Would you still be happy as a woman who doesn't get romantic attention?

[Paige H]

Pretty much in the title.

You've gone through the transformation, you pass...But as a woman, people do not seem to find you attractive, at least the ones you meet. Despite efforts.
And let's assume no cash for FFS, at least in the near future, and by near I mean a good number of years.

How much would it affect you emotionally?

[big kim]

I've had 2 dates in 8 years!it would be nice to have a romance but the longer I'm without the less chance I think it will happen.I'm used to it and can't see me being involved romantically with anyone.I feel envious when I see couples sometimes

[Paige H]

I have the same thing, envy with couples :S It's a tough thing that I still have not learned to deal with or settle into it.   

You are used to it, but are you happy? Do you see other factors that would make you happy without romance?

[Rita]

I am a woman no matter what, so I would just have to deal with it.

Given I am addicted to love and romance it would be very hard but I would deal with it.

TBH though I have not had that problem and there seriously are many people out there for everyone!  Don't give up on love unless its something you want to live without.  This is all a part of the human condition whatever the definition of that means to you.

[ZoeM]

I might not be happy, per se - but I would most certainly be happy with myself.

Then again, I was pretty much untouchable (in the Indian caste sense) as a guy, so ... it can only get better, right?

[Cassandra Hyacinth]

That would actually be my ideal scenario. The thought of being in a romantic relationship again genuinely sickens me.

[Paige H]

That would actually be my ideal scenario. The thought of being in a romantic relationship again genuinely sickens me.

It's ok if you don't care to elaborate, but I am highly curious why you feel this way. No details are necessary of course, just what kind of reasoning/personal experience led you to this scenario. Or have you simply never wanted one and/or are asexual?

[MaidofOrleans]

Would I still be happy?

Yes.

Will I find myself in that scenario?

No.

[Paige H]

MaidofOrleans - How do you know you'd still be happy then, if you have never been through it?

I have been happy in the past too without it, but once the craving starts .... It wants to be satisfied. And if you've been lonely and know how the craving feels without being satisfied, that's when you know.

[Beth Andrea]

There's a lid for every pot, it's said. There's always pets for loves, but of course there's no romance in that...

I never got romantic attention as a guy, so it'd be status quo for me. If I had to, (and I was about to, when I was a guy) I'd go to one of those "cheap" massage places to  have human-on-human contact. Tip them well enough, you'll be touched. Nothing wrong with that.

But...to feel loved, and wanted...that cannot be bought (or rented...) I know with the older people, loneliness is chronic and severe. Some deal with it by volunteering, at senior centers, hospitals, churches, soup kitchens/food banks, etc. By helping others, one forgets for a time how lonely they are.

This is a band-aid, of course. At this time in my life, I'm well beyond needing a band-aid. I was a mangled wreck emotionally before transitioning, and like a person who was in a coma their whole life...I need to learn to "walk" again. So...would I be happy?

I genuinely don't know. Ask me again in 5 years when I've healed some.

[Jeepgirl90]

far as I'm concerned on this topic, I haven't any kind of romantic thing in 2 years and I was married at least I was (we separated in November)... so romance would be noce however I can live without .. it wouldn't kill me

[tomthom]

I'm just not worried about it. I've never had a problem with it before and I don't see a problem ahead.

as they say, confidence is key.

[muuu]

.

[Paige H]

I never got romantic attention as a guy, so it'd be status quo for me. If I had to, (and I was about to, when I was a guy) I'd go to one of those "cheap" massage places to  have human-on-human contact. Tip them well enough, you'll be touched. Nothing wrong with that.

But...to feel loved, and wanted...that cannot be bought (or rented...) I know with the older people, loneliness is chronic and severe. Some deal with it by volunteering, at senior centers, hospitals, churches, soup kitchens/food banks, etc. By helping others, one forgets for a time how lonely they are.

Too bad there isn't a BF bandaid

Oh, and this is strictly about romantic loneliness I don't understand how people can forget, being around other people, when other people who come in can have BFs etc. I supposed it can help only if you're happy for them. Unfortunately I myself get awful envy bangs that make it impossible to concentrate anything else anymore.

[MaidofOrleans]

MaidofOrleans - How do you know you'd still be happy then, if you have never been through it?

Love and friendship are more important to me and I don't need a romantic partner to feel those things, that's what friends and family are for  plus I have enough hobbies to keep me happy and occupied for an eternity failing that. Not to mention I have like 0 sex drive so I can go without that forever if I wanted to.

but like I said, i'm confident I won't have to worry about it, I had guys hit on me pre-hormones.

[anya921]

Yes I think I would be much much happier than how I used to be even without romance. But it would not be the perfect life I dreamed of having. But love comes in all colors and shapes. Its not all about the looks. Its more than that. So there will be that person for each and everyone. at least that's what I believe.

But I have never been in that situation. So I really can't tell for sure.

[big kim]

I've come to accept being alone,it doesn't make me sad anymore it used to.I have enough interests and never enough time to do all I want.A romance would be nice if it happened but I just can't see it I'm not much of a drinker and don't really like bars and clubs.

[Joanna Dark]

i would be way more happy as a woman with no romantic attention then now but I'd be happier in a relationship. it's kind of a goal but not a non-negotiable one.

[MaidofOrleans]

I've come to accept being alone,it doesn't make me sad anymore it used to.I have enough interests and never enough time to do all I want.A romance would be nice if it happened but I just can't see it I'm not much of a drinker and don't really like bars and clubs.

bars and clubs aren't the only places to find romance.

I'd say they are the worst.

[Cassandra Hyacinth]

It's ok if you don't care to elaborate, but I am highly curious why you feel this way. No details are necessary of course, just what kind of reasoning/personal experience led you to this scenario. Or have you simply never wanted one and/or are asexual?

Definitely not asexual (though dysphoria means I wouldn't really be comfortable in a sexual relationship until I was on hormones at the very least, possibly not even until surgery, but that's a different story...)

The way I see it, in a relationship, subconsciously or otherwise, you do invest a bit of yourself into the other person. And unless you're a man in a relationship with a woman, you do end up being judged based on your relationships a hell of a lot.

Plus it'd get in the way of all the things I want to do, to be honest.