I think you're being prudent to be concerned for your safety if he has a history of violence. Even though I do have some doubts whether his gaybashing would translate into rejection or worse, I can definitely see the wisdom in avoiding that risk, at least until you're in a position of self-sufficiency.
My one concern (and this comes from my own perspective, having a dad who was not actively violent to my knowledge, who asked in my teens whether I was gay, but did so in a way that expressed more his sincere concern rather than active rejection) -- my concern is that sometimes avoiding coming out with those close to us can create unnecessary and hurtful barriers. Still, I could see the culture around me, and it gave me cause to be very cautious about what I expressed and how detailed I was about it, even though it had relatively little impact on my public presentation -- I suppose I'm being delusional about that, though, since I did avoid presenting unambiguously as female when that's really what I would have done without any external pressures. My androgyny from teen years onward was a kind of concealment, a compromise that enabled me to continue, more or less, to function.
It doesn't sound, though, like you are prepared to compromise that much, and that you do have a fairly good sense of what your next steps are.
I would also tend to hope that, given how misogyny plays a part in gaybashing, you may find that his antagonism for feminine males has little impact on how he will respond when you find the time is right to put it to a test with him, once you are in a position to separate entirely should that become necessary.
