Another first

[sarahb]

I made my first hair appointment today. I want to start cutting my hair more feminine and also get it straightened since, unless I straighten it, it gets all frizzy, curly, wavy...just plain horrible. Does anyone have any advice on what I should say? Should I come out and say I'm TS and that's why I want a partially feminine cut? Do they even care?

It'll definately be interesting to see what the reactions are at work. It's funny how most of the time on here I read that people's co-workers barely ever noticed the changes before they came out. For me, it seems like they notice everything, moreso even than my family sometimes. They've commented on me growing out my hair, shaving my arms/legs/etc., my long-ish nails. Luckily it seems as though they don't mind so I'm happy about that.

[cindianna_jones]

Tell them that you are going to give them the most interesting day that they've had in a while.  And then tell them that you are getting a sex change and need a feminine cut.  It works every time.

I do have some advice for you though.  Go to a beautician that knows his/her stuff.  Super Cuts won't "cut it".  You should find someone who can maximize your hair style with your features.

Chin up!

Cindi

[Kate]

Does anyone have any advice on what I should say? Should I come out and say I'm TS and that's why I want a partially feminine cut?

I tried something like, "This is going to sound odd, but please cut my hair into the most female and feminine style possible."

She wasn't flustered one bit, and was incredibly helpful and nice, giving me tips at the end on how to use a blowdryer and brush to straighten it, etc.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do except even the ends out, as I didn't want to lose any length really. But it was still a very pleasant experience.

~Kate~

[Keira]

Usually men's hair are almost impossible to style in a female way, especially if you've got receeding temples (which almost everybody over 20 has).

The best bet is just to layer the ends, so they will flip out instead of just hanging down. You want to create volume off the head when hairs are short. Even on a short ugly hair, it really feminizes the cut. Then, you just put mousse and try to flip them out as much as possible. That's what I did initially when my hair was in that uncutable stage. The problem is that if they are very short, its hard to layer without cutting the length too. Sometimes you've got to bite the bullet and just let your hair be really ugly for 2-3 months.

[MeghanAndrews]

just tell them you are experimenting with a different look, maybe find a picture of what you want. if you can't find it on a guy, find it on a girl and just say 'you know, i know this is a girl's cut, but i really think it would look good on me. plus it will grow back."

i tell the nail lady to cut my nails rounded and put a clear coat on, i told my hair stylist when i first started going that i liked my eyebrows thinned out with an arch because i go out dressed a lot. she was like, 'wow, really?' and that started all kinds of interesting dialogue

[sarahb]

I pretty much figured that it'd be best to go to a "real" salon and not fantastic sams or anything  It is a very reputable place near my house and I've read many great reviews about how nice the people are there.

I think I'll take all of your advice and just go in there with my head held high and ask for a feminine style...I'll leave it to their wisdom to decide what style. *and so the butterflies begin*

[Renae.Lupini]

Unless you have been with your stylist for a while and you both work well together, always take a picture. Your way of describing something may not be the same as their definition. that is how people end up with jacked up hairstyles. When I was outed I had just gotten off active duty from the Marine Corps. I still had a jarhead haircut for a while. Even as i let it grow, it was still evident that i had been in military. My hair was long enough for my first styling session a week after i started living in my preferred gender role. I was very androgynous at this point. At that time, they weren't sure if I was a man or a woman. Now they all know I am a transsexual and i get treated with great service every time i go.

You will be just fine. Just remember to take a photo with you;)

[Judge Yourself]

"This is going to sound odd, but please cut my hair into the most female and feminine style possible."

I need to go and ask for the reverse... well to get the courage to do so

[Kate]

"This is going to sound odd, but please cut my hair into the most female and feminine style possible."

I need to go and ask for the reverse... well to get the courage to do so

Don't sweat it. Like many people have said, especially where money (and tips) is involved, people don't care. But even otherwise, I've told soooo many professionals now that I'm TS, and not one of them blinked - and most offered encouragement even when they couldn't help me (such as with HRT).

This whole thing seems soooooo HUGE to us, but to most people... it's just a minor curiousity for their day. They're worried about dinner, the kids at daycare, who cheated on who last night... whatever.

Plus, it HAPPENS. We always think we're the only person in existence to ask for such a thing, when they've probably encountered TS (etc.) customers before.

~Kate~

[Judge Yourself]

Yeah, youre so right. I've a habit of worrying myself out of doing things when i really should just do them. I realised when i went shopping that people really dont care and that the world doesnt revolve around me

[Kate]

I've a habit of worrying myself out of doing things when i really should just do them.

You got it!!!! That's the Big Secret

I have 2,046 posts now TRYING to learn just that one, simple lesson

~Kate~

[Judge Yourself]

haha well i think i should put it at the bottom of all my posts, just to remind me

[lilith]

This is becoming less and less of a problem for me as time goes on, but I have found that when I appear male, people almost seem to go out of their way to project their own views of what's male back on me, almost in spite of whatever "feminine" clothing or behaviour I might have. Like maybe they think that I don't realise how girly some of the things I do are, and they're embarrassed for me and want to help me feel like i'm a guy.

For example, I went to a salon once when I already had long hair (but still looked obviously male) and I brought a picture from a magazine of a girl who had what I guess would be considered a pretty feminine haircut. I asked the person to make my hair like that, and she was perfectly nice about it (didn't even blink)... but she didn't make my hair like that at all. What she gave me was a very clearly "male-ified" version of what was in the picture. Evidently she couldn't fathom that, being a male, I really did want it just like the picture, unless I went out of my way to spell it out for her.

So... take that as you will.