two months in

[Riley Skye]

Two months in and I'm hoping ill see changes soon especially now that I'm on blockers and my dose has been doubled. Just patiently sitting here and waiting is all I can do as my body slowly processes these hormones I'm taking. As of now I'm starting to get rather emotional, every time i get upset now i feel like crying lol. Physically it better start coming soon because i want to start really seeing myself in the mirror

[Heather]

Most of the time you won't notice the changes until other people point them out to you. It does take patience hormones don't work over night eventually you'll look in the mirror and see changes. But if your like me you'll only briefly see the changes. Between being over critical of myself. But just give your body time there is no need to be in a rush.

[Joanna Dark]

I'm pre-HRT but I tried to transition for a month last year (I stopped for two reasons I won't get into) and you're still really early but it's a good sign if you're getting emotional. When you start tearing up in sad scenes you'll know your getting closer. And when you cry at something happy happening, you're really close. Try to be patient though; i know i wasn't last year and got upset it wasn't happening fast enough. Remember, it's not magic it's biology and will take time. It sucks we're in the USA and can't get androcour as that stops testosterone in its tracks. It's effectively chemical castration. Then estrogen will work better. Of course, some people change their mind and in that case spiro is better as it isn't as powerful and I believe (but don't quote me) it reverses more easily whereas androcour doesn't. Heather is right too sometimes it's easier for others too see.

BTW Heather I love love love your top. You look so good in it. It really highlights your femininity a lil better then your last pic. (Not that you last pic was bad at all i just like the top). Seriously it's really cute and i want to borrow it.

[EmmaS]

Most of the time you won't notice the changes until other people point them out to you. It does take patience hormones don't work over night eventually you'll look in the mirror and see changes. But if your like me you'll only briefly see the changes. Between being over critical of myself. But just give your body time there is no need to be in a rush.

I completely agree, patience is so important it is SO HARD as well, but don't fret, changes will happen in no time. I'm not sure if I noticed changes first or noticed people looking at me a little funny

[Heather]

I thought I would add some more to what I said earlier. The funny thing is my mom is normally the person who points out my changes. Which has led to some amusing conversations. Like the OMG your getting boobs conversation or your face is changing you said it wouldn't happen this quick conversation. I'm really hoping for the you don't look like a guy anymore conversation. JuliaVB hang in there you'll have moments like these sooner than you think

BTW Heather I love love love your top. You look so good in it. It really highlights your femininity a lil better then your last pic. (Not that you last pic was bad at all i just like the top). Seriously it's really cute and i want to borrow it.

Thank You! I love that top too hands down the best find I've made at a goodwill. The top from my last photo actually looks better if I took a picture of the whole outfit.

[Joanna Dark]

Wow, you have a nice mom Heather. She sounds super supportive. I have no idea how my mom will react. I may be kicked out. I don't mean immediately. She wouldn't do that. I mean she may just get really mean and tell me to look for someplace else to live and stay out of her sight. My family are Irish catholics and she goes too church. My mom is also the first person to notice anything different about me and I'm really uncertain as to what will happen. The other day she knew I was wearing the teeniest bit of mascara and she asked about it and not in a good way. She basically said stop you look nice as it is. Obviously, she wasn't thinking "hmm, he prob wants to be a woman."

Of course, my mom and I share aveeno lavendar body wash which is meant for women and smells like flowers and she bought me a purple loofah, so she is aware I like womanly things and don't mind smelling like flowers...plus, the other day my mom, my sister-in-law and I gabbed at the end of my brother's birthday dinner about the oscars and dress and purses so she has to know something. It could only be described as girl talk. Maybe they think I'm gay though since my sister-in-law was talking about magic mike and i was like "it's funny" and she said "yeah I'm sure that was why you watched it. For the dialogue." Wink wink.

I'm hoping since I'm not exactly the portrait of masculinity that I'll be able to hold off any conversation for a long time, like two years. Women pass as men all the time. Joan of Arc. And many others. So I should be able to too. I'll still look like me just younger and with smooth translucent skin. My major worry is my muscles getting liquidated which I obviulsy want to happen but that might out me more then anything else.

[anya921]

I think most obvious changes are the emotional ones. As months passed after I started HRT I didn't notice most of the physical changes that happened.  I think it because the physical changes are happening gradually and I always got used to what I saw in the mirror. Only thing that convince me of my changes was the odd friend I met once in couple of months. They will always say, "Gosh you  have become much prettier than the last time I saw you" other than that I had to look in to my old pictures to see what really happened after HRT   and after 21 months their is a huge difference now. I can't even recognize the person in my old pictures.  . This is same with the breasts for me. I always thought HRT had very little effect on them but last week when we are going through a catalog with my sister and  I realized that we have the same Bra size. ( But still I strongly feel that I need more volume in that department)

The thing is you will always be too critical of your self about the way you look and sometimes you need believe what others say is not just to feel you better. They say you look good because you are and when the person sitting next to you start to flirt with you, you will realize what they said is true.

[anya921]

and add to my post about emotional changes, I still remember the first day I cried after starting HRT, before my HRT the only think that made me cry was my anger. when I am too angry I always cried but other than that I never got emotional and cried, But after month in to HRT my mother said something and I got so emotional. I went to my room hug my pillow and started to sob and after minutes later I was crying my eyes out and the moment I realize I am crying like a little girl on my bed hugging a pillow I felt sooo happy about it. Finally I am crying like a  girl. I was crying because I was sad and the same time I was happy because I am crying.
I was being sad and happy at the same time. OMG that is the most weird feeling I ever  had.

[Heather]

Wow, you have a nice mom Heather. She sounds super supportive. I have no idea how my mom will react. I may be kicked out. I don't mean immediately. She wouldn't do that. I mean she may just get really mean and tell me to look for someplace else to live and stay out of her sight. My family are Irish catholics and she goes too church. My mom is also the first person to notice anything different about me and I'm really uncertain as to what will happen. The other day she knew I was wearing the teeniest bit of mascara and she asked about it and not in a good way. She basically said stop you look nice as it is. Obviously, she wasn't thinking "hmm, he prob wants to be a woman."

Yeah she is nice I don't know about super supportive though. She is coming along though it didn't start out that way. The way you expect your mom to react is how my mom reacted she did get mean there for a good month or two. But she is starting too accept that I going to do this and she wants me in her life so things have gotten a hole lot better between us. The funny thing is this is the second time I've been out too my parents! I told them the first time when I was 15. I would hate to know what I would be going through had this time been the first time I had told her.

I'm hoping since I'm not exactly the portrait of masculinity that I'll be able to hold off any conversation for a long time, like two years. Women pass as men all the time. Joan of Arc. And many others. So I should be able to too. I'll still look like me just younger and with smooth translucent skin. My major worry is my muscles getting liquidated which I obviulsy want to happen but that might out me more then anything else.

It's not only the physical changes that will out you its the mental changes that occur on hormones that can out you that's how my sister found out and I had only been on hormones two weeks then. Being on hormones is not something you can hide trust me. You should probably tell your parents as soon as you can. I don't think you could go two years without them noticing something. You would probably be lucky to make it six months. I would suggest when you do tell her that you have a good therapist or someone who will support you. Because my therapist was the only support I had there in the first few months. I don't know what I would have done without her.

[anya921]

Yeah she is nice I don't know about super supportive though. She is coming along though it didn't start out that way. The way you expect your mom to react is how my mom reacted she did get mean there for a good month or two.

Only two months, you are so lucky, My mother took 5 years to come around.

Being on hormones is not something you can hide trust me. You should probably tell your parents as soon as you can. I don't think you could go two years without them noticing something. You would probably be lucky to make it six months.

This is sooo true, My mother found out in 6 months first time I attempt to transition. She noticed all the little changes on me enough for her to go though my stuff. 

[Heather]

Only two months, you are so lucky, My mother took 5 years to come around.

The first time I told my parents I was in high school then I kind of got scared back into the closet. But I don't know if you can ever say I was back in the closet. Because once out you can never really go back! (My mom liked too pretend I wasn't trans.) But now that I'm in my thirty's I went about coming out to her a lot better this time. So if you look at this way it took my mom 18 years to come around.

This is sooo true, My mother found out in 6 months first time I attempt to transition. She noticed all the little changes on me enough for her to go though my stuff. 

I'm so glad I took my therapist advice and told her before I started. Actually my therapist ask me if I was going to tell my mom and I made the joke what she doesn't know won't hurt her. And my therapist shot me I don't you can hide this look. So I decided to tell my mom about going on hormones. But there is no way I would have been able to hide this from my family.

[Riley Skye]

Transition is basically forcing me to become patient with this whole process. On the other hand I know that its starting to work due to the fact I am getting all emotional over things that normally wouldn't have made me in the past. The on thing I've really noticed so far has been my hair starting to grow back in only a couple months which is a huge plus! I'm also so happy to have the love and full support of my friends and family, its honestly great to have such support. Overall it has been smooth sailing and I just need a little patience.

[Joanna Dark]

It's not only the physical changes that will out you its the mental changes that occur on hormones that can out you that's how my sister found out and I had only been on hormones two weeks then. Being on hormones is not something you can hide trust me.

I never thought about the emotional changes. It's too late to warn them as I start Monday. I'm so excited I didn't even sleep but I did clean the entire house top to bottom. The thing is I'm already quite an emotional person but if I become even more emotional kinda like what Anya described, which was such a cute anecdote, that could be a problem. It's hard to imagine myself crying like that but given I'm already emotional I should prob anticipate it. It kinda sounds nice and cathartic. Crying always makes me feel better. I live with my mom too and she does notice little things. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything about my eyebrows. She might tonight when we watch a movie unless she is on the phone. She was looking right at them. I did go overboard and I love them this way but they are noticeable. And I'm wearing all women's clothes. So, this is kinda like telling her. She told me the other day that I don't need to wear mascara. I just kinda mumbled. And if I tell her the whole family will gang up on me and try to talk me out of it. I know a lot of people say their transition is/was do or die and they got to a point where they just had to transition or die. I'm there. I'm 30 years old and I don't want to waste another precious second. That's why I think it's a bad idea to say anything until I can get enough money and a regular paycheck (I'm an independent contractor) because if it goes wrong when I tell them I need to be able to have my own apartment. That's $600-700 for a studio where I am. That's all I need. I could get a room though at a rooming house for $100-125 a week . I wouldn't need a paycheck for that. Just cash upfront. I can't believe I start Monday. I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy and excited.

[Heather]

Yeah hormones have so many affects I didn't realize at first. It's actually funny how my sister found out it wasn't the crying it was all the giggling/laughing I was doing that day which led her to ask my mom what's up with me. Which my mom told her. Well in a way I'm glad I didn't tell her but in another way I wish I had. It sounds like your mom suspects something is up with you. Which could work in your favor. You don't want to completely catch a parent off guard. Dropping little hints here and there might help her come to terms with this easier. Instead of hey I'm trans! Anyway congratulations! I know Monday will be a huge day for you.

[PHXGiRL]

Patience is what you have to tell yourself. Rome was not built over night. Stay strong sis. Look forward take LOTS of pictures. The more pictures you take the more you will notice the change when you look back.

[noleen111]

Two months in and I'm hoping ill see changes soon especially now that I'm on blockers and my dose has been doubled. Just patiently sitting here and waiting is all I can do as my body slowly processes these hormones I'm taking. As of now I'm starting to get rather emotional, every time i get upset now i feel like crying lol. Physically it better start coming soon because i want to start really seeing myself in the mirror

Have patience, the changes will happen.

For, noticeable  fat distribution to my hips and my skin looking feminine only really started towards the end of my first year of HRT. My appearance changed a lot during my second year.

However my breasts started growing soon after starting, My breasts were starting to get noticeable at two months, I was almost an A cup and had to wear a bra full time at the point. 

Emotionally, I was more sensitive, especially after I got my hormone shots..

[anya921]

Patience is what you have to tell yourself. Rome was not built over night. Stay strong sis. Look forward take LOTS of pictures. The more pictures you take the more you will notice the change when you look back.

Agreed, and after year or more looking back at your old pics to see how far you have came will be one of the most rewarding things

[Jennygirl]

If you feel the hormones are not generating enough right now, then do things that make you feel feminine- or seek out any of the other various avenues of femininity and try new stuff. Find what makes you FEEL good and more whole.

I think I've had some pretty okay physical changes after almost 3 months, but I know that most of the noticeable changes I've acquired came from putting the time in learning how to experience life as a girl. After all, hormones will not do it all. Mannerisms, makeup, fashion, voice (to name a few) all help with seeing your true self in the mirror- and hormones have nothing to do with any of those.

Honestly, we've got a lot of catching up to do! GG's have had their whole life and grew up enabled to embrace their femininity. We all have different experiences and are usually a bit behind depending on when we started transition. This can be looked at as a blessing in disguise, though, because in every way our femininity is VIRGIN! Maybe we didn't have to grow up with mean girls and boys making fun of us for fully embracing ourselves ("too girly") or having to deal with other raspy social cues. Instead, we get to enjoy our femininity to the fullest-- in the best way we see fit for ourselves. We are lucky in that regard. Many GG's get jaded by others' viewpoints on who they should be and reject femininity in all of it's beautiful glory as they grow up. I think this is why I read about so many MtF's being "more girly" than their significant others or GG friends. I mean, we really WANT to be girls... like... bad.. Lol.

Enjoy it, embrace it, seek it, learn it, and have a great time with every part of it. You are probably already doing this, but I just wanted to write it out because this aspect of transition has been on my mind a lot the past couple of weeks. And I can literally feel myself passing more every day as I become more confident in the things I'm learning- totally separate from any bodily changes.

I COMPLETELY understand the eagerness / feeling of wanting to "get somewhere". I have that eagerness every day. But there are so many things to experience other than just hormonal effects... so many things that can (and will) change the visual and mental perception of your outward self to you and to other people- regardless of the way that your body reacts to E.

[Jennygirl]

And yes, take LOTS of pictures!

+1 +1 +1 +1 +1 +1

[Riley Skye]

So far right now since I was on too low of a dose and still looking kind of male, I have a decently feminine body for a boy, I've been dressing very tom boyish. though its not too feminine its enough to make me feel happy about myself and my friends thankfully are all completely cool. I also told one of my friends yesterday at a party I went to that she has to show me how to do make up lol. So far its just all internal the changes and the best thing in my transition is that I'm officially two months in today and have never been happier in my life