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girlfriendss

Started by oZma, March 12, 2013, 06:59:49 PM

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oZma

nevermind... ill keep it to myself
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Anna++

I know plenty of girls that don't have many female friends (both of my ex-girlfriends, for example).  So you're not too abnormal there.  Definitely don't forget your past, since it made you into the person you are today.  I've seen some local girl-only meetup.com groups near where I live, so maybe check there?  At the very least you might find a general "lets hang out and do something fun" group to help you make lots of friends :)
Sometimes I blog things

Of course I'm sane.  When trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.



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Chris29

I haven't many female friends either, but recently I reconnected to an old female friend of mine whom I haven't met for quite some time and we really became good friends. And for example, I think for a girl she has atleast as many male friends as female ones.
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Rena-san

I have nothing but female friends. I feel that I can only relate to them. I could never relate to males or stand them to be honest. But the problem I always faced when trying to be male is that females were scared or unsure of me. But when I accepted my female nature, things improved drastically, with a little work from me of course. I would suggest that maybe you try to reconnect with a female in your life that you know/knew. Send her an email or something. Facebook her. Just say something like this, lets pretend her name is Jessica too:

"Hi Jessica, this is (old male name), I know we were never really close, but I thought that perhaps you could help me. I know this is a stretch and I don't blame you if you don't want to be friends, but I'm now (new female name) and I am transitioning from male to female. I am going through a lot and would basically like a girl I could connect to and relate with to kinda teach me the in and outs of female socialization. Sincerely, (new nickname)"

Try this if you can. I've done it and it does work, for me at least. I promise you that if you put yourself out there some female is going to relate to you and want to help you and receive help from you (this part is important mind you). Thats what females do. I know it's scary, but you can do it. I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to have girlfriends and just be able to talk to them about anything and to listen to them about anything. The risk is huge, but the reward is so very amazing. Please try this, and don't give up. 

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kathy bottoms

Oh my, is it true?  Please stay well and happy. 

Hugs Kathy
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MaidofOrleans

Did she commit forum suicide?
"For transpeople, using the right pronoun is NOT simply a 'political correctness' issue. It's core to the entire struggle transpeople go through. Using the wrong pronoun means 'I don't recognize you as who you are.' It means 'I think you're confused, delusional, or mentally I'll.'. It means 'you're not important enough for me to acknowledge your struggle.'"
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Alainaluvsu

I used to want women friends to help me with transition and to have that girl bond. Now that I'm living as a girl, I couldn't care less. You don't need em. Women can be shady as hell and can flip out over the stupidest crap.

And yes, I'm projecting. But in general it's true!!
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: kkut on March 20, 2013, 12:16:02 AM
I tend to feel this way. I use to feel men and women were so different, now they seem very similar.

You know, in a way you're right. It used to be the men that would kind of roll their eyes at me and shrug me off and the women that smiled at me and were more helpful, now it's the other way around. Before I transitioned I would've thought that women would be nicer.. you know, girl power and all that stuff. That stuff is so fake. We help each other only when a man is trying to hurt one of us somehow.

But oh - let me tell a girl I'm trans and I'm automatically their best friend ever.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Shantel

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 20, 2013, 01:28:37 AM
You know, in a way you're right. It used to be the men that would kind of roll their eyes at me and shrug me off and the women that smiled at me and were more helpful, now it's the other way around. Before I transitioned I would've thought that women would be nicer.. you know, girl power and all that stuff. That stuff is so fake. We help each other only when a man is trying to hurt one of us somehow.

But oh - let me tell a girl I'm trans and I'm automatically their best friend ever.

Yes to all of what you're saying. I used to go dancing at a gay bar in Seattle, it had a big dance floor, great sound system and the entire GLBT crowd showed up. Straight women came in droves and loved to dance with the gays and trans women, probably because they thought it was safe or were looking for a kinky hookup. The last time I was there this nice looking cis woman wanted to dance, she pulled her top off and all I could think of was that her black lace balcony bra looked terrific on her. She was obviously ripped and I sat her down and pulled her top back on her. Meanwhile her husband or boyfriend was sitting close by with a drink in his hand and an amused look on his face. I recalled telling him to get up off his ass and take her right home and that I would be holding him accountable for her safety. I don't know where that came from...sorry but this thread brought back that memory and I just had to share it.
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MaidofOrleans

Quote from: kkut on March 20, 2013, 10:55:18 AM
I considered starting a new thread but I'll just say it in this one. Seems fitting because it has to do with oZma, but there's a general point I want to make as well.

oZma's thread had so much relevance to so many people on this forum. She discussed social difficulties and whether SRS might help her feel more gender congruent and thus more socially skilled. She talked about the difficulties of making female friends post transition. She essentially poured her heart out and was seeking support.

Four responses?

I didn't respond either (so I'm not 'guiltless'). But I haven't transitioned, plus I'm a 49 year old single parent of three and I haven't even begun to consider SRS yet. Therefore, any response of mine likely wouldn't be relevant and I think given the seriousness of her post, wouldn't have been helpful.

The 'Bad Jokes' thread is what, up to page 60 by now? That incredibly stupid thread on gagging while giving BJ's got a whole lot more than four responses, I could go on and on BTW.

oZma was one of the first people to send me a PM after I registered on this site, she made me feel welcome.

This is a support site and should be supportive of all IMO.

Thanks.

Not everyone has an opinion/comment or sometimes they need time to formulate one.

Scolding isn't going to get you anywhere, blaming people for lack of commenting certainly isn't the right choice.

oZma had her issues and this one was brought up numerously and discussed numerously in other threads with her. Normally they would end with her not liking or not being satisfied with the responses and deleting her posts like it never happened, just like she did here. I often had my thought out comments ignored or argued with so I stopped giving them.

What oZma needed was to do more internal searching for answers, most of her questions only she could answer. Most of her issues revolved around low self esteem and image, thinking that the next stage of transition would fix them. I told her numerous times that it would not be the case but I was ignored which is why I didn't bother commenting.  I can't say they weren't relevant either considering me and oZma were so much alike in age, history and reasons for transition.
"For transpeople, using the right pronoun is NOT simply a 'political correctness' issue. It's core to the entire struggle transpeople go through. Using the wrong pronoun means 'I don't recognize you as who you are.' It means 'I think you're confused, delusional, or mentally I'll.'. It means 'you're not important enough for me to acknowledge your struggle.'"
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Heather

Quote from: kkut on March 20, 2013, 10:55:18 AM
I considered starting a new thread but I'll just say it in this one. Seems fitting because it has to do with oZma, but there's a general point I want to make as well.

oZma's thread had so much relevance to so many people on this forum. She discussed social difficulties and whether SRS might help her feel more gender congruent and thus more socially skilled. She talked about the difficulties of making female friends post transition. She essentially poured her heart out and was seeking support.

Four responses?

I didn't respond either (so I'm not 'guiltless'). But I haven't transitioned, plus I'm a 49 year old single parent of three and I haven't even begun to consider SRS yet. Therefore, any response of mine likely wouldn't be relevant and I think given the seriousness of her post, wouldn't have been helpful.

The 'Bad Jokes' thread is what, up to page 60 by now? That incredibly stupid thread on gagging while giving BJ's got a whole lot more than four responses, I could go on and on BTW.

oZma was one of the first people to send me a PM after I registered on this site, she made me feel welcome.

This is a support site and should be supportive of all IMO.

Thanks.
I'm going to miss her too! I think she had a lot to offer to this site which its unfortunate shes gone. That last day she was posting on here there was something she said in a post that I could really relate too. But I had to go to work and couldn't respond and by the time I had got off work she was no longer around apparently. So I didn't respond!  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135879.msg1105142.html#msg1105142 But I should have anyway   
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Devlyn

Ozma sent a crass message to me after I changed her post to read "reach an orgasm" the message included thirty three different ways to say "male ejaculation" and ended with this:

"is all slang off the table? or just ones you don't like?"

I won't miss her.

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Shantel

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 20, 2013, 11:48:58 AM
Ozma sent a crass message to me after I changed her post to read "reach an orgasm" the message included thirty three different ways to say "male ejaculation" and ended with this:

"is all slang off the table? or just ones you don't like?"

I won't miss her.

I will, she was disliked by many out of jealousy and for her conservative views. I appreciated conversing with her and think the snarky comments and attitudes of some toward her really suck!
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Alainaluvsu

Well this thread derailed...
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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kathy bottoms

All personal feelings aside, she had one post that a lot of us watched on December 13 of last year.  It was posted under "some thoughts on being a trans", and she said a few things in the video that touched a cord, and had some meaning in my life struggle. 

But, life goes on.  We all fight demons, and some deal with them better than others.

Kathy
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kira21 ♡♡♡

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 20, 2013, 12:12:40 PM
Well this thread derailed...

I like cheese (actually I would like more female friends to...  Doh!  Accidental re-railing!)

kira21 ♡♡♡

Btw why is bj sex not worthy of a response.  I responded to that thread as I thought I could help,  and,  well,  having good sex is important. (to me anyways! Lol)

muuu

#17
.
  •  

Devlyn

Quote from: kkut on March 20, 2013, 12:36:46 PM
Sorry... that was too funny.  ;D

I know you were trying to show her terrible side.... but wow, I'm really going to miss her.   ;)

Terrible, no. Immature, yes. I don't need children sending every dirty word they can think of to me. Glad you found it amusing, though. Hugs, Devlyn
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kira21 ♡♡♡

Quote from: kkut on March 20, 2013, 12:55:57 PM
If she had just googled the original title (which had to be revised), she would've gotten answers from real experts, not amatures...

Oooooohhhhh burn! Lol...  Spose i should have blanked her!