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Majority of transguys are gay?

Started by BearGuy, February 10, 2013, 06:13:34 PM

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GnomeKid

I'm a straight transguy... I don't know many other transmen, but my room mate does.  I'm pretty sure his other (2 or 3) transman friends are gay/bi, but I can't say for certain. 
I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

"Oh what a cute little girl, or boy if you grow up and feel thats whats inside you" - Liz Lemon

Happy to be queer!    ;)
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OlivierDeSillegue

I am most definitely straight ^^ and I have a beautiful girlfriend whom I would not exchange for the world.

I have a transguy friend at work, though, and he is gay.
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randomroads

I don't really get along with women, either. I also attract the rude ones and the ones who haven't been outright horrible to everyone around them have gotten pregnant and went through some massive mood swings that made them behave horribly to everyone around them.
I believe in invisible pink unicorns

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AdamFinally

I'm straight, but out of my 4 transguy friends, 2 are gay and 2 are straight. Interesting odds. I can see why transguys would be more open to alternative lifestyles than our cis counterparts, though. For one, we understand gender in a way that a cisguy couldn't, and two, we already have experience exploring our identities and many cispeople never have to do that to the same depth that we do.
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on May 13, 2013, 07:44:35 AM
Actually it seems like the majority are asexual to me. This isn't nearly as common in the cis population either. Maybe trans people are just more prone to alternate sexualities. I'm bi btw.

Maybe they are labeling themselves as asexual because they do not feel the desire to have sexual relationships because of dysphoria problems.


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BlackBird

Wheat: Ah... No I don't think so. Then they would just be celibate. -- I don't think anyone can fake being Asexual or not. That would be extremely hard to do.
See that dull, plain, dusty book? The one sitting In the library.
The one no one touches? The one everyone Ignores?

That book has many amazing adventures.
Yet no one takes the time to know.

Never judge a book by It's cover.
Never judge a person by their outside.
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Mr.X

Quote
Maybe they are labeling themselves as asexual because they do not feel the desire to have sexual relationships because of dysphoria problems.

This was the reason I thought I was asexual for a long time, right at the start of my trans discovery. I really, really did not have any desire to have sex with guys. The thought of being the one who got, well, penetrated was horrible to me. But then I learned I did have sexual desires with guys, but as a guy, not girl. Geesh, made me feel like a real freak.
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matt

I am straight too. I can never connect romantically with a man.

I have a different theory about why so many trans guys "turn" gay.

For most trans-guys, they have craved a male body for many years. And as a result in their minds they find the male form or body attractive. E.g they look at a man's body or muscular form and wish they have a body like that. Once they start T, I think this desire grows substantially as their body changes. Another thing is that, once you are on T you have a much closer relationship with men in general. Like in changing rooms or socially. In addition being on T makes them resist/be jealous of men less. In fact it may make them more open to socialising and being friends with men.

The combination of these things cause a sense of affection that they had never experienced with men before to develop.

Also, don't forget that sexually once you're on T, things are turbo charged. Especially for those who have not had bottom surgery, the natural sexual instincts may still be there, and lead to impulses.

Of course this is just a theory. Every individual is different. Some would have always been bisexual or gay. However my gender specialist once told me that most FTM are heterosexual. I am not sure whether there is any data on this, I think he was just speaking from his own experience with patients.

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D0LL

I've seen mostly straight FTM's here, it seems. While I'm bi, I MUCH prefer the men. ;P

I've always been bi, and I've always known that. Shared many experimental moments as a child with friends of both genders, and came to the conclusion that I liked both. :D I was definitely big into boobs as a child, though, and was even lesbian for a while in high school, where I felt absolutely no attraction to men. So turning out with these preferences was certainly surprising.

I think even more than the sexual deviancy of the love between two men (because let's face it, I'm a total pervert  >:-)), I simply prefer men just because I find women to be too hormonal and unbalanced for my particular likes. Hate to say it, but that's the reason I prefer to not date women. I have enough trouble being around one of my female friends throughout her entire monthly cycle, and dating them just always drove me straight into drama I'll never have the energy to deal with. =_=

The only girl I've ever fallen head-over-heels for was a total tomboy, and I loved her even more for it. She was the perfect dose of female for me. I met her at a party one night, spent the entire evening talking to her (and making out with her when she got drunk enough, haha), and never saw her again. But I still manage to think about her all the time, and use her name as my password onto the computer. She's the only girl I've ever met who I could see being in a relationship with, so I think she set the bar too high for any other women I might meet in the future.

Also, my MTF friend used to think she was straight, until she got adventurous with a female friend of hers one night. It took her a while before she became so open about her new sexual feelings towards women. So maybe that's just how everyone is, trans or not, and most people just haven't had an experience yet that would change their minds.
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Erik Ezrin

I'm not entirely sure about my sexual orientation yet, because I do find men attractive and good looking, but lately I figured out that's not quite on the 'sexual' aspect, while that is a lot more with girls.
I think I'm straight when it comes to sex and sexual attraction (also; penis-vagina sex scares the living sh*t out of me), but bi when it comes to 'romance' and interaction. If that makes sense. (I've always had about an equal amount male and female friends as well)
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

My fb art page; https://www.facebook.com/BellaKohlerArt
My DA art page; http://asrath.deviantart.com/
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Chaos

I am straight online and offline.as i was *finding myself* and before i transitioned,i would say i was more bi curious but i cant say that now.
All Thing's Come With A Price...
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BlackBird

@Erin: Take It from my point of view. I'm Asexual, I don't, I can't and I won't see anyone In a sexual way.

I'm attracted to men, Romantically and Physically. -- I still think women are pretty but not attractive to me.

Straight guys see other men and think "He's pretty good looking." Just as straight women do.

If you can't quite see anyone In a sexual way, Look at their personality. That should tell you more In-depth.
See that dull, plain, dusty book? The one sitting In the library.
The one no one touches? The one everyone Ignores?

That book has many amazing adventures.
Yet no one takes the time to know.

Never judge a book by It's cover.
Never judge a person by their outside.
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jossef-ftm

i'm  1000% straight and all the tg guys i knows are straight too so i dont think so that the majoruty are gays thats not true..
Sometimes, it's hard to find words to tell you how much you mean to me. A lot of times, I don't say anything at all. But I hope someday, you'll understand, having you is what I live for...(I Love you my Queen )
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Erik Ezrin

You know BlackBird, I considered being Asexual a few times. I'm still not completely sure whether I am or not...
Maybe I just have a lower sex drive than usual (though since accepting myself as trans it has increased quite a bit), I don't know. Until now I really never thought that much about stuff like sexuality and gender, it was just what it was, but I had no idea WHAT it was, lol.
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

My fb art page; https://www.facebook.com/BellaKohlerArt
My DA art page; http://asrath.deviantart.com/
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BlackBird

@Erin: Ha.. Well. Saying that has just proved that you can't be. You said your sex drive as Increased a little.

Asexuals have no sex drive. None, Not at all, Nothing. You're either Asexual or your not though, It's something you're born with. It's something to do with the brain signals and blah.. Whatever I learnt.

Being Asexual Isn't the best thing In the world. Of course, We never feel a need for anything or any urges but, It's very hard to find a partner that would deal with having a non-sexual relationship.

On top of that, People seem to think we're aliens. You constantly get told things like.. "You haven't met the right person yet." and all kinds. It gets very very Irritating.

It's over-all more bad than It Is good In the world of today. Oh well. :P Hope I gave you a good example here.

(Note: I've seen people call you Erin but I don't know what to call you? Erin or Erik? I'm not sure, Sorry! Please let me know.)

See that dull, plain, dusty book? The one sitting In the library.
The one no one touches? The one everyone Ignores?

That book has many amazing adventures.
Yet no one takes the time to know.

Never judge a book by It's cover.
Never judge a person by their outside.
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Erik Ezrin

Ahh, okay. It has always been a bit hard for me to know, because I never had a boy or girlfriend, nor do I have any idea to get one in a non-extremely-awkward way, lol. :s
But I DO feel like I have a desire for intimate contact (not sure about actual sex, but french kissing and such should be fine. But yeah, then again is the subject of 'having sex' rather odd for a transperson in general, 'cause it just feels 'wrong' to have vaginal sex, if that makes sense)
But yeah, I suppose I'm not asexual just... sexually awkward, lol.

I can imagine it being hard, especially in this very 'sexual' world. Other people can hardly imagine that asexuals can even EXIST, they view them as freaks or aliens, lol. :-\
And how about getting a relationship with another asexual person? Then it would be much harder to find someone who 'fits' with you though, hmm... :(

You may call me Erin if you like, but my actual name is Erik. I'm fine with variations like Eric too, though. ;)
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

My fb art page; https://www.facebook.com/BellaKohlerArt
My DA art page; http://asrath.deviantart.com/
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AdamMLP

Quote from: BlackBird on May 16, 2013, 04:30:41 AM
@Erin: Ha.. Well. Saying that has just proved that you can't be. You said your sex drive as Increased a little.

Asexuals have no sex drive. None, Not at all, Nothing. You're either Asexual or your not though, It's something you're born with. It's something to do with the brain signals and blah.. Whatever I learnt.

Being Asexual Isn't the best thing In the world. Of course, We never feel a need for anything or any urges but, It's very hard to find a partner that would deal with having a non-sexual relationship.

On top of that, People seem to think we're aliens. You constantly get told things like.. "You haven't met the right person yet." and all kinds. It gets very very Irritating.

It's over-all more bad than It Is good In the world of today. Oh well. :P Hope I gave you a good example here.

(Note: I've seen people call you Erin but I don't know what to call you? Erin or Erik? I'm not sure, Sorry! Please let me know.)

I'm not saying that you're not asexual or anything like that, the way you feel is how you feel and I'm not going to try and change that, but some asexuals do have libido, so that statement isn't quite correct.  As far as I'm aware asexual is more of not finding anyone attractive in a sexual manner rather than just not having the drive for it.

AVENwiki is a pretty good resource as long as you take the time to get your head splitting up the different types of attraction (romantic/physical, primary/secondary).
http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Asexuality

And if you think that asexuals' get a bad rep, demisexual people don't get seen by the majority of society in a much better light because they think we're just being prudish or so fussy we have to have a special word and category for ourselves.  I've never mentioned the word to anyone in my life except my ex, and described it to my girlfriend without using the terminology for that reason, but I don't like labels anyway.  Makes it pretty hard to pretend to be a "lesbian" when you never notice any attractive girls :P
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Erik Ezrin

Hmm, thanks for the link.
It's really difficult though, I actually... just don't know.
How am I supposed to know whether I'm sexual or not, if I've never BEEN sexual? Then I don't know whether it 'clicks' right? Maybe when I would get a girlfriend I would end up being just normally sexual and thinking "What have I missed!?" lol.
I just find the thought of sexual activities with someone else kind of awkward, but it's not that I don't feel attracted to people, or understand how pleasurable it can be, I just find it weird to have sex with someone, I feel like I'm... really prudish or something, while I was never raised that way. But I always told myself that once I got 'through' that 'prude' barrier I would actually like it, etc.

Gah, I just have no idea...
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not" -Kurt Cobain

My fb art page; https://www.facebook.com/BellaKohlerArt
My DA art page; http://asrath.deviantart.com/
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D0LL

@Erik

I've always had a VERY strong sex drive (except when I had a bad experience with birth control pills a few years back), so it's hard for me to wrap my mind around someone so put-off by the idea of sex in that aspect. xD BUT, I do understand your confusion as far as preference, and I've gotta say, just don't put too much thought into it. Sometimes it just takes finding the right someone to open your mind up.

I also believe EVERYONE is pansexual, for the right person (not sure if there's a different term for that), whether they're willing to admit it or not. I have a friend who has always been straight, started dating a guy online, and when she found out it was actually a girl pretending to be a guy, she decided she still had feelings for this person, and wasn't going to let gender preferences get in the way of anything (which is huge for her, because she's not attracted to vag at all). And sure, maybe it would have felt less right if she'd engaged in sexual activity with this person, but that's just something we all have to wait and find out. I don't think things are as black and white as "straight" and "gay", and because of that, some people (especially those not sexually active) will have a harder time learning about their preferences than others.

Just keep in mind that when it's right, it will feel right. If it doesn't feel right, don't feel pressured by anyone. Also, if you're ok with the idea of sexy kissing, it's probably just that you need to start there and build your way up. If you take yourself slowly, you'll probably find that the more "active" you become (in any sense of the word, be it directly sexual or not), the more you'll want to become active in other ways as well. Like waking up your sexuality, perhaps. It's just hibernating right now. Don't do anything to try to move the calender forward. Spring will come on its own.
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BlackBird

@Alexander: I meant Sex drive towards people dude..

@Erik: My lovely boyfriend Is Asexual. ^_^

See that dull, plain, dusty book? The one sitting In the library.
The one no one touches? The one everyone Ignores?

That book has many amazing adventures.
Yet no one takes the time to know.

Never judge a book by It's cover.
Never judge a person by their outside.
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