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What are you thinking right now? 3.0

Started by Flan, February 06, 2013, 05:38:36 PM

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Lubbles

That doing laundry at home in glorious. (Just got my portable washer and dryer in the mail.) And I hate laundromats.   
"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears."

~ Les Brown
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Shantel

Quote from: Lubbles on April 29, 2013, 10:25:09 AM
That doing laundry at home in glorious. (Just got my portable washer and dryer in the mail.) And I hate laundromats.

No-one will steal your bra and panties now!  ;D
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Shang

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on April 29, 2013, 10:08:02 AM
I'm thinking that I like my speech to text on my android phone and it really works pretty well
I just got my first ever Android phone in my entire life

I love my Android. :3

It's a good day for me. :3
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Lubbles

Quote from: Shantel on April 29, 2013, 11:43:49 AM
No-one will steal your bra and panties now!  ;D

I know right! I was always paranoid that someone would come a steal all my clothes. So I would watch like a hawk!
"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears."

~ Les Brown
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Shantel

Quote from: Lubbles on April 29, 2013, 12:10:22 PM
I know right! I was always paranoid that someone would come a steal all my clothes. So I would watch like a hawk!

The machines are always filthy from other peoples crap! So good to have your own washer and dryer.
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Liminal Stranger

Why are the people I'm in a relationship with accidentally injuring me these past few days? I need my legs, guys.




"And if you feel that you can't go on, in the light you will find the road"
- In the Light, Led Zeppelin
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King Malachite

I'm skipping graduating.  I have no interest to walk.  There's nothing I can do about it now since today was the last day to pick up my cap and gown.  I told my father about this and he mentioned that I skipped prom and now this....pretty much saying I need to get some life into me.  He's right, I do, but one of the main reasons I don't have that life is because I can't be myself.

I'm thinking about my savings that I have that isn't top surgery money and I mentioned this before but I was debating if those savings should be transferred over to top surgery funds.  Initially I thought to myself "no" but the more I think about it the more I want to.  The thing is however, I do spend from the money on occasion as opposed to my top fund which is specifically for top surgery.  With my outrageous amount I'm trying to raise for my surgery,  I think I'm going to continue as planned for now, and by the time I get to my last 4 or 5 grand I need to raise, then I will just tack that on to my original top surgery fund.  It may nuke me back to zero dollars and zero cents, but at least my top will be out of the way.  I'm just glad that my dysphoria isn't that bad tht I can't wait the amount of years I'm planning to.


Thank you
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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Shantel

Quote from: Malachite on April 29, 2013, 04:39:30 PM
I'm skipping graduating.  I have no interest to walk.  There's nothing I can do about it now since today was the last day to pick up my cap and gown.  I told my father about this and he mentioned that I skipped prom and now this....pretty much saying I need to get some life into me.  He's right, I do, but one of the main reasons I don't have that life is because I can't be myself.

I'm thinking about my savings that I have that isn't top surgery money and I mentioned this before but I was debating if those savings should be transferred over to top surgery funds.  Initially I thought to myself "no" but the more I think about it the more I want to.  The thing is however, I do spend from the money on occasion as opposed to my top fund which is specifically for top surgery.  With my outrageous amount I'm trying to raise for my surgery,  I think I'm going to continue as planned for now, and by the time I get to my last 4 or 5 grand I need to raise, then I will just tack that on to my original top surgery fund.  It may nuke me back to zero dollars and zero cents, but at least my top will be out of the way.  I'm just glad that my dysphoria isn't that bad tht I can't wait the amount of years I'm planning to.


Thank you

It's your life Malachite, do as you want! I didn't go to my prom or graduation, I had them mail my diploma to me. I've purposefully missed every class reunion on purpose so far because it's the same old ancient high school football hero and prom queen both of whom have turned into drunken blimps and the rest of the goody two shoes people who are mentally still in high school that are forever on the bottom of my must see list. They make sad movies about these types! I associated with a whole different group all of which went to other schools.
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Renee

I've got to work two more days before I get a couple more days off. But at least I get to go back to a four day work week after this week.
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Shang

I wanted to skip graduation, at least graduating college, but my dad said I couldn't (even if it meant paying $50 to rent the gown) because it had been nearly 6 years since I had started college and that this was a remarkable thing and he really wanted to see me graduate.  So...I walked. >.> Then once I was done, I promptly changed out of the gown (much to their irritation because they wanted a picture of me in it, but I was so /hot/.  And I had to pee.)  Overall, it wasn't bad though I was bored silly.
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Wolf Man

I wish I had seen a USMC recruiter in my last year of high school so that I could have attempted to join. I'd be done with my active duty service by now. I would be a totally different person. I could also be at peace with things had I been deemed unable to join for some other reason than all this. Now I'm almost 2 years on T and 4 months post top surgery. The military would never accept me. It gets me at least once any given day, whether brief or drawn out. I hate it and I wish I didn't feel so awful about it. I'm just lost now and I have only myself to blame. I don't feel like I have any worth and I'm going nowhere fast. I feel depressed half the time and it's creeping into more of my life.
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, If I can be strong
I know every mile, Will be worth my while

When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
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Shang

=( I'm sorry to hear that, Wolf Man.  Have you tried working through the military in other ways?

___

My mom's dog had a seizure today. =/  We just got back from the vet.  They think it might be hormonal related which means she's being spayed.
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Shantel

Quote from: A. G. Bheur on April 29, 2013, 09:12:13 PM

My mom's dog had a seizure today. =/  We just got back from the vet.  They think it might be hormonal related which means she's being spayed.

I had a pretty grey tabby cat that would look at me and grimace like something from hell and back up and spray on the furniture. I finally shot her and buried her in the yard. Later I find that she really just needed kitty hormones. I'm a bad person!  >:(
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King Malachite

Quote from: A. G. Bheur on April 29, 2013, 05:56:39 PM
I wanted to skip graduation, at least graduating college, but my dad said I couldn't (even if it meant paying $50 to rent the gown) because it had been nearly 6 years since I had started college and that this was a remarkable thing and he really wanted to see me graduate.  So...I walked. >.> Then once I was done, I promptly changed out of the gown (much to their irritation because they wanted a picture of me in it, but I was so /hot/.  And I had to pee.)  Overall, it wasn't bad though I was bored silly.

That's what one of my friends has pretty much said to me "you're going!".  I'm sure that it wouldn't be bad but that's just wasted time to me.



Quote from: Shantel on April 29, 2013, 05:14:35 PM
It's your life Malachite, do as you want! I didn't go to my prom or graduation, I had them mail my diploma to me. I've purposefully missed every class reunion on purpose so far because it's the same old ancient high school football hero and prom queen both of whom have turned into drunken blimps and the rest of the goody two shoes people who are mentally still in high school that are forever on the bottom of my must see list. They make sad movies about these types! I associated with a whole different group all of which went to other schools.

I'm starting to do that very slowly.  Heck, I rarely talk to anyone from my school anymore because I just want to move on with my life as a man eventually.
Feel the need to ask me something or just want to check out my blog?  Then click below:

http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135882.0.html


"Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven."

"Anomalies can make the best revolutionaries."
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Edge

It seems like most people I meet claim they were rejects/unpopular/didn't have friends at school. Bull crap. I remember school. There can't have been that many people who were rejects. Heck, back in high school, there was an entire group who claimed to be rejects. A group. I'm not the only one who sees a contradiction in that claim right? I keep this to myself though. I say, "hey me too." I don't say, "F you. I was the guy people like you rejected."
Same with when people claim weirdness is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite fond of it myself. But do you know how many times I've met people who claimed to like weirdness who later told me I was too weird?
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Saison Marguerite

Quote from: Prof HB on April 28, 2013, 09:36:15 PM
I was doing so well today, I had almost no anxiety and then BOOM it kicked in.

I do know what caused it, but that doesn't help make it better because there's very little I can do to change the problem.

*hugs you* It's okay to be anxious sometimes.
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Shang

Quote from: Edge on April 30, 2013, 07:20:50 AM
It seems like most people I meet claim they were rejects/unpopular/didn't have friends at school. Bull crap. I remember school. There can't have been that many people who were rejects. Heck, back in high school, there was an entire group who claimed to be rejects. A group. I'm not the only one who sees a contradiction in that claim right? I keep this to myself though. I say, "hey me too." I don't say, "F you. I was the guy people like you rejected."
Same with when people claim weirdness is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite fond of it myself. But do you know how many times I've met people who claimed to like weirdness who later told me I was too weird?

My second high school had a group composed entirely of rejects.  They didn't fit in with anyone else so they gravitated towards one another.  The group was about 10 people and the only common bond was anime.  Even then it was on shaky grounds with smaller groups in it/certain friendships.  But, rejects often find themselves having to gravitate towards one another because humans are generally social beings and being a true outcast sucks royally.  I've been there, done that.
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Edge

Eh I'm of the opinion that one is not really a reject until the group that claims to be rejects rejects them.
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Liminal Stranger

Nope. Not a lady. Done putting up with this.

Guidance counselor said she worked with a kid in my same situation once and that he went by a preferred name and male pronouns too, so now I know people have made a full social transition in my school before. I thought so, but wasn't quite sure.




"And if you feel that you can't go on, in the light you will find the road"
- In the Light, Led Zeppelin
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Renee

my boss called me to tell me about something, but I forgot what she originally told me because we got to talking about stuff I have to call into the office to try and get fixed along with some issues with another clerk.  Hopefully, it'll come to me by the time I go into work in the morning.
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