Is feeling that you ARE the opposite sex universal among transgendered people?

[Senrab]

I have been struggling with gender dysphoria issues for years (I'm 22, its been going on since I was in middle school to different degrees), having gone to a therapist, elected to not take hormones because I thought I could adapt to my gender without them, and now am struggling again. However, I don't feel like I am, at this moment, a woman. I feel like I would be more congruent with my gender if I was female, and I continuously think about how I want a female body, and I have a near impossible time relating to most strongly gendered males. I feel like I have a mind which is innately strong, directed, and feminine, but I couldn't possibly tell someone that I am a girl right now.

My real question is still whether you need to actively feel like you are the opposite gender to have gender identity disorder.  I feel more like a girl (tomboy I guess you could say) but I'm a very literal person and I'd have a hard time saying that I am a girl. So input on that would be helpful, especially from anyone who is trans.

[ZoeM]

No. It's not.

My own case is similar to yours; I have always felt that I wanted to be/would be better as a woman, but it was not until I started actually transitioning that I could think of myself AS one. I expect immediate corroboration from the other fine ladies of the board.

In sum: You have nothing to worry about.

[natastic]

No. It's not.

My own case is similar to yours; I have always felt that I wanted to be/would be better as a woman, but it was not until I started actually transitioning that I could think of myself AS one. I expect immediate corroboration from the other fine ladies of the board.

In sum: You have nothing to worry about.

Immediate corroboration issued from this fine lady here 

[suzifrommd]

My real question is still whether you need to actively feel like you are the opposite gender to have gender identity disorder. 

Absolutely not.

I do not feel like a woman. I'm 100% transgender, wanted to live as a female all my life, feel far more comfortable when I'm presenting female, etc.

The universality of "feeling like" your internal gender is a total myth perpetuated by poorly researched media. Some trans people feel that way, but some do not.

[muuu]

.

[~RoadToTrista~]

No. Some trans people identify as a type of male, but they still get dysphoria and take estrogen. Whatever.

[Padma]

Agreeing with all the above. Also, there are plenty of gender non-binary people who are trans and transitioning who are not doing so with a "target gender/sex" in mind, but simply the goal of no longer experiencing dysphoria.

I find myself most recently most at ease describing myself as polygender - but have a very clear and unambiguous sense of being that person in a female body, hence my transition, since I'm MAAB. And for conventional purposes I'm happiest being considered a woman, but it's not a very close fit.

[Jamie D]

Ok, thanks everyone for the support, I really mean it.  This is where it gets confusing though.  So after going to the therapist initially I basically came to understand the non binary, stereotypes don't define gender idea better, and was determined that I could defeat confusion by differentiating these things in my mind as much as I could, and by not being ashamed of my feminine feelings.  And I did do that, and it not only makes me feel more myself but also makes me much less stressed.

That being said, that was about 2 years ago now, and the thoughts about changing gender haven't gone away.  They are less compulsive (a little bit), and much less stressful, but not gone.  And everyone who I came out to originally thinks I resolved my issues.  It just makes me very confused.

It seems to me that gender, or genders (for those of us who identify as non-binary), or the lack of gender, is innate.  The concept of changing my gender is foreign to me.  The concept of my gender expression constantly changing, is a way of life.

[Padma]

Aye, it's one of the misleading things about the term "gender transition", since it's the gender that's the still point, and everything else that transitions to meet it.

[Rachel]

I am not binary.
I do not want my male parts, never did.
I will find out how I feel with HRT, soon, so I can't comment on that now.
I do not know what a woman feels like nor have I been raised female; however, I see and feel myself in the female sex and emotions, always have.

I am transgendered and I will try HRT to see if it right for me and help me to be who I am. The therapist and I reviewed what HRT will most likely do and the probability I will stop ( not likely). Also, we reviewed the physical changes and what that will mean socially, at work and home. It is a difficult long process and there are stepping off places if it is not right for me.

Hope this helps.

[ford]

Agree with others: it is definitely NOT universal.

I'm FAAB. All I can say with certainty is that I'm NOT female. I'm male-ish, but feel uncomfortable with the term 'man'. My transition involves masculinizing enough to get rid of my body and gender dysphoria, or rather, unfeminizing. Or becoming at least recognizably male. But not necessarily unmistakably male. Etc etc.

Details still being worked out, obviously   

There are a lot of ways to slice this whole gender identity thing. It's different for everyone, I suspect.

[JennX]

I've always felt and acted more female than male. And as previous posts have said, there is no right or wrong. The idea of gender is fluid and ever changing. There are no requirements. Be you and be happy. Screw everything else.

[Alexia77]

Aye, it's one of the misleading things about the term "gender transition", since it's the gender that's the still point, and everything else that transitions to meet it.

Like Padma, I've realized with a lot of soul searching that, deep down, I'm comfortable with who I am. It's just that I have an I'll fitting body. To be more comfortable, I know that my body must match the female model.

[A]

Nope, you don't need to.

The only conviction I've always had is that I'm not a guy, that it doesn't feel right to be a guy. Not wanting to be a woman has driven my actions much more than wanting to be a woman. Once I started going through the process, I really started solidifying the idea that I'm female, but I don't think it's possible for me to be 100 % sure until I have transitioned.

But the farther I've gotten through this, the more I've been leaning towards me being a woman. And the more I go that way, the better I feel.

You don't need to ascertain the absolute knowledge of being a woman to make transition a viable choice. As long as it feels right to go in that direction, then go. Probably, as you go, you will feel more confident about your choice. Even if you never reach certainty, you just need to ask yourself if it feels better.

Besides, gender dysphoria is not to want to be the opposite gender; it's to feel bad about one's current gender. Those who completely identify as androgynes had gender dysphoria as well: they felt bad being a man/woman. And it's dysphoria, even though they didn't want to become a woman/man.

[MaidofOrleans]

This is a tough one.

I identify as a trans woman not as a woman. I never have and never will be a woman and for me to think that is silly. I'm a hybrid I guess. In my dreams sometimes I am male and sometimes I am female and sometimes....both. I guess I could say im a male bodied woman trained in the ways of both worlds. Unique and special in my own ways.

Maybe it's just all part of being in this limbo stage of transition where I stand between worlds.

[suzifrommd]

I never have and never will be a woman and for me to think that is silly.

I think something like this in my darkest moments. Other times I have hope that even I will join my MtF trans sisters in woman hood. I kind of have a script I play in my head at times like that:

I know I'm not a woman.
I hope to become one.
But if I can't, I'll gladly fake it for the privilege of living as one.

GID really messes with the mind.

[TerriT]

I don't always "feel" like a woman, but there are enough times in my life that I desire it. I certainly don't "feel" like a man. I'm just trying to find a comfortable place.

[DrillQuip]

The nature of my trans* journey is marked by the need to become more physically male, not by the inner feeling of being male.

[Sabrina]

For me, I feel a definite female presence inside but not so much male despite what I was born as. But due to my current situation, I must put on a male front for the rest of the world. Only in private, can I embrace my feminine side. I have plans to speak with a therapist to get incite on my inner femininity and recent self-acceptance.

[anya921]

Same here, I always knew I wanted to be a girl, but I was such a tomboy when growing up. Infact I think I still do lol. I love all the adrenaline rush and neck breaking stuff, But I wanted to do all those stuff as a girl. Even after I started my transition I found it bit strange when I am telling I am a girl or even some one calling by my new name. Don't get me wrong, it felt great when some one called me ma'am or in my new name and I was really forcing every one to use it too. But first it felt strange because I was not used to it. for 27 years I was used to my old name. So it took some time to get used to calling my self a girl. But now I am nothing but a woman, A happy one that is  . Can't even remember being my old self and I don't respond to my old name. I just forgot once I used to be that person lol.
Also I never see my self is a transwoman. I am just a woman.

Some called them selves as girls since they were little, some found it strange at the start. Each and everyone has a different story.