It is really nice to see the honesty and openness in most of these postings. Sadly, that is a bit of a rarity. Most girls seem to want to direct people to the surgeon they used simply to reinforce that their decision was correct. One girl wrote the following explanaition which kind of sums up that tendency of many people. I also wonder what happens with the silent majority of Tans women that do not post at all or perhaps they just moved on with their lives. It would be nice to see some of them come back to post on
occasion.Here are the thoughts I mentioned quoted below
"My most important thought about asking people about their experiences is that in virtually every case, everyone is happy with their choice of surgeon and everyone is happy with their result. Further, everyone wants to believe they made the best choice and want to see that choice validated by having others make the same choice. As a consequence, you really can't trust anyone's account of their own experience and satisfaction with their own surgeon and surgery (and that includes me).
Is there a difference between these surgeons? I'm sure there is. They use different techniques and they are bound to produce different results. Does it matter which one you go to? That depends on how you view the question. Whatever surgeon you go to, you are in all likelihood going to be happy with the result. However, that is much more a function of human psychology than it is a question of the result. This is a major decision. It's a permanent change to your body. No one likes to think they made a wrong decision. So people convince themselves they made the right choice. They ignore any evidence that there may have been better choices. They go on to become vocal advocates of the choice they made to continue convincing themselves they made the right choice. I have never met anyone who says they really wish they had gone to a different surgeon.
Paraphrased * Many people feel that their choice of surgeon must be validated, and they want others to make the same choice to validate her choice. As such, you really can't place faith in anything they say. Some people are so over-the-top about it that they destroy their own credibility, they injects a bunch of misleading and unreliable information into the discourse, and they cause people to think that they can't trust any negative information about a particular doctor. They are not doing anyone any favors, either the Dr. or the trans community.*
I've seen people do this time and time again. I've seen all kinds of fights over one Dr VS another, and American doctors vs. Thai doctors. Everyone just digs in and supports their choice and discredits everyone else's. I've seen enough of this that I know you can't trust people's own opinion of their own surgeries. I try to keep this in mind and be as honest as I can, being open about both the good and the bad. We need a lot more of that. However, even I have a bias. I'm a human being. I too want to think I made a good choice. I don't want to think I screwed up my body where a different choice would have been better. I have other biases too.
So, we have to take people's own accounts with a grain of salt. There are differences between these surgeons, but you are not going to find them by asking their patients. The reality is that SRS has gotten fairly sophisticated, but it's still in its adolescence. There isn't a profession wide, medically accepted standard for how this surgery should be done. It's not a tonsillectomy. It is just a little past it's experimental phase, and now in a period where different doctors take their own different approaches to how it is done. Some surgeons are starting to borrow from each other, and there are some cases where you can get the same basic approach to surgery from different surgeons. However, for the most part, choosing a surgeon means choosing a philosophical approach to the surgery.
So, in looking at surgeons, I would say the best thing to consider is 1) their approach to the surgery and 2) their level of experience with it. Level of experience is important for two reasons: A) it's a reflection of their level of surgical experience in general and their ability to deal with and avoid complications and B) these surgeries are still at least in part experimental, and you want someone who has conducted a lot of experiments (patients) to have been able to hone in their technique. After that you can start considering things like price, location, or even complaint history. Lastly, consider the person doing the surgery. You have to feel that you can trust them, both in their competency and their character.
Try to find out in detail exactly how each of these surgeons approach their surgeries and what is different about them. Explore the pros and cons of each of the differences. Decide for yourself which differences are important to you and which ones are trivial. When you get down to a short list based on that, inquire about the number of surgeries they have performed. Then start making inquiries about individual's experiences with them, and take what they say with a grain of salt.
The reason there are so many approaches to the surgery is that none of them are perfect. They all have trade-offs, they all have virtues, they all have shortcomings, and they all have disappointments. If there were one perfect approach, everyone would do it. No matter who you go to, there's going to be something about it that isn't exactly what you find on a natal woman. Now, after the surgery you may convince yourself that you made the perfect choice and the results are perfect like most people do, making those deficiencies unnoticeable. That also means, based on the experience of others, that the only time when you will be able to view this subject with a rational mind is before surgery. After the surgery, you can't trust your own opinion. Viewed the other way, what difference does it make who you go to? Based on the experience of others, you're going to be completely happy with the result no matter what they are. That's the paradox of SRS. We all sweat bullets over getting the best surgery before hand, and are happy with whatever we get afterward. The question then is, do you stop sweating bullets before hand because the result doesn't matter, do you sweat more bullets before hand because you can't trust your reaction afterward, or do you refuse to delude yourself afterward and try to be honest with yourself all the way through? That last one is the hardest."
What a bright girl IMO. While you may not agree with everything on this post, I really believe that it is a good and healthily thing to read it. Hopefully you feel the same way, If not, apologies.
