Info and support for parents?

[Joe.]

I'm a young FTM and I told my parents just before Christmas. At first there were a lot of high emotions and things weren't great but they're starting to look up. We're talking about it more and my dad especially is trying his best to see me as a boy. My mum isn't coping well I don't think, my dad may not be coping either but he's trying not to show it I think for my sake. I love them both so much, they know this. For once in a very long time we're all talking about how we feel, however, I suspect there are things they may want to express or ask that they may not want to ask me. I respect their privacy but I know they're not talking about it between them. I think it would be really beneficial for them to have some support or info whilst they get their heads around it. I've searched online with no luck and they've been given a booklet but I want to offer them more. Does anyone know any websites specifically for parents or support groups etc?

Joey

[Devlyn]

Heres information for you, Joey: https://www.susans.org/wiki/Category:Family_and_friends

We have the Significant Others section, but I'm not sure if you're comfortable with your parents coming here. I'm proud of you for working your way through this. Hugs, Devlyn

[Joe.]

Thanks Devlyn, I'll work my way through that and make some resources for them. Yeah I was thinking about sending them here but I don't feel comfortable with them reading what I've said and I don't think I'd feel comfortable reading what they put either. Thanks for your support.

Joey

[KayCeeDee]

You can also try PFLAG at pflag.org and see if there is a chapter in your area.

[Joe.]

Thank you, just checked it out but we're in the UK so there isn't a chapter for us. Thanks anyway though.

Joey

[spacial]

I have loads, but you should check each out to see what would suit your parents.

http://www.ftmguide.org/
http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/
http://azstarnet.com/news/science/health-med-fit/article_62e8719b-5b8d-5f99-80f3-71f00a41c334.html
http://www.gires.org.uk/
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/transgender-jacob-saunders-spent-23-679658
http://www.transgendercare.com/guidance/what_is_gender.htm
http://www.transgenderzone.com/index.htm#.UR2JD8htzRo
http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org/index.htm
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html
http://a.abcnews.com/m/story?id=3089992&sid=359 This page has loads of links. But since the page was published in 2007, some may be unusable now.
http://home.surewest.net/drmilazzo/francie/therapy.html This is an interesting report on reparative therapy. It dates from 2004.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Gender-dysphoria/Pages/Introduction.aspx This is a British Health Service page. Please check it is available in your area.

20/20 "My Secret Self" Part 1 of 5 This is a program, broadcast on US TV. Barbara Walters Documentary.

You should have a look at each of these before you give them to anyone, to make sure they are suitable. With the best will in the world, there is little point in giving a scientific paper to someone who isn't interested. Equally, giving a page from a Tabloid newspaper might not be suitable for people who are very intelectual.

Best of luck. (So happy for you).

[Joe.]

Thanks so much! I'll check each one out and add it to the pack I'm going to provide them with. Some may be more suited to my dad than my mum as they're very different, but it will give them a starting point. Thank you for such a range.

Joey

[spacial]

Just found this one. It's a report from yesterday's NYT on Colleges in the US accommodating transgender students.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/13/education/12sexchange.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20130213&_r=0

[Joe.]

Thanks!

Joey

[aleon515]

Laura's playground has a "child forum" but maybe your parents aren't really ready. There is a guy on youtube skylarkeleven who has a set of 3 videos with his mom. Though she seems to have very little trouble with it.

There are a couple books that may be useful: I think "Just Add Hormones" is very short, breezy,  easy, unscary book to read. The guy seems very normal. This would reassure your parents, I think. There is also the more serious "Helping Your Transgender Teen" (5 stars). I know you are a bit older, but I am guessing this would still apply. Haven't read this.


--Jay

[Arch]

The UK has an organization similar to PFLAG, but I can't remember what it's called. Still, knowing that it's out there gives you something to go on.

[spacial]

The UK has an organization similar to PFLAG, but I can't remember what it's called. Still, knowing that it's out there gives you something to go on.

Pretty sure you are referring to http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/ which has an excellent reputation and is recommended by the NHS.

If not then I do apologise.

Incidently, Is our Joey in the UK?

If so, I'm so sorry I assumed he was in the states.

OK, Just checked and there it is in his profile.

Sorry Joey. I would definately have posted Mermaids and a lot of others. I should have checked.



The list above, while many are perfectly good, is heavly weighted in favour of the US. These are a bit more Birtish

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/22/transgender-charing-cross

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/schools/lonely-road-why-school-is-hell-for-transgender-pupils-814378.html

http://avitale.com/TNotelist.htm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8454002/Puberty-blocker-for-children-considering-sex-change.html

http://www.gires.org.uk/

http://www.scottishtrans.org/

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/transgender-jacob-saunders-spent-23-679658

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html

[Arch]

Pretty sure you are referring to http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/ which has an excellent reputation and is recommended by the NHS.

Nope, turns out it was FFLAG. Mermaids looks pretty cool, though.

[spacial]

Nope, turns out it was FFLAG. Mermaids looks pretty cool, though.

Thank you Arch. I will add FFLAG to my list.

It does appear to be based upon sexuality rather than transgender, but that is not a bad thing at all.

In the UK, as you know, the LGB seems to have separated from the transgender groups. I recall, a while ago, writing to them to ask why. They replied that Transgender has it's own groups.

I took that to mean the same as, 'Because It Is!' and left it there. British worthies can be so stubborn and it just isn't worth the hassle, trying to debate.

[JoanneB]

You can also try PFLAG at pflag.org and see if there is a chapter in your area.

+1

I've seen them do some some great work

[spacial]

Hi Joey.

This was in a thread in the People's news Section.

It looks to be perfect for your situation.

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/video?id=8994987&pid=8994691

[Arch]

Oh, now I remember why I was thinking of FFLAG instead of other groups. I was on another site where they don't know I'm trans. I was asking about good coming-out resources, and someone recommended the site. It's still worth looking into, I guess.

[aleon515]

Forgot to mention movie "Call Me Malcolm". It's about a trans guy who is going into the ministry. religion figures but it isn't the only thing. He goes on a journey and interviews people along the way, there is a support group, and he comments. He's very normal and appealing and not like what your parents might think trans people are like. Might want to watch first.

Jay