I'm digging myself an early grave, yet I can't stop digging

[Joe.]

I've never told anyone this properly. I've always been too ashamed. I was always the fat kid at school. Ever since I canremember, tthat's what I was. When my book got given to me it would be 'here's fatty's book', or walking down the corridor 'haha she's so fat she can't get through' even when I could, 'nobody likes you you fat pig', 'go eat some more pies'. The list goes on. It's all I've ever known and I'm used to it. The past 2 years or I've been comfort eating. Badly. I can't make myself feel better any other way, so I just eat. Crisp, sweets, chocolate. All the junk food. Then once I'm done, I look back and think 'you fat pig', 'you just ate ALL that', 'no wonder you're so fat'. Slowly my clothes are getting tighter, I can't walk for long without getting out of breath, I've been feeling dizzy lately and it's like I can't breath. I know I'm digging myself an early grave. I'm scared I'm going to have a heart attack, yet I'm suicidal, how does that work? How can I be scared of death when most of the time it's what I want? Do I go to a doctor about my weight? They'll just tell me to eat less crap, I know that already. I can't stop. I know only I can change my way of life, and it's my fault, but I can't seem to stop it. I have no will power left. I have no self esteem. I'm 5 ft 10 and 15 stone. That was the last time I weighed, I've probably put on more since then. I don't dare to look. I'm an embarrassment.

[Devlyn]

Five foot ten, you tower over me! I'm sure people will say I'm wrong, but you can eat anything you like if you do enough calorie burning to get rid of it. If I drop below 2500 calories a day, I start losing weight. I am always walking, always moving. And always eating. What sort of exercise do you do? Hugs, Devlyn

[Joe.]

I walk everywhere, that's about the only exercise I get. I need to start up jogging and join a gym, it's just getting that motivation.

[Devlyn]

How far do you go? Start tracking your exercise, eating habits, and weight, you should be able to figure out a happy medium. A glass of water right before you eat a meal slows you way down, and costs a fraction of a gym membership. No sugary drinks, and only eat at meals. Snacks are only for growing children, people who missed a meal, and the fortunate ones like me who have the metabolism of an F-16! Hugs, Devlyn

[peky]

37 lb over weight...not to bad...no your problem is not your weight...it is a whole in your heart...

How do we mend a broken Heart....?

Love! you need to love yourself and stop listening to the voices of the past...escape the "victim state" rebel against it...

Love from across the pond...OO Peky

[ZoeM]

I was 6 0 and 235 this time last year. Turns out commitment was all I needed - I set myself to eat approx. 1200 calories per day - controlled by not buying food, and buying low/no-calorie items where necessary - and now I'm 173 at last count. I promise, you can do the same.

[Jess42]

I know it's hard and after a couple of days the stomach will shrink to the point that it will take less food to fill you up. Try smaller portions, lower your coloric intake and exercise, which I really hate to do. I wanted to lose a few pounds here recently. I fasted for two days without eating anything. I am not suggesting this but rather what I did. My stomach shrank enough to where it took half as much food or less to feel full. I also cut out all sweets, processed foods, fast food and soft drinks. I can see and feel the difference after two weeks. Also, I can't constantly weigh myself because that can get dissapointing if you are expecting to lose such and such amount but the scale will show you lost less than what you expected.

[bethany]

Earlier this year I went on a diet, exercise for me is well almost impossible do to having Muscular Dystrophy and with that I am confined to a wheelchair.  In early January I was 184 pounds, Since then I dropped down to 163.  I did it by counting the calories of what I took in. It was anywhere from 1000 to 1500 a day. Drink lots of water, and if you must snack eat some fruit. 

[Jamie D]

I've never told anyone this properly. I've always been too ashamed. I was always the fat kid at school. Ever since I can remember, that's what I was. When my book got given to me it would be 'here's fatty's book', or walking down the corridor 'haha she's so fat she can't get through' even when I could, 'nobody likes you you fat pig', 'go eat some more pies'. The list goes on. It's all I've ever known and I'm used to it. The past 2 years or I've been comfort eating. Badly. I can't make myself feel better any other way, so I just eat. Crisp, sweets, chocolate. All the junk food. Then once I'm done, I look back and think 'you fat pig', 'you just ate ALL that', 'no wonder you're so fat'. Slowly my clothes are getting tighter, I can't walk for long without getting out of breath, I've been feeling dizzy lately and it's like I can't breath. I know I'm digging myself an early grave. I'm scared I'm going to have a heart attack, yet I'm suicidal, how does that work? How can I be scared of death when most of the time it's what I want? Do I go to a doctor about my weight? They'll just tell me to eat less crap, I know that already. I can't stop. I know only I can change my way of life, and it's my fault, but I can't seem to stop it. I have no will power left. I have no self esteem. I'm 5 ft 10 and 15 stone. That was the last time I weighed, I've probably put on more since then. I don't dare to look. I'm an embarrassment.

Joey, I was not unlike you at one point.  I ate to deal with my distress at having gynecomastia, and to basically feel happy.

There is a psychological component, but there may also be a physiological component.

You should be tested for diabetes, as well as for evidence of "metabolic syndrome".  Do that while you are young, learn to like yourself and have good nutritional habits.  And you will avoid an "early grave."

[Amanda M]

If you are having dizzy spells and shortage of breath you MUST get along to your Doctor as soon as possible.  Get this fixed first, then worry about the weight later.fcmccd