My partner experienced physical and severe emotional abuse from a previous partner. He's told me how much shame he's felt and how much he's internalized the message that men "can't" be abused and that it's their fault for "letting" a woman treat them that way. This stuff is directly tied in with sexist mantras in our society that harm men AND women: "women are weaker than men", "real men don't show pain", "real men are in charge of their women", "real men always want sex", etc. (addressing male abuse is important from a feminist perspective, too). He doesn't believe any of those things, but it's very hard not to subconsciously internalize those messages when they're blasted in our faces every day. Thankfully, he's had good experiences working on this with a therapist, but this has caused lasting damage and pain for him.
So, I feel very strongly that male abuse victims need support too. Allotting resources for them does not take away from female victims of abuse. It's very dangerous to equate "victim = female, aggressor = male" even if that is the most commonly reported scenario, for the reasons you've discussed, Joey. Not to mention that abuse also occurs in same-sex relationships too, and that shouldn't be considered less important to address.
You're not the only one who feels strongly about this! Male victims of abuse really do need more resources devoted to this problem, and I really admire your aspirations to set up an organization.
And Natkat, you have a right to your opinion, but feminism is not about women or women's issues being more important than men or men's issues. Despite what some radical, extremist feminists have said, it is about gender equality. I consider myself a feminist, and that means that I believe that men, women, and everyone in between (like me) deserve equal rights and opportunities. It's a fight against sexism, and sexism hurts men too (just look at what I've said above!).
