In game Gender Dysphoria

[iiMTF]

Always my true gender, female. <3

People who know me irl and see my avatar are like "Dude. Wtf.", but I've come up with some lame excuse for it every time. xD My brother, on the other hand, used to ask me daily, since we play this one game together. Fortunately, he stopped asking and now just accepts it. I've even insisted he refer to me as "she", "her", and his "sister" in-game. This he has also just accepted, but I haven't come out to him yet. (I did all of this BEFORE I even knew I was trans... xD And I still proudly do it)

iiMTF

[Kitten_Nikki]

I do play some male characters, mainly to throw my wife off, but I have a set name and female set of characters I like to make up. My default Mass Effect run though was a female Shepard, my default Dragon Age and Dragon Age II runs were both female leads, same with Skyrim.  While I do like Uncharted I prefer Tomb Raider mainly for the lead I get to play. I loved Remember Me for that reason despite kind of middling gameplay.  MMO's are where I end up with some male characters just to appease my wife, but my favorites and go to characters are always female.  She has noticed.  A few weeks ago she made a comment on it that I need to play some guys which actually sent me on a bit of self-discovery that led me here.  So of course since she's not playing Destiny and I haven't talked ot her about it yet, all my Guardians are females. 

[Abby Claire]

I usually always play through first as a woman, but if I play the game again I'll runthrough with a male character (though I will play the male character the complete opposite as my female character). An example would be Skyrim. First run through was as female and I did everything good. Second run through I went as an orc or something, and did everything evil. I usually do this with games like this. I noticed I had a liking for creating female characters long ago and identified with them more than male characters.

[Silverade]

Being a huge gamer myself, I frequent both  mmos and rpgs, among tons of other games.  I primarily play male characters, thats what feels natural.  If I play as a female character then it doesn't feel like that character represents me. I'd see her as a lovely character, but the connection and immersion just wouldn't be there. Its a bit like cosplay to me, I suppose.

I'm sure I'm not really explaining it right, but hopefully you get the gist!:)

[patrick1967]

Honestly online experience and interaction is what helped solidify things in my head. I had started questioning and went to Second Life to "try the fit". Male avi quickly became accepted and the dysphoria began to rear its head RL. I think because physically there is no way I can pass RL it became more important to me. I have a female alt n she is the one that doesn't feel like fits

[Lostkitten]

Funny, I also figured a lot out trough Second Life . In other games I play as a female but single player I don't mind if it is a guy. Online it just feels.. weird x_x.

[patrick1967]

Glad I'm not the only one Kiery. BTW hun you look fantastic

[Rachelicious]

I've always played female characters almost exclusively, even as far back as old games like Streets of Rage. About 15 years ago I got my start in multiplayer, where I could anonymously present as my true gender, and did take advantage of the opportunity to be a flirt

Curiously, I find a lot of guys play female characters, too. I think for them it's a sexual thing - either they think she's attractive, or in the case of 3rd-person point of view for instance they just dislike staring at a guy's butt too long.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I absolutely have to play as both genders.  I'll choose my birth gender (male) first but I must play as a female for at least one game.

[SoroyaAR]

Always play as a female.  When people ask, I just say if I have to look at a characters rear end for hours on end, a female one is better to look at.  I don't explain why a female is better, I just let peoples assumptions take them where they want to go. =)

lol that pretty much sums me up... I always play female and when asked I tell them "since I'm attracted to females... I'd rather watch them run around on screen then some guy"

[SorenNiko]

If the option comes up to make my own character, I usually use the gender I identify as.

[✰Fairy~Wishes✰]

I don't feel dysphoria over not being able to play as female characters.

But I almost always play as female characters when I can, unless the male character is really really cute.
I'm always so excited to play as a female character. It's always so wonderful.

There should be more games with female protagonists. Female protagonists are great!

[ElDudette]

Almost always female character.  It's always been a connection issue with me, even before I figured out I am trans. I felt more in sync w/ females, male characters mostly felt clunky when I played them (caused by subtle dysphoria mayhaps?). 

I do tend to enjoy games less when I'm stuck as a male now that I think about it.

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

I voted but not sure if I replied, so in case I didn't:

I've played female characters pretty much exclusively ever since the games I played started having a gender choice.  Like many others here, I've come up with many excuses, both to my friends and myself, as to why I play female characters.  I think WoW was the first game we played where gender was a choice, and the first character I created was a girl.  Oddly, I didn't even think about the decision, it just seemed normal to to play female.  All my friends had created big butch male characters, and teased me about picking female.  In a rare blast of wit, I said to them "pft, you're the ones running arround staring at a dude's arse for 8 hours at a time, and you have the gaul to call me gay?" they all changed to female characters by the next day lol.  Obviously at that time, I was still labouring under the myth that "a guy who wants to be a girl = homosexual", which obviously I know now isn't correct.  It wasn't said in a nasty or homophobic way either (we've always been a pretty liberal bunch), it was just that none of us identified that way.

Since then, I've played female characters exclusively whenever it's been a choice.  When it's not and I'm forced to play a male character for whatever reason, I do feel dysphoric - particularly when it comes to connection to the character.  The female characters I create / play feel like a part of me, like a true extension of myself and my personality.  Male characters just feel like a tool that I'm manipulating in my hand.  No connection what-so-ever.  Not that I don't feel empathy for well-written ones, but my brain just registers them as "someone else", whereas with female characters, my brain registers them as "a part of me", if that makes sense?  I always give my female characters a rich backstory too, whereas my male characters are "just there".

Incidentally, these feelings are one of the three big things that clued me in to the possibility that I might be trans*.  I feel so normal being a female in the virtual world (particularly including when it comes to social interactions), it's frankly mind-boggling that I managed to deny that this existed in me for so damn long.  And that's without even taking into account all the non-videogame role-play fantasies that used to swirl around in my head in the years before that lol

<3

[ElDudette]

The female characters I create / play feel like a part of me, like a true extension of myself and my personality. Male characters just feel like a tool that I'm manipulating in my hand.  No connection what-so-ever.  Not that I don't feel empathy for well-written ones, but my brain just registers them as "someone else", whereas with female characters, my brain registers them as "a part of me", if that makes sense?  I always give my female characters a rich backstory too, whereas my male characters are "just there".

Incidentally, these feelings are one of the three big things that clued me in to the possibility that I might be trans*.  I feel so normal being a female in the virtual world (particularly including when it comes to social interactions), it's frankly mind-boggling that I managed to deny that this existed in me for so damn long. And that's without even taking into account all the non-videogame role-play fantasies that used to swirl around in my head in the years before that lol

<3

I used near verbatim phrasing like that once when talking about why I played a female Dwarven hunter.   And like you I also find myself dumbstruck that I was in denial/completely didn't catch what was going on with me.  But then I do remind myself that it's hard to see how big a forest is when you're only looking at one tree at a time.

[Dee Marshall]

Incidentally, these feelings are one of the three big things that clued me in to the possibility that I might be trans*.  I feel so normal being a female in the virtual world (particularly including when it comes to social interactions), it's frankly mind-boggling that I managed to deny that this existed in me for so damn long.  And that's without even taking into account all the non-videogame role-play fantasies that used to swirl around in my head in the years before that lol

<3

^this^

Myself and my two best friends in online gaming almost exclusively play female characters. Until a few months ago we had never met in person, well, they had, they're roommates.

When we did finally meet we were all surprised that we were MAAB. They were sure I was female and I was sure they were. In June I came out to them and they were really supportive. A week later, one of them came out to me. She hadn't been hiding it, she was as clueless as me until she heard my story. The other is asexual and doesn't identify as trans. Funny, huh? The stereo type is that most female characters are really "male", and I can attest that some are, but maybe more than we know, or even they know, are trans.

[♥︎ SarahD ♥︎]

I used near verbatim phrasing like that once when talking about why I played a female Dwarven hunter.   And like you I also find myself dumbstruck that I was in denial/completely didn't catch what was going on with me.  But then I do remind myself that it's hard to see how big a forest is when you're only looking at one tree at a time.

Aww, is that her in your avatar?  She's (or should I say - *YOU'RE* ) really cute!

And yeh, I guess the whole "wood through the trees" thing does apply.  Still, I have a degree in Astrophysics for christ's sake, I'm *supposed* to be smart lmao! ♥︎

^this^

Myself and my two best friends in online gaming almost exclusively play female characters. Until a few months ago we had never met in person, well, they had, they're roommates.

When we did finally meet we were all surprised that we were MAAB. They were sure I was female and I was sure they were. In June I came out to them and they were really supportive. A week later, one of them came out to me. She hadn't been hiding it, she was as clueless as me until she heard my story. The other is asexual and doesn't identify as trans. Funny, huh? The stereo type is that most female characters are really "male", and I can attest that some are, but maybe more than we know, or even they know, are trans.

Wow that's a really great thing to hear hun!  And yeh, I've suspected that more people who play opposite-gendered characters are in fact trans* than we're all lead to believe.  I'd like to point out too that the gaming community as a whole has been rather vocal over the past few years regarding gender issues.  It makes me feel really proud when I see gamers tearing a big company like EA apart when they over-sexualise women, or fail to offer sufficient gender and/or sexuality choice.  I've seen tonnes of conversations on gaming forums about non-binary genders and sexualities, and there's constant talk against the under-representation of LGBT.  Sure, trolls do make the community look like misogynists, but I've come to realise that those people are just a vocal minority of morons.  The majority of the gaming community seems to me to be quite pro LGBT and anti-misogyny.  All in all, I'm proud to be a gamer

I've said it before and I'll say it again - those of us starting out on our journey now are very lucky to have online gaming and the internet as platforms to experiment with our self-expression and gender identity.  Older transitioners didn't have that, and I'm personally very very grateful that this technology exists ♥︎

[ElDudette]

Aww, is that her in your avatar?  She's (or should I say - *YOU'RE* ) really cute!

And yeh, I guess the whole "wood through the trees" thing does apply.  Still, I have a degree in Astrophysics for christ's sake, I'm *supposed* to be smart lmao! ♥︎

*blushes fiercely* Thank you    

It's actually a pic by an artist named Fredrik K.T. Andersson

But I use it since it's near spot on to how I look in game (and mentally how I see myself these days) + close to one of the casual attire RP clothing set (which I was going to log in and take a cap of but I forgot I mothballed my account again starting this month to save money >.< )
But here is one of my semi-formal party attire   which I was probably drunk at this party since I don't have my sandals on XD XD XD


As I tell customers at work when I point out that they walked right by what they were looking for
"One of my favourite quotes is a military proverb that goes ' The easiest place to hide something is in plain sight. ' This is why when you're 30min late for an appointment and you can't find your car keys, you spend another 30min looking for them, miss the appointment, turn around and the keys are on the counter thumbing their nose at you. "

[D.N.]

As a nonbinary person, it's rare for me to find sprite options other than "male" and "female" in games, so I usually pick the "male" sprite just to be contrary xD Makes me feel sneaky, I guess. Like, "haha, I don't play by your gender rules!".

I'll pick female sprites occasionally though, if they're cuter than the male ones. Alas, I am a shallow gamer; I choose my Pokemon by appearance rather than functionality or team balance.

[iiMTF]

Alas, I am a shallow gamer; I choose my Pokemon by appearance rather than functionality or team balance.

Lol, I do the same thing on Pokemon... My little Fennekin is just so darn cute!!!! <3