everyone else has been great. Even if they don't understand my need to do this, they just want me happy.

Today I changed my name on Facebook. Another big step forward

I came out on facebook last November. Here's what I wrote:

QuoteGuess what? All of you know someone who is transgender! Yup, I'm dropping the "coming out on facebook" bomb on y'all! Some of you already know about all of this but many of you don't- So here's the abridged version of the story...

A few years ago, I realized that I was transgender- that I was DEEPLY unhappy living as a man and I decided that I needed to transition and start living as a woman. It didn't come out of nowhere- Since I was 8 or 9 years old, I have felt "different" and for a LONG time, that was it. Something was wrong, but I didn't have a name for it. I battled severe anxiety and depression for years. I tried therapy, I tried Zoloft, etc. Nothing worked. Even after it all started to come into focus for me, it was very difficult to envision how I could possibly even START the process of transitioning. Luckily my girlfriend came into my life, which was my first big step towards happiness. Her support, love and encouragement gave me the courage to finally start taking real steps towards transitioning.

In July I saw a doctor who pronounced me fit and gave me a prescription for Hormone Replacement Therapy, which I've been on since then. It's a combination of estrogen and testosterone-blocking drugs that will, over time, change my appearance substantially. More importantly, they have almost completely eliminated the depression and anxiety I have been burdened with for decades. I am more relaxed and happier than I've ever been at any other time in my life. I'm also undergoing lazer hair removal to eliminate my facial hair, starting with my neck, and then moving on to the rest of my face after that.

I'm intentionally taking a "slow-and-steady" approach to this process, and the earliest I would possibly start living as a woman is next summer, but that is not a firm deadline. I intend to keep my given name, only changing the spelling slightly. It's important for all of you to know that I'm not becoming a different person- I'm just becoming a happier, more well-adjusted one. My personality and interests won't change. I will still love the Seahawks, I'll still nerd out about movies, TV, politics, and I'll still be with my girlfriend, who has been 100% behind my transition since the day we met. This has always been something I have struggled with mightily, and confronting it is one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

Why am I announcing this on facebook? I'm hoping for support and encouragement- If you can't give that to me, I'd prefer that you keep those feelings to yourselves. I'm coming out to an ever-growing circle of people over time, and it just feels like the right time to come out to my facebook friends. I'm still not officially out in terms of my job or my blog yet, and I hope all of you respect that decision, as well as my privacy.

Finally, this is your chance to ask (respectful) questions (within reason) about what I'm doing and what my plans are, if you'd like.

Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your support.

The reactions were almost unanimously positive and supportive, thankfully...

You dear ones are continuing to inspire me!  I love what you wrote and you encourage me to take some of those other little steps like creating a new email address etc.  Here is my email coming out letter, if it will fit:   

Hi there,

I recently let a genie out of the bottle and her name is Tessa.  My plan was to slowly talk with family and close friends one to one.  "News" like this spreads pretty fast and I am wanting to be the one to tell you.  Soooo dear ones my compromise is to share the letter below.  The bigger story, to me, is how wonderful, compassionate, caring and supportive this community is.  When sharing my vulnerable and personal truth with others I have often been graced by profound and personal truths in return.  I feel closer than ever to this fabulous community.

With love and an open mind,

Jim/Tessa


Subject: "Coming out"

Dear Family & Friends,

I would dearly love to have an opportunity to sit down with you and share this very personal disclosure.  I would rather have you hear this from me and trust you will contact me if you have any questions.  I am a transgendered person and have known I was different from other boys and men since childhood.  As a kid in the 50's there was no language or understanding for what I felt.  I believed I was a girl at times and would grow up to be a mom.  I identified with my sisters and mother and preferred to think of myself as some kind of tomboy.  I was effectively disabused of these ideas and mannerisms the hard school yard way.  Boys act like this and girls act like this!  For me it has never been a binary world.  As you likely know, there are more people living in the grey zone, or LGBTQ continuum than are acknowledged by themselves or the public.  The world is changing and now we do have more people who are out and proud of who they really are.  I intend to proceed with dignity and respect for myself and others. 

Mine is a long story of repression and the struggle to fit in, act like a man and deny what has been troubling me.  The medical folks call it Gender Dysphoria and/or Gender Identity Disorder.  I did everything I could to be a boy and man but my shadow feminine self remained.  I have been working with a therapist and support group for sometime.  Part of therapy is accepting myself and recognizing the truth.  Being honest with myself includes "coming out" as a transgendered person.  Part of being transgendered for me is to embrace who I am in a process known as transition.  Transition can take years and many transgendered people remain private until they are "passable."  My transition includes presenting or appearing in clothing/attire that is typically more feminine, where I am very comfortable.  Also called "cross dressing" I am now out in public to a limited degree.  As I gain confidence and proceed other changes may become more obvious; long hair and feminization in general. 

These changes may be uncomfortable for some.  It has taken me a lifetime to deal with my gender identity and I understand this may take time for others to process.  I am a public figure and will no longer hide.  In fact, I find this liberating, hopeful and freeing.  It is also my hope that this will be an educational opportunity and help others.  An "out" gay teenager committed suicide in LaGrande two weeks ago.  We need no further tragedies to convince us that intolerance and bullying are unacceptable.

I have come out to many of my friends and family and am fortunate to have a large circle of support.  I have shared this personal truth with many people and they have often graced me with some personal truth in return.  I feel closer than ever to you and this community.  My experience so far has been very positive and 180 degrees from what I feared.  I envisioned my self as the bride of frankenstein being pursued by the villagers with pitchforks and torches.  The truth is people are more understanding, caring and supportive than I anticipated.   

My wife has known the truth all along and is very supportive.  While I don't have a crystal ball, we do plan to remain together in a loving relationship that has lasted 40 years so far.  Please feel free to contact me about any questions or concerns.  I trust you to be sensitive with this disclosure and prefer to tell my own story but I will never ask you to lie.  I do plan to be part of ongoing diversity presentations that will include that rainbow of people who are your friends and family.  I welcome talking with you.

Thank you,
     Jim/Tessa

Tessa, your letter was awesome. Doesn't it feel great not to keep this all bundled up inside? I know I get a feeling of euphoria when I tell my story to a friend. I hope that your friends who read it are as accepting as those who read mine.

Hugs
Bethany

Thank you Bethany,  You are right on sister!  I kept myself too busy to deal with my troubled interior.  Everything else was too important and I thought my fantasy world was enough.  Finally my intimate and emotional life started crashing.  When I started telling others and accepting myself I could not get the first sentence out of my mouth without crying.  Now with therapy and support this chatty Kathy is ready to sing that coming out song to any and all.  And I love it.  As you say euphoria.  Of course there are major hurdles and challenges but who gets through life without them?  Hugs and warm fuzzies back at you hon.

Wow, congratulations on coming out Beth, Tessa, and Connie. You all took a big step and I know just how hard it can be. Hopefully, and I'm sure that, everything will work out for the best.

Also, yay for Beth and her upcoming 1 month!!!

Quote from: The Tomboy Transgirl on February 08, 2013, 02:43:49 PM
I came out on facebook last November. Here's what I wrote:

The reactions were almost unanimously positive and supportive, thankfully...

Transgirl, Thats great it seems as though we all have the backing of our loved ones. But it's so hard to know it when we had so much trouble accepting ourselves.

Quote from: Kayla on February 09, 2013, 05:12:25 AM
Wow, congratulations on coming out Beth, Tessa, and Connie. You all took a big step and I know just how hard it can be. Hopefully, and I'm sure that, everything will work out for the best.

Also, yay for Beth and her upcoming 1 month!!!

Thank you Kayla I can't believe that I'm approaching the one month mark already. This has been by far the best month of my life, and it's only going to get better.

Hugs
Bethany

Congratulation it's a huge step.  ((((hug)))

Congratulations!  This step is huge and the world will know about the true you. 

Today when the aids came in to get me out of bed. One whom I really can't stand says to me. "Is that really your name on facebook. I saw it through a mutual friend who liked your photo." I smiled at her and replied "Yup it's really me."

Out and Proud!  Keep it up Bethany D.  Nice new pic with you and yours

I like Staci's profile pic too--letting the light shine in!