How do your children refer to you?

[rhondabythebay]

My girls have called me Dad for 21 and 14 years, respectively. I am out to them and we even go out as a family while I'm dressed. They still often call me Dad, but that is becoming increasingly uncomfortable, to me, in social situations. So what name do your children call you since you have gone full time? I'm not there yet, but I want to come up with something that we all feel comfortable with. Since my wife is Mom or Ma to them, that is out of the question. Plus I would feel funny since I'm not their mother.

Thanks in advance.

Hugs,

Rhonda

[Renae.Lupini]

My daughter calls me Aunt Renae. It gives the perception of family but not mom. I told my ex-wife I wouldn't ever let my daughter call me mom or mom number 2 or anything like that. So aunt Renae it is and my daughter has no problem with it at all. It screws people up when I call her my daughter but I don't hide the fact I am TS at all. I explain to people that I won't let her call me mom.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Doesn't apply to me but this one special I saw on TLC about a dad who transitioned and his kids still called their mom mom and the dad "Dee Dee". Maybe use a nick name or something. Hope you find something that works out. 

Lance

[tinkerbell]

I'm not a parent, but my niece and nephew call me auntie.  They have known me as I am now all their lives, so what they see is what they get. 

tink

[Rachel]

Im not a parent either, but if it isnt too weird, maybe they can just call you by your name.

[rhondabythebay]

Thanks all for your responses. I talked over these possibilities with my daughters and wife and I'm leaning towards them calling me Rhonda in public. I'll go with that unless something better comes up.

Thanks again.

Rhonda

[cindianna_jones]

While they were growing up, the called me "Um".  Or.. in other words, they would not call me anything, just a mumble to catch my attention. They would have their mother call and get me on the phone so that they wouldn't have to ask for me if Brick answered.  I fault their mother for this. She is the one that fostered this fear of my legal name.

I have asked them to just call me by my name for years.  My daughter wrote me off this year.  She never would use my name.  My son has picked it up recently and will now ask for me by name when he calls.  However, when I'm not in listening range, he will refer to me as his dad.  I have no problem with it.  I've stated my preference but if he wants to call me his dad, I'm not offended in any way.  I've told him that too.

Cindi

[rhondabythebay]

However, when I'm not in listening range, he will refer to me as his dad.  I have no problem with it.  I've stated my preference but if he wants to call me his dad, I'm not offended in any way.  I've told him that too.

Cindi

I really feel that way for the most part, there is no denying that fact. At home I'm totally cool with that, also when in the company of others that know I'm transistioning. It is coming up now because we are going to travel across country in a few weeks on a road trip and I'm planning to travel en femme the whole time. Just not everyplace is as cool as N. Cali.

Rhonda

[cindianna_jones]

Rhonda,

My son lives in Utah "in the midst".  It's just a lot easier for him to use "dad" than to have to explain all the other stuff that would go with my legal name.

Cindi

[rhondabythebay]

Rhonda,

My son lives in Utah "in the midst".  It's just a lot easier for him to use "dad" than to have to explain all the other stuff that would go with my legal name.

Cindi

I have similiar thoughts at times...the kids don't need to do the explaining and I don't want them to feel obligated to do so.

I appreciate your input Cindi. I enjoy a level headed voice of experience.

Hugs,

Rhonda

[katia]

i don't have any children but the few i know call me katia,

[Renae.Lupini]

They still often call me Dad, but that is becoming increasingly uncomfortable, to me, in social situations.

While by no means "full time" my kids are very young at 7 and 9 and perhaps because I can never get used to my youngest sometimes calling me [male name] I think I'd much prefer people think they're a tad confused than my kids ever stop referring to me as "daddy'. We are very close and there are some things that I know will never want to change . . .

My daughter was five when she put two and two together and asked why i looked like a girl. after some explaining she seemed to grasp the concept rather well. She is now on a one girl mission to educate the world. lol She has no problems bragging about "Aunt Renae". Kids don't give a damn as long you are still the parent they expect you to be. around 11 or 12 is when they start hitting puberty and then they have a whole new realm of confusion to deal with. It is best to tell them before this point so they understand and grow with you.

[Lori]

I will be known as Maddy. Not the mommy, and not the daddy, but a combination of both.

[rhondabythebay]

I will be known as Maddy. Not the mommy, and not the daddy, but a combination of both.

That's an interesting idea...

[ssindysmith]

My kids don't call me anything sad but there mother refuses to have them exposed to me as she puts it.

[rhondabythebay]

My kids don't call me anything sad but there mother refuses to have them exposed to me as she puts it.

Aww, that is sad.    I'd be cryin'. How can she get away with that?

Hugs,

Rhonda

[ssindysmith]

I was pretty messed up back then gave her full custody in exchange for no court ordered child support, although I have always sent support just nothing court ordered. Sometimes you don't always make good long term decisions.

[Lisbeth]

My older daughter calls me "Baba," which is the Hindi for "Papa."  She finds it less embarassing than "Daddy."  To the other two I'm "Dad" or "Daddy."  Deb has toyed with the idea of saying I'm her "sister-in-law."

[Sandy]

I've asked that my kids just call me Sandy.  They're well over 25 so referring to me by my first name isn't a problem.  Though sometimes when they refer to me when talking to someone else they may say something incongruous like "My dad she..."  It doesn't bother me at all.  I haven't stopped being their father any more than their mother could resign her position.

To my granddaughter, though, I am grandma Sandy.  And I am honored to be called that.

-Sandy

[rhondabythebay]

I've asked that my kids just call me Sandy.  They're well over 25 so referring to me by my first name isn't a problem. 

That is pretty much where I'm at with it....call me Rhonda is what I've said.

Though sometimes when they refer to me when talking to someone else they may say something incongruous like "My dad she..."  It doesn't bother me at all.  I haven't stopped being their father any more than their mother could resign her position.

ditto that...no reason to deny the facts...I'll always be their father. 

Rhonda