Just sent an email to my mom...

[Heather]

It's not over yet, folks.  I got this yesterday:

I've decided just to ignore it.  Should I be concerned that I'm feeling emotionally numb towards my parents right now?  I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I'm not disappointed, and I'm definitely not happy.  I feel nothing right now.

I'm sorry Anna I know how that feels.

[Tristan]

What does that even mean? So they are still in the ignore it stage?

[ZoeM]

If I was you, and even snarkier than I really am, I might email them this image:

(Yes, that is a picture of people in the nile. )

[Misato]

If I was you, and even snarkier than I really am, I might email them this image:

(Yes, that is a picture of people in the nile. )

Ha!

It's not over yet, folks.  I got this yesterday:

I've decided just to ignore it.  Should I be concerned that I'm feeling emotionally numb towards my parents right now?  I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I'm not disappointed, and I'm definitely not happy.  I feel nothing right now.

I'm in the same boat regarding my old man, Anna.  I don't understand this idea that just because someone is family why we had handle a situation like this differently.  Anyone else treated you like they've treated you I've no doubt you'd, I'd follow up with a "see ya!"

I've also encounter a lot of talk about how we're selfish for transitioning.  Nay. A demonstration of selfishness is right there in that last e-mail from your mom.  She clearly does not care about you, or at least she cares about herself a lot more.  It's not surprising that you've gone cold to them cause they don't care.  What's the phrase, "unrequited love" from you to them.

Hang in there Anna.  You're going to have an awesome transition!

[Anna++]

What does that even mean? So they are still in the ignore it stage?

That's what it seems like.  It took me 12 years to move out of that stage, I hope they'll get through it quicker.

If I was you, and even snarkier than I really am, I might email them this image:

(Yes, that is a picture of people in the nile. )

Hahaha!  That's actually somewhat tempting

I've also encounter a lot of talk about how we're selfish for transitioning.  Nay. A demonstration of selfishness is right there in that last e-mail from your mom.  She clearly does not care about you, or at least she cares about herself a lot more.  It's not surprising that you've gone cold to them cause they don't care.  What's the phrase, "unrequited love" from you to them.

Agreed.  She's asking me to make myself unhappy so that she doesn't have to learn how to accept LGBT people, and that's not cool with me.  I've only had 41 days of HRT and I already know that I could never go back!

[Anna++]

I don't want to make a second thread, so my updates are going here.  My parents have been behaving (for some definition of "behaving" that mostly means I haven't heard anything too horrible from them in a few weeks).  I discovered a voicemail from my mom saying that she and my dad are always thinking about me that was sent a couple of hours before their flight to California to visit my brother.  I decided to try updating them on my life to see how they react!  Here is what I sent:

Hi Mom and Dad,

I haven't talked to you in a while, so I figured I would update you on how I've been doing recently. And I've been doing really well! I've been really busy with both working and my friends in Ann Arbor. I also took a weekend trip to Chicago to visit with friends out there.

I also started hormones a while ago. I can honestly say I haven't felt this great in years! I'm sleeping better, I'm happier, and I've even had a few people comment on how I'm more social now. It's an amazing feeling and I know that this is the right path for me. I hope you can understand.

I hope you have fun visiting with <brother> in California! How is everything else going on your end?

[Heather]

I don't want to make a second thread, so my updates are going here.  My parents have been behaving (for some definition of "behaving" that mostly means I haven't heard anything too horrible from them in a few weeks).  I discovered a voicemail from my mom saying that she and my dad are always thinking about me that was sent a couple of hours before their flight to California to visit my brother.  I decided to try updating them on my life to see how they react!  Here is what I sent:

Anna I think that's a good idea to keep a line of communication open with your parents. It shows you care about them still after all you and your parents have been through the past few months. Give it some time the fact your not updating this thread much is a good sign and they might come around eventually. 

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I am loving your new profile pic btw Anna. Sorry, probably the wrong place for it, but still.. :-)

[Noah]

Thats a brilliant letter you sent them. Its absolutely perfect...I hope they respond decently...so impressed by you - and you look beautiful.

Di

[Anna++]

Give it some time the fact your not updating this thread much is a good sign and they might come around eventually. 

They have slowed down a little bit and I don't hear as much from them.  There have been a few emails that I skipped posting here, but still shared with my Facebook friends.

I am loving your new profile pic btw Anna. Sorry, probably the wrong place for it, but still.. :-)

Thanks!  I've only worn that shirt a few times, but it's quickly become on of my favorites

Thats a brilliant letter you sent them. Its absolutely perfect...I hope they respond decently...so impressed by you - and you look beautiful.

Di

No reply yet.  They're both in California until early next week, so I don't expect them to read it until then.  I just wanted to get it out of the way while I was thinking about it.  If I had waited a week I may not have followed through.

[Anna++]

My mom called at 1:30 this morning, and I just listened to the voicemail.

- They are having fun in California with my brother
- They're happy that I'm happier now, but they're unhappy that I'm taking this route
- They have a history with their son, not with Anna (I guess I need to remind them that my memories won't be wiped, and that I'll still be the same person)
- They don't know what is in store for the future of our family, they haven't mentioned anything about me to anybody else.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

Same old...  But it sounds less pushy and,  well,  less crazy.  At least those sets of lesbians from Mars are no longer draining your brain energy.  Must be the tin foil hat. 

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I always think it's cool that our tickers are the same date :-)   

[Anna++]

Same old...  But it sounds less pushy and,  well,  less crazy.  At least those sets of lesbians from Mars are no longer draining your brain energy.  Must be the tin foil hat.

So... progress on their end?

I always think it's cool that our tickers are the same date :-)   

I know, right


Here's the latest from my mom.  The beginning was a summary of their California adventure, followed by:

So, as always we had another enjoyable family adventure.  The only thing missing is YOU.

Next Sunday your dad has to leave for Spain for work.  Would it be possible for us to get together that afternoon and for dinner?  Maybe we could go somewhere for a walk that afternoon.  Also, if we do get together, could you look like <Male name> for me?  I have been a mess crying (and sometimes throwing up) because of this issue we are having.  I even started crying while riding the BART into SF.  So, you can see I'm having an extremely had time with this and I need you to help me before I jump off a cliff.

Let me know if next Sunday will work.  I think it might be about July 14 but I don't have a calendar in front of me.

Would meeting them be a good idea?

[Heather]

Anna only you can answer that! If it was me I would try to work things out with your parents at least reach some sort of truce. But your mom right now might not be willing to do that now she is still grieving. And I noticed a lot of how she feeling about this without actually asking how your handling this. So there is a certain element of selfishness going on here where your mom seems to want to tell you how much pain she's in. But is not to concerned how your feeling. She probably trying to guilt you out of your decision to transition. I know this because my mom uses the same tactic. But the choice whether or not to meet with her should come down to Whether your up too it. I hope everything works out for you. 

[Anna++]

I'm not going to reach a decision on if I'll meet right away.  The only thing I have decided is that IF I go, I'm bringing a friend.

[ZoeM]

I'm not going to reach a decision on if I'll meet right away.  The only thing I have decided is that IF I go, I'm bringing a friend.

Anna,
Good luck if you do decide to go. Just know you have incredible strength to face this - more than any three cisfolks. I shall pray for you.

[Antonia J]

Anna only you can answer that! If it was me I would try to work things out with your parents at least reach some sort of truce. But your mom right now might not be willing to do that now she is still grieving. And I noticed a lot of how she feeling about this without actually asking how your handling this. So there is a certain element of selfishness going on here where your mom seems to want to tell you how much pain she's in. But is not to concerned how your feeling. She probably trying to guilt you out of your decision to transition. I know this because my mom uses the same tactic. But the choice whether or not to meet with her should come down to Whether your up too it. I hope everything works out for you. 

This 100%.

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

If it were me my paranoia tendencies wouldn't allow me to go as I'd be worried they'd be setting me up to get locked away in a mental asylum, as archaic as that sounds it does still happen unfortunately. Also it does seem like she is making it about her still and not asking you how you are handling everything. That said it is your decision and taking a friend would be a good idea if you do go.

[Anna++]

I'm leaning towards going, but it's not going to be at either my place or their's.  I hope to find a nice, public coffee shop to meet at.  If things begin turn hostile I'll be able to get up and leave.