The Pros & Cons Of Not Blending In !

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

Ok. we all know the 'cons' [downside] that can come from not blending in...So....

If one does not 'blend in' after they have transitioned, are there any hidden benefits that can come from it ?

Think outside the square folks...

Metta Zenda

[michelle]

If the community we live in is like a bowl of multifaceted trail mix how can we tell if we really blend in or not?   Some times we do and sometimes we don't.   Then if you really think about it does blending in really matter?   

Also can really blend in as being either strictly male or female in our own little circle of close family and friends.   These people know us only too well.

[Anatta]

If the community we live in is like a bowl of multifaceted trail mix how can we tell if we really blend in or not?   Some times we do and sometimes we don't.   Then if you really think about it does blending in really matter?   

Also can really blend in as being either strictly male or female in our own little circle of close family and friends.   These people know us only too well.

Kia Ora Michelle,

That's interesting, however, I was wanting the 'possible' advantages of not blending in...Which no doubt there are a few, if one cares to think outside the box a little...

Metta Zenda  

[~RoadToTrista~]

Um. Well, an unusually tall transwoman is much more intimidating to haters and can generally enjoy making fun of anyone shorter than her. ^.^

[Anatta]

Um. Well, an unusually tall transwoman is much more intimidating to haters and can generally enjoy making fun of anyone shorter than her. ^.^

Kia Ora Trista,

This is possibly true....

Metta Zenda

[Misato]

Pro: Celebrating the diversity of human gender expression possibilities.

Pro: Personally, I like I'm not hung up on every little physical foible I've got.  Most of the time.

Pro: Stories from your past don't have to be edited for content.

Con: Some people have disturbing sexual fantasies involving trans people.  At least that one guy who approached me did.  Eek!

[Anatta]

Pro: Celebrating the diversity of human gender expression possibilities.

Pro: Personally, I like I'm not hung up on every little physical foible I've got.  Most of the time.

Pro: Stories from your past don't have to be edited for content.

Con: Some people have disturbing sexual fantasies involving trans people.  At least that one guy who approached me did.  Eek!

Kia Ora Misato,

Good points...

Also the people who do 'accept' you, accept the 'whole' you-Especially when it comes to intimate relationships-There's nothing left in your closet that could surprise or repel them...

Metta Zenda

[suzifrommd]

To me the most important pro is that when people see obviously transgender citizens engaging in perfectly normal life activities, it helps dispel the pervasive notion that we're deviant or disordered.

[Jennygirl]

What defines transitioned (past tense)?

Full time?

[Emily Aster]

I'm thinking it would be full time with total self acceptance. People don't seem to have the full self acceptance part until well into full-time.

[Anatta]

What defines transitioned (past tense)?

Full time?

Kia Ora Jenny,

Emily E is right transitioned=going full time =HRT surgery=the lot [if one feels the need to have surgery that is]...

Metta Zenda

[Mohini]

I think that being externally trans (I dislike the notion of 'passing' and 'not passing' though, as unfortunately necessary as they are) allows that transparency. I agree with others that by being externally trans, people who are genuine approach you with honesty!

I remember a moment while taking the bus with my boyfriend. I saw a visibly trans sister on the bus in her early 40's at the front, with who I presume was her mother. It actually made me so happy, that I wanted to shout "LOOK I'M TRANS TOO! SISTAHZ! EEEEEEEEE!!" but I knew it would cause a scene.

It any case, she looked content and serene, and I sent her a mental blessing! The rest of us can be comforted knowing that there are trans people in the population!

[Nero]

Well, I'm probably in the minority in that I blend in a bit too well for my tastes probably. I think I might like it if I were obviously trans. But I mean trans, not 'butch female/there's obviously something wrong with that guy hormonally/I can't tell what that is'. And I think for ftms, there's really no 'obviously trans' unless maybe in certain queer spaces.
Having people just instantly know I was trans (and what I have in my pants) would ease things for me sexually. No awkward 'um... you do realize I don't have a dick?' explanations.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora All,

And thanks for your responses so far... And I can see where you're coming from NSFA,

Well, some trans 'identifiable' people, they are always in demand, never short of company, cis people always wanting to know about their life etc...Some of those who are fortunate enough to live in a trans-friendly environment, no doubt like the attention that their trans-identifiability brings , possibly thriving  on the popularity ... Especially if they are somewhat outgoing 'extroverted' by nature...

Metta Zenda  

[SophiePeters]

I Pass extremely well to the point of not blending in and it rattles my nerves a ton. At first i thought it was me not passing and i was constantly paranoid of people then after a party and some talks with friends i realized im actually being checked out which is awesome living the dream but holy crap theres something to be said about blending and not drawing attention good or bad.  especially only 6 months in transition to be pulling so much attention means more opportunity for disaster if that makes sense.