hormones and dealing with needle phobia

[Peppy]

i know that fear of needles is a very common phobia so i was wondering how anyone currently taking t or looking to take t who has this phobia dealt with it/is dealing with it. my fear is a lot of what's keeping me incredibly hesitant about it (among other reasons) and if anyone has pointers or success stories in getting past the fear it'd be great to hear about it.
i would just say that the need to have testosterone in my body would outweight the fear i have but my fear is absolutely crippling ( i had to get an iv for a surgery and i had a full blown panic attack while waiting for them to get the iv ready. mine are really bad too, because i hyperventilate and start to lose feeling/function of my limbs and face which ultimately makes the feelings worse. it tends to happen every time i have to be immunized too.)

im aware that you can take testosterone using other methods, like topically or even with skin implants, but i've heard that injections are considerably cheaper and i'd like to beat this fear so that i can make my transition more affordable, and even maybe feel better about myself phobia wise, since a fear of needles kind of hinders my health. also i know a lot of bloodwork is involved with taking hormones too and thats also freaking me out. my anxiety's so bad i haven't even called an endocrinologist yet, even though i have the number of one whose very highly rated. im in therapy right now and trying to deal with the phobia but its slow going

[ChimeraInside]

I was able to power through my first shot myself (took me 2 hours, really, but I did it) with the whole "I NEED THIS" mentality, but that hasn't helped me afterward. I've had to have someone else do my shots for me (my husband and then a nurse friend who is kind enough to help me out regularly). The panic attacks were really horrible and crippling. I tried all kinds of advice found online about dealing with the phobia but nothing's worked for me so far. My hope, now, is that I can get comfortable enough getting regular shots that I can eventually have low enough anxiety to take over myself.

To be clear, since needle phobia can have different roots, mine is specific to the needle going into the skin. I'm ok with the rest, it's just getting the damn thing in there that sends my fight/flight response into overdrive. My pre-shot and during shot anxiety levels have dropped significantly now that I know it doesn't hurt very much (sometimes not at all), that I don't have to watch, and that someone with experience is in control of the syringe. But I still don't feel ready yet to do it myself again (every time I think about it, my blood pressure goes up/heart starts racing/etc.).

I hope someone else has a self success story for you or advice that helps you work through it yourself. But I think it's important to know that there's no shame in asking for help if you get to a point where it's obvious you cannot do it yourself for whatever reason.

Be careful seeking tips on this from around the net. I ran into a lot of "man up" bs that made me feel even crappier about my anxiety issues.

[Devlyn]

Oh, not another needle topic! <passes out on floor>

[Peppy]

AH yeah i can imagine this topic is talked about a lot lol.

And im not even really sure what exactly my issue is with the needle. i have extreme anxiety beforehand though. like i will not sleep the nights before i have a scheduled immunization or w/e. i also have to watch it happen because i feel really helpless when its happening. like i have to know when exactly it happens or else i panic more? thats why i think i might be able to maybe do it myself, but i just have this feeling that ill have everything set up and then i wont be able to bring myself to go to the appointments or do the injections because of my anxiety. so im not making any progress on getting closer to actually getting on hormones bluh. its really frustrating

[mangoslayer]

All the guys i know who are scared of needles have someone do it for them. Also most of them have their injections in their butt so they dont have to see it

[chuck]

one thing and one thing only cured my of my intense needle phobia - hypnosis. I downloaded it online  it cost me about 12 usd. After listening to it for a few weeks, i was fine with needles.

[democration]

It's hard for me to say that I'm scared of needles, but they do make me very anxious. I've been giving myself injections for the past seven weeks, and I still feel a little nauseous after each one, but if I lay down for about a minute or so, everything calms down. I've been extremely close to passing out from injections and blood work in a clinical setting, but I've found that doing it myself is actually less intimidating. I have the control.

My first shot took all of about a minute to get through. When it's time to do them, I just turn on some music and zone out, go through the motions, and press the needle in. If it hurts -- and even when it does, it's not that bad... just kind of like a mild pinch -- then I'll stop, wait a few seconds, and keep going 'til it's in.

I've had a few tattoos in the past year, which undeniably hurt more than shots/blood work. I'm not sure if that's helped me or not. I definitely prefer a tattoo gun to a syringe, lol. I've got to go in for more blood work at the beginning of April, and I'm still really dreading that. I don't even know why! I know that none of it hurts, so the anxiety/fear seems so moot. It doesn't make any sense! Haha.

[Daniel006]

I used to have really bad needle phobia.  Now that I've been doing my own shots and figured out where the root of it was, I have been able to mostly overcome it.

For me, the fear comes from the moment the needle changes directions in the darting motion from moving away from me to moving toward me.  My mind perceives it as a loss of control and proceeds to put the brakes on my hand.  I once took about two hours trying anything to get myself to put the needle in my leg, because the nurse said I needed to be quicker with the jab so it wouldn't hurt so much.

After many failed attempts, I pretty much gave up trying to put it in quicker.  Instead, I started the needle at a certain height and just pushed it straight down like a piston.  This prevented my mind from putting on the brakes at a non-existent direction change.  I got it on my first try and have done it this way ever since.

I learned that I wasn't afraid of the pain, but the perceived momentary loss of control.  Even though I can feel more as the needle goes in slowly, I am able to intellectualize the sensations, so the "I need this" arguments work much better compared to when they are combating raw fear.

I hope this makes sense, and I'm not sure if it will help you or not, depending on where your phobia stems from, but hopefully this will help some of the guys who come across it.

[spacerace]

any of you guys scared of needles do subcutaneous injections instead of intramuscular?  As instructed by your doctor, of course

[Simon]

I have something I have done since childhood. No matter what pain I know is coming I sing through it. My song of choice? The TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) cartoon show theme song. I know it sounds funny but it has helped since I was 8 or so and skinning my knees, lol. My advice is find your song.

any of you guys scared of needles do subcutaneous injections instead of intramuscular?  As instructed by your doctor, of course

I have been offered by my Endo to try SubQ but I'm kinda iffy about it. I had three months of Lovenox injections that I took daily SubQ. They stung a lot worse going in there than a T shot IM ever has.

[Darrin Scott]

I have been offered by my Endo to try SubQ but I'm kinda iffy about it. I had three months of Lovenox injections that I took daily SubQ. They stung a lot worse going in there than a T shot IM ever has.

I currently do SubQ with T and I have to say it's easier and less painful. I've been doing it for almost 2 months and I've had less anxiety about my shot since. IM was much more painful and stressful for me. I've also noticed that my changes have come in quicker since doing SubQ.

[spacerace]

I currently do SubQ with T and I have to say it's easier and less painful. I've been doing it for almost 2 months and I've had less anxiety about my shot since. IM was much more painful and stressful for me. I've also noticed that my changes have come in quicker since doing SubQ.

Did your doctor change the amount of your dose/frequency of the shot?  I'm not asking specifics of your dose, of course - just wondering generally.

how about mood stability in-between your shots? did you notice any differences one way or another?

[Darrin Scott]

Did your doctor change the amount of your dose/frequency of the shot?  I'm not asking specifics of your dose, of course - just wondering generally.

how about mood stability in-between your shots? did you notice any differences one way or another?

Initially I took the same dose with SubQ as with IM, but I recently did some blood work and my levels were low so I went up in dose this week actually. My levels were low pre-subQ too so....

I've never had any issues with my mood between shots. Ever. So I'm not one to ask.

[aleon515]

There isn't much info on SubQ-- I think there are doctors doing this around, but if I have to take shots I want to do it this way. I know it might sting, but usually fear of needles isn't for the sting anyway. I haven't heard of this complaint with T anyway.

--Jay

[Simon]

I know it might sting, but usually fear of needles isn't for the sting anyway. I haven't heard of this complaint with T anyway.

For everyone it is different I suppose, but for me it is the sting of pushing the fluid in.

For the most part a needle is a needle. The big ones look scary but don't hurt anymore going in than a smaller one if pushed correctly.

[anibioman]

i had a horrible fear of needles it was a big problem i feared going to the doctor and dentist because of needles. doing my own shots has given me a sense of control and reduced my needle anxiety. the first couple of times i had a lot of anxiety but i powered through and i found doing it slow helps a lot and feeling the needle go it only adds to that sense of control.

[spacerace]

Initially I took the same dose with SubQ as with IM, but I recently did some blood work and my levels were low so I went up in dose this week actually. My levels were low pre-subQ too so....

I've never had any issues with my mood between shots. Ever. So I'm not one to ask.

thanks for answering

I was curious because I am definitely going to ask my doctor about doing it this way  - I am glad to hear you find it less stressful and easier, that is promising

[Blaine]

I used to have a needle phobia that started with a really horrible dentist trip as a kid. I started working toward my certification as an EMT Basic last year and between all of the vaccines and tests I've had to get and the stuff we do in class I've realized there are much worse things out there. 

[Darrin Scott]

thanks for answering

I was curious because I am definitely going to ask my doctor about doing it this way  - I am glad to hear you find it less stressful and easier, that is promising

I think a lot of people are apprehensive about SubQ because it's fairly new in the FTM community. The gender clinic I go to has all of their FTM patients doing it. For me, it works out better.

I think the worst thing about any shot is the anticipation.

[Peppy]

ah thanks for all the great replies! and i think my biggest problem is the whole lack of control thing. i've thought that maybe if i did the shots myself i'd be able to get over it because of that, but im unsure how well that would go down lol. i've been talking to my parents about it tho and i've kind of convinced myself that i could start out with using the topical stuff, like androgel, but i mean there's still a lot to work out and i still need to see a doctor about all this anyway, so im hesitant to say that im for certain going with topical t. its just that the only way i've been able to get any progress done was by convincing myself i wasn't gonna get injections. : ( i feel kind of bad though because i keep thinking if i really wanted this i'd suffer through the needles, but i cannot bring myself to be okay with injections right now. im working on it though. slowly but surely.