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loneliness

Started by Riley Skye, March 11, 2013, 12:36:43 PM

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Riley Skye

So lately ive been feeling a tad lonely in transition. Its not because i have no friends but because I only know one person who is trans who is pre transitional. Id love to talk to another college age girl whose going through the process to have an experienced friend who can help. I was fortunately told by my therapist that another girl will be going to a monthly group meeting tomorrow. There are other women there but theyre older than me unfortunately so its tough to relate. Also the glbt clubs i go to all the trans people there my age are guys. Transition for me otherwise is going rather well albeit lonely. Guess im just trying to outreach here because id just love to talk to someone around my age whose in college.
Love and peace are eternal
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A

Well, I'm not anywhere near your area, but if you want to talk, I sure don't mind. Though in many domains you might be disappointed by my lack of experience. :p

Anyway, I'm very lonely too, being heartbroken and having only one friend (online of course), the same person, who I haven't seen in weeks without an explanation.
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Ms. OBrien CVT

I can totally relate.  I have some people I see ever now and then, but I generally am alone and don't go anywhere.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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Joanna Dark

Unfornately at your age there is this impressiuon that anyone who is older, I'm 30 and I know I would seem old to you, you can't relate to. I had this same mindset when I was in college. Most do. After college, in your mid-20s, age ceases to matter so much for whatever reason. I think it has a lot to do with High School and for 12 years focusing on age, i.e. grade 1, 2 ,3,...12. It's tough to let that go but it does go away. Sometimes being lonely is good too. It allows you to grow as a person. The people I know who are relationship hoppers and are never ever alone are very immature. Humans were designed to spend large periods ofd time isolated. Hence our imaginations. Think back to the 1700s, I bet people then never knew more than a couple people and never went more then a couple miles in any one direction (most people). The steam engine changed all that but it was only 200 years ago and as a species we are a million years old with about 6,000 years of history. Sorry for the tangent I guess that doesn't help much. The other thing is you should enjoy yor 20s I always had friends then and as of right now I haven't talked to anyone since Saturday. I generally go days at a time without saying a word. I'm also starting over though so I don't mind much.
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Sybil

I'm in my mid-20s and I would offer to be your friend, but I'm no longer in college. I don't know if that's a real deal-breaker for you or not.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 11, 2013, 01:13:09 PM
Unfornately at your age there is this impressiuon that anyone who is older, I'm 30 and I know I would seem old to you, you can't relate to. I had this same mindset when I was in college. Most do.
I go back and forth on this. I'm 27 now, but growing up I did generally prefer to have older friends. For me it tends to be limited by interests and demeanor; I prefer serious or deep conversation topics, but dislike airs of importance or the inability to be wacky. I admit I do feel a little awkward if I hang out with someone much, much older (12+ years) -- they tend to bear down on me and carry this notion of superior experience. It can be exhausting. .. I'm not really sure what the point of me saying this was, maybe that not everyone shuns older friends, but you did say "most." Also, you really do look like Joanna Dark. I think that's really awesome.

Why do I always write such incredibly long posts?
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Riley Skye

Honestly i know age is a number but still being in school and just starting your life is a lot and a different experience. When out of college it will start just becoming yet another number. Its only a bit tough since i dont really know anyone in person. Its hard to relate to people who already have careers and even families.
Love and peace are eternal
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Sarah Louise

I was a loner long before I transitioned.  I actually talk to people more now than I ever did in my old life.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Heather

Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 12:36:43 PM
So lately ive been feeling a tad lonely in transition. Its not because i have no friends but because I only know one person who is trans who is pre transitional. Id love to talk to another college age girl whose going through the process to have an experienced friend who can help. I was fortunately told by my therapist that another girl will be going to a monthly group meeting tomorrow. There are other women there but theyre older than me unfortunately so its tough to relate. Also the glbt clubs i go to all the trans people there my age are guys. Transition for me otherwise is going rather well albeit lonely. Guess im just trying to outreach here because id just love to talk to someone around my age whose in college.
I understand loneliness but you should really give group a try even though there all older than you. Since I been going to group I have met some very interesting people a lot of which are older than me. Just because someone is older doesn't mean you can't have things in common. :) 
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Riley Skye

Honestly i know age is a number but still being in school and just starting your life is a lot and a different experience. When out of college it will start just becoming yet another number. Its only a bit tough since i dont really know anyone in person. Its hard to relate to people who already have careers and even families.
Love and peace are eternal
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Riley Skye

Quote from: Heather on March 11, 2013, 01:41:09 PM
I understand loneliness but you should really give group a try even though there all older than you. Since I been going to group I have met some very interesting people a lot of which are older than me. Just because someone is older doesn't mean you can't have things in common. :)

Definitely have been trying. Last time i was there i spoke to a couple other guys and an older women. It went well but unfortunately im very nervous meeting new people lol
Love and peace are eternal
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Heather

Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:09:06 PM
Honestly i know age is a number but still being in school and just starting your life is a lot and a different experience. When out of college it will start just becoming yet another number. Its only a bit tough since i dont really know anyone in person. Its hard to relate to people who already have careers and even families.
I'm 34 and I can't relate to people with careers and family's. :laugh:
Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:11:20 PM
Definitely have been trying. Last time i was there i spoke to a couple other guys and an older women. It went well but unfortunately im very nervous meeting new people lol
In the past I was a bit shy about meeting people too. But actually since starting hormones I'm finding it way more easy to meet new people.
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Riley Skye

I hope the introductions of hormones helps my shyness. Honestly i ha e so much on my mind with these hormones like how will i be reacting to them as my doses increase to whether ill see results or not. Guess i need to make more of an effort just to talk to people.
Love and peace are eternal
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Keira

Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:33:49 PM
I hope the introductions of hormones helps my shyness. Honestly i ha e so much on my mind with these hormones like how will i be reacting to them as my doses increase to whether ill see results or not. Guess i need to make more of an effort just to talk to people.

At least you have the ability to get hormones...I don't.
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Heather

Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:33:49 PM
I hope the introductions of hormones helps my shyness. Honestly i ha e so much on my mind with these hormones like how will i be reacting to them as my doses increase to whether ill see results or not. Guess i need to make more of an effort just to talk to people.
Part of it could be hormones. But I think the biggest factor is I'm no longer ashamed of who I am. And I just feel like I want to be around people now.
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Riley Skye

Quote from: Heather on March 11, 2013, 02:39:42 PM
Part of it could be hormones. But I think the biggest factor is I'm no longer ashamed of who I am. And I just feel like I want to be around people now.

I was always shy, something that i gotta really work on if im to make it through this all well
Love and peace are eternal
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Heather

Quote from: JuliaVB on March 11, 2013, 02:48:43 PM
I was always shy, something that i gotta really work on if im to make it through this all well
The funny thing is when I was a kid I was not shy at all. But as I got older I became more and more shy. But now I'm kind of going back to the way I was when I was a kid. :o
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Joanna Dark

Quote from: Sybil on March 11, 2013, 01:26:19 PM
Also, you really do look like Joanna Dark. I think that's really awesome.

Aww thank you so much. You made my day. I love her. And now i am her. Ha! And yeah I totally agree that 12 + years is a break point. I tend to think if you go 7 years in either direction friend-wise, you'll find something in common. I mean anyone who is 33 and younger on this board technically a millennial so there's that. I Believe Gen X ended in '74. My sister and brothers are Gen X and I have trouble relating to them except the brother who is three years older than me.

I hung out once with this guy who was about nine years older than me and we got along great. I really miss him in fact. This was like 4 years ago and I was 26-27 and he was like 36ish. But I guess in general, friends that are four years apart orr less is prob the best since you'll have a lot more ciultural experiences in common.
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Heather

Quote from: Joanna Dark on March 11, 2013, 03:14:13 PM
I mean anyone who is 33 and younger on this board technically a millennial so there's that.
I just turned 34 what does that make me? And you do look like Joanna Dark. :)
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Sayada

Quote from: Heather on March 11, 2013, 03:23:50 PM
I just turned 34 what does that make me? And you do look like Joanna Dark. :)

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Ms. OBrien CVT

Excuse me.  Was that mean for Heather?  Not cool and against the TOS.

  
It does not take courage or bravery to change your gender.  It takes fear of living one more day in the wrong one.~me
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